Category: Mindful Self-Leadership

Meditating with your parental self

Post author By Toby
Post date June 16, 2021

“If we are already, or have aspirations to be an outer parent, needless to say the better our relationship to inner parenting we have, the more equipped we are to be a competent outer parent”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on how to start working with the psychological sub-personality known as the ‘inner parent’. Its something that we focus on quite extensively in my Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program.

In the spirit of inner parenting,

Toby

Meditating with your parental self

Who is your parental self?
The mature adult or parental-self (for this article let’s consider them the same, although they can be distinguished) is that part of your psyche that embodies the mature ego. It is able to bear responsibilities in life, knows how to plan for the future, and to nurture and protect the lower levels of self (child and youth), ideally with a balance of firmness and love

Why is it important to get to know this part of yourself?
From the above definition we can see that our parental self is vital for living a fulfilling, healthy life. We need it to navigate problems, set goals (and stick to them), interact with others successfully, and look after other aspects of our inner psyche, principally our inner child.
If we are already or have aspirations to be an outer parent, needless to say the better our relationship to inner parenting we have, the more equipped we are to be a competent outer parent!

Two aspects or dimensions of our parental self
Like our outer parents, our inner parent has two dimensions, or aspects; the mother and father. Here is a bit more detail on them (Definitions taken from Nathaniel Branden, the Six Pillars of Self Esteem, page 265ff):
The mother-self is the component of the psyche containing an internalization of the personality, perspective, and values of an individual’s mother (or older female “mother figures” who had an influence and impact during childhood. We are dealing with the individual and historical, not the generic or universal “Mother”. (This is very different from Transactional Analysis’s generic “parent ego-state. Mother and Father are both parents, but they are very different and should not be treated as a psychological unit; they often send very different messages and have very different attitudes and values.)
The father-self is the component of the psyche containing an internalization of the personality, perspective, and values of an individual’s father (or older male “father figures” who had an influence and impact during childhood.)
Our parental selves are a psychic reality, that we are interacting with all the time, it’s just a matter of whether we are doing it consciously or unconsciously. The exercises below offer a few pointers for getting started.

Free association on your parental selves.
Bring to mind the words ‘my mother self’ or ‘my father self’ (choose one or other at a time initially). Holding it within your awareness allow your mind to start to free –associate feelings, images, memories, thoughts, desires and actions/activities with your mother or father-self. At this stage the main thing is to focus on being curious as to what sort of memories, feelings and so on arise when you contemplate the idea of your mother or father self. Whether these feelings and memories are pleasant or unpleasant is secondary, the main thing is simply to see what comes up without editing any of the content.
After a while ask yourself the question “What does my mother or father-self look like?” Allow your mind to build an image of your mother and father-self; s/he may simply be an image of yourself as a mature adult of a certain age, but equally s/he may be different from your literal, historical mature adult-self in some way; for example, s/he may resemble one of your parents or other adult role models that you have had.

Asking opinions and perspectives
Once you have a visual on both your inner parents, you can start getting to know them; their opinions, perspectives and how they function. You can start to discern which parts of them are working well and are healthy, and which parts are dysfunctional and in need of healing. Together with them you can create an inner parental self that is consistent, can be relied upon and is both firm and loving to your child self.

Related article: Meditating with your inner child

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

This masterclass teaches six complementary breathing techniques that will help you:

Connect to your body’s natural intelligence and capacity to move towards balance and harmony
Release stress and tension on progressively deeper levels
Combine relaxation with sustainably higher energy levels
Make your life and activities into a ‘flow’ state
Develop systematically deeper states of physical, psychological and spiritual concentration
Reduce over active thinking and cultivate stillness
Cultivate breathing patterns that are conducive to physical health and well-being

R ead full details…

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation
The Summer Solstice (Called by the Celts ‘Alban Hefin’, or ‘the Light of Summer’) is the high point of summer in the northern hemisphere, the point of the Suns maximum power in the year, & the longest day. It is a good time to attune the life-force in the earth & creative energies within ourselves. We will be taking the time to get in touch with our own inner power, solar confidence & expressive self.

At the summer solstice, we can think about the autumn & winter periods that lie ahead of us, what our goals & expectations are, & sow the seeds on an inner level of the things that we wish to manifest over the next few months.
Full details…

Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

In a sentence: Learn how to work creatively with uncertainty, imperfection and life’s inherent messiness to realize your leadership and self-leadership potential. Manage stress and anxiety better using mindfulness in combination with the practical philosophy of Wabi-Sabi.
Principle aspects of Wabi-Sabi include:

An appreciation of the beauty of the impermanent, the imperfect and incomplete
A recognition of the value of humility
A willingness to engage with the unconventional

R ead full details…

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

10% early bird offer: Up until the 22nd June SGD$765 (Course price $850)

Overview: This is a weekend, three-session dynamic mindfulness program designed for:

Those looking for an engaged, practical mindfulness course designed to build resilience, effectiveness and wellness in the face of work and life challenges
Trainers, coaches and therapists looking to integrate mindfulness into their own professional practice with clients
People who have been through basic conventional mindfulness training programs and are looking for the next level of practice and performance

The essential content of the course is ten separate but interlinked mindfulness meditation practices…
Read full details

The new Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program

This is eight-month coaching program with Toby is designed to facilitate your own personal mindful self-discovery process. It focuses on:

Awareness of how your past experience has influenced who and how you are today
Confidence in approaching your present experience with playful fullness and enthusiasm
Giving you the inner tools to face your choices and your future in an empowered, dynamic, and authentic manner

Read full details

Watch Toby’s video on the Program:

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Ongoing Tues/Wednesday – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week course

Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags inner parent, inner parenting, integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, parental self

Biographical creative imagery Energy Meditation Enlightened Flow Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Creating your own “Circle of the wise”

Post author By Toby
Post date May 20, 2021

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on a creative meditation that I’ve done in various forms for many years.
Next weeks Tuesday & Wednesday sessions are Wesak Full Moon Meditations, which contain a variant of this meditation in it.

In the spirit of the wise,

Toby

Creating your own “Circle of the wise”

What would it be like to sit in the company of the wise, the deeply creative, and deeply awake? What if you imagined vividly that you were in just such company, and imagined yourself talking with them, listening and enjoying silence with them? The meditation that I describe below is one that I have done many times in my life in a variety of forms, according to purpose, in order to gain insight, solace and support for different stages and different projects that I have taken up.

Stage 1: Select your domain
Firstly, you need to think about the purpose of the group that you are working with. Is it to help you go deeper in your meditation? Help you get better at a particular discipline? Help you with a particularly stressful part of your life? Help you with your creative writing? Select your purpose. For the purposes of this example let’s say it’s to help me with my creative writing.

Stage 2: Set your intention, let them come
Sit down in meditation, and set your intention to meet your ‘circle of the wise’ around the particular domain you are focused on. In this example I am intending to connect with writers whom I admire, from any era, who may be able to help me. With this intention I then sit and relax. I might begin to see myself in a particular place, with perhaps a circle of seats. I take one of these seats, and then wait to be joined. Some of the people/beings who come might be those I intend to be a part of the circle; others may come unexpectedly. There may even be some that I don’t even know exactly who they are, they may not be famous or previously known to me.

Stage 3: Communion and communication
Once they have assembled, you can them bring to the table any questions that you might have, or subjects for discussion and feedback. You can initiate as much conversation as you like, or you can simply enter into a more intuitive, non-verbal communion with your circle, receiving support from them in this way, and simply absorbing the atmosphere of their presence. When you wish to conclude, you simply thank them for their presence, see them fading from your inner vision and return to your everyday consciousness.

You can stay with a particular group for the duration of a particular project (members may come and go somewhat during this time!) or you can simply have a more general ‘circle of the wise’ that you connect to regularly in meditation that is of a more semi-permanent nature. This exercise might seem a bit abstract just reading about it, but it really takes on a totally different dimension and living vibrancy when you actually do it!

Tuesday 25^th & Weds 26th May – Wesak Full Moon Meditation

Toby will be leading a meditation to help you to:

Find a place of coolness, peace and stability amidst the turbulence of your own life
Connect to the inner creative and evolutionary energies that you sense emerging within yourself at this time, giving them name and direction in your life
A chance to connect with the spirit of the Buddha and your own inner world guidance
Practice inner world journeying for the purposes of healing, knowledge and renewal. This journey is undertaken both for yourself and or your circle of influence.

Read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Ongoing Tues/Wednesday – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week course

Tuesday 25^th & Weds 26th May – Wesak Full Moon Meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags creativity, integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation

Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present Stress Transformation

Taking the weight off your chest (Transforming sadness)

Post author By Toby
Post date May 10, 2021

“Running from difficult emotions is a way of coping with them, turning and facing them is a way of learning to thrive off them”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks Tuesday & Wednesday evening classes will be on transforming sadness and connecting to courage, which is the subject of the article below.

The article also touches on some of the principles of Taoist qi gong meditation, which I’ll be exploring on some depth on the 15th of May in my Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Finally, if your interested in meditation and sound technology, my favorite brain entrainment meditation track of all time is Digital Acupuncture is on 20% special offer for the next couple of days. Check it out if your interested, you can read a bit more about the principles on me ‘meditation technology page‘.

In the spirit of the courage to transforming sadness,Toby

Taking the weight off your chest (Transforming sadness)

Effecting transformation
In order to transform our difficult emotions, we need to be able to turn and face them. Our instinctive response to them is often the opposite; to run and hide from them, repress the, deny them or avoid them. Running and hiding from emotions we can’t face is a coping mechanism, turning and facing them is a way of learning to thrive off them. In this article I’m going to talk about this in terms of sadness and grief as an example.

The physical location of sadness and grief
We often talk about sadness as ‘heaviness of heart’, and it’s certainly true we feel often feel it as a heaviness in the chest. In the Taoist tradition the emotions of sadness and grief are said to sit in the lungs, which is also true from all of our experience in the sense that, when we feel sad, we ‘sigh’, which is a particular way of breathing that holds the sadness. The chest area in general then holds a lot of our sadness physically.

Acknowledging and feeling the weight
In order to start working with your own sadness, just bring to mind the words ‘my sadness’ and or ‘my grief’. Just let yourself free associate around these words. Allow your mind to bring up memories and subjects of sadness for you, and notice your bodily response to the sadness. In particular focus on the weight of the feeling in your lungs and chest area. As you breathe in allow yourself to feel the sadness, as you breathe out relax into the sensation of it, gently allowing it to be there.

Releasing the sadness
As you breathe in extend care and understanding to your lungs, and to the sadness there. As you breathe out smile to the sadness, inviting it to gradually brighten and be released (you can combine this section with the inner smile meditation in my previous article). Without being in a hurry, allow the energy of the emotions embedded in your lungs and chest area to start to change and transform.

Opening to joy and courage
Once you have effected a sense of release in your lungs and chest, you can begin to invite the positive emotions associated with these areas; joy and courage, to fill up the space. The energy that was previously locked in the patterns of sadness and grief can be re-calibrated into these positive emotions and qualities. Smile, relax and feel joy and courage filling your lungs as you inhale. Feel your whole chest area becoming strong and resilient, both physically and emotionally healthy.

So, there is the basic pattern. Of course, I’m describing a process that will take more than just one session to effect deep change. You also need courage to persist and consistently turn and face the layers of sadness that come up when you start to release years’ worth of it! With skillful and wise consistency, you can deeply change the energetic dynamic of your chest and lung area, and the inner emotional landscape that goes with it.

Related article/recording: Smiling to the inner organs meditation

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

20% Special offer Until May 12th – DIGITAL ACUPUNCTURE
Qi-Encoded Nature Sounds for Healing, Renewal, and Releasing Stress

Digital Acupuncture (formerly called Audio Acupuncture), a part of iAwake’s Energy Alchemy Series, contains soundtracks embedded with a unique energetic signature of the human acupuncture meridian map which optimizes the healthy flow of qi through all the acupuncture meridians.
See full details

Saturday 15^th May – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing Masterclass & Mini-retreatQi-gong is the science of working with the body’s energy field. Literally translated into English it means ‘energy work’, or ‘energy skill’. In this workshop Toby will be teaching the art of moving subtle energy and life force into and around our body using a series of simple and easy to apply techniques that will enable you to:

Re-establish your body’s natural bio-rhythms
Strengthen your immune system
Balance the energy in your body and mind, leading to inner peace and wellbeing

Read full details here

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Ongoing Tues/Wednesday – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week course

Saturday 15^th May – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Tuesday 25^th & Weds 26th May – Wesak Full Moon Meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags energy meditation, integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation in singapore, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, transforming emotions

A Mind of Ease creative imagery Inner vision Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

A wheel spinning out of balance

Post author By Toby
Post date April 21, 2021

“In order to find consistent balance we have to work consciously to adjust to changeability and imperfection. We have to be ready and expect life’s wobbles and curve balls!”

Dear Integral Meditators,

What does it mean to have a conscious and balanced approach to life’s imperfections and messiness, and how can we implement this approach effectively? this is the subject that I explore in the article below.

In the spirit of balance,

Toby

A wheel spinning out of balance

Life is pain?
The first noble truth of the Buddha when he started teaching was what he called the “Truth of dukha”. Dukha is a Sanskrit word that is most often translated as ‘suffering’. So then it looks like his observation is that life is fundamentally the experience of suffering, or pain

Dukha – A wheel spinning our of balance
If we look a little deeper, the Sanskrit word ‘dukha’ actually doesn’t have a direct english translation, but a closer translation would be something akin to “a wheel spinning out of balance”. So Buddha basically said “Life is like a wheel spinning out of balance”. What this means (in my opinion) is that he is observing that life is almost continuously uncomfortable, out of balance, inconvenient, uncertain. In order to find balance we have to work quite hard to be making adjustments to these imperfections. We have to be ready and expect life’s wobbles and curve balls!

Riding a wobbly bicycle
One image I use to meditate on Dukha is I imagine I am riding a bicycle with a buckled back wheel. As I ride, I bounce and lurch up and down, and from side to side as the wheel rotates. I have to be ready for the un-predictable movements, making adjustments to stay upright. I have to be mindful and alert to ride this bike of life, otherwise I’m going to fall off!

Accepting dukha, moving forward creatively
In terms of mindfulness, much of working with Dukha is acceptance; simply accepting the messy and intractable nature of life as it is. If we aren’t able to do this, then we do spend a lot of time suffering as a result of our inability to accommodate for life’s natural wobbly-ness! (See recent article on ‘Resilience thru acceptance – matching your expectation with your reality‘)
The second mindful skill we are trying to develop on the basis of acceptance is acting creatively to

Adapt to the wobbling movement
Act decisively to move in the direction we want to go, sculpting and molding the presenting circumstances into something worthwhile

Jumping from wheel to wheel
More recently I’ve been working with an image for this second, ‘creative action’ part of Dukha. I imagine a series of spinning wheels in the sky. I am having to jump from one to the other, ascending to higher and higher levels, like a dance. I am having to use my wit and dexterity to keep moving forwards and upwards, and avoid falling off!

If you like in your own meditation and contemplation, you can use these two images , of wobbly bicycling and jumping across the sky-wheels as a way of working with the dukha in our own life. Here’s to dancing with our messy, wobbly realities!

Related article: Baseballs or confetti?

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 8th May, 2-5pm – Mindful Parenting – Practical Techniques for Bringing Awareness, Appreciation and Enjoyment to the Experience of ParentingIn a sentence: Learn how you can enjoy your experience of parenting more, manage emotions more effectively, and become a better parent by using mindful awareness

Are you a stressed out parent (or stressed about becoming one) and looking for ways to manage that stress more effectively?
Would you like to improve your capacity to parent in a way that creates an improved experience of the parent-child relationship both for you and your kids?
Would you like to be able to demonstrate calm and being present to your children in a way that will help them to become more calm and present themselves?

Read full details…

Saturday 15^th May – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing Masterclass & Mini-retreatQi-gong is the science of working with the body’s energy field. Literally translated into English it means ‘energy work’, or ‘energy skill’. In this workshop Toby will be teaching the art of moving subtle energy and life force into and around our body using a series of simple and easy to apply techniques that will enable you to:

Re-establish your body’s natural bio-rhythms
Strengthen your immune system
Balance the energy in your body and mind, leading to inner peace and wellbeing

Read full details here

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Saturday 8th May, 2-5pm – Mindful Parenting – Practical Techniques for Bringing Awareness, Appreciation and Enjoyment to the Experience of Parenting

Saturday 15^th May – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags dukha, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation

Concentration creative imagery Integral Meditation Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

Meditating cold turkey (quality over quantity)

Post author By Toby
Post date April 15, 2021

“Short ‘power meditations’ train our mind to focus quickly on the tasks immediately at hand in our life. This in turn helps us to achieve the goals that we have set ourself, save time and get more out of the opportunities that we have each day”

Dear <<First Name>>,

My article below explores how you can sometimes make your mediation time shorter, but to good effect, particularly around stilling your mind. If you enjoy it, then here’s the final call for the
mini-retreat this Saturday: Mindfulness meditation for mastering & stilling the mind on Saturday. If you are really master your ability to still your mind, then this is the session to go for!

In the spirit of cold-turkey,

Toby

Meditating ‘Cold Turkey’

With regards to meditation it is best to get in to good habits as soon as possible. One of the main good habits that we are trying to develop right from the outset of our practice is discipline and focus. This means that once we have sat down on our meditation seat we are entirely focused on the job at hand and do not allow our mind to be knocked off course by distractions, no matter how much they may be nagging us. To this end it can sometimes be better to focus on the quality of our meditation practice rather than the quantity. Five minutes of really focused and applied meditation is worth more than twenty minutes where our application is half hearted, and our mind spends 70% of the time distracted.

To this end here is a five minute meditation where we practice stopping our thoughts ‘Cold Turkey’:
Sit comfortably with a naturally straight back, have a watch or other timing device handy.
Take a few deep breaths, center yourself, then imagine that the past and future dissolve away, only the present remains.
Be aware of the inner voice in your mind that is talking pretty much all of the time in our waking life, take about 1 minute to watch it and listen to it, ensuring that you do not get identified with it.
Using your watch or countdown timer, now begin a period of five minutes where you are 100% focused, and your only task is to let go of your thoughts and stop thinking. Imagine that the thoughts and images in your mind are like a TV, as soon as a thought or an image appears, inwardly press the ‘off’ button on your inner remote control, and let go of the thought, return your mind to zero, no thought.
For the five minutes that you have given yourself, apply yourself to this task with total commitment. No ifs and no buts, your only job is to keep alert, be fully present and stop thinking. You are not asking yourself to be perfect, but you are committing yourself to really applying yourself for this short time to do the very best you can. Initially you may get knocked off track a few times, but if you do it regularly with real application, you will find that your ability will improve substantially in a short period.
Once the five minutes is up, spend a final minute relaxing and observe the space that you have created in your mind through your efforts. When you bring the meditation to a close, be sure to congratulate yourself, for that short time you can say with your hand on your heart that you gave it your all!

As well as creating good meditation habits, this form of ‘power meditation’ also trains our mind to focus quickly on the tasks immediately at hand in our life. This in turn helps us to achieve the goals that we have set ourself, save time and get more out of the opportunities that we have each day.

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

In case you missed the last article: Resilience thru acceptance – matching your expectation with your reality

If we take a working definition of resilience as the ability to bounce back quickly from setbacks and obstacles (or apparent setbacks and obstacles), then what are the most important things to be aware of to get good at it? In this article I’m going to be exploring the role of empowered acceptance in competent resilience….
Read full article

Saturday 17^th April, 2.15-5.15pm –Mindfulness meditation for mastering & stilling the mind Mini-retreat
In a sentence: Develop the mindful skills that will enable your mental health and wellbeing to thrive, and how to still and focus our mind. Make your mind a source of quiet confidence & cease feeling overwhelmed by mental over-activity and busyness.

Overview: Would you like to:

Develop ways of working with your mind that will enable it and you to thrive?
Learn how you can connect to an inner stillness that is able to withstand the stresses and strains of your daily life, helping you stop feeling mentally & emotionally overwhelmed?
Feel as if you are in control of your mind, rather than it controlling you?

Read full write up…

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday/Wednesday evening February 23rd/24th – Meditations for thriving and energy creation amidst Covid – A seven week course

Saturday 17^th April, 2.15-5.15pm – Mindfulness meditation for mastering & stilling the mind – Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Tuesday 27th & Wednesday 28th April – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Saturdays 8th & 22nd May, 3-5pm – Mindful Parenting – Practical Techniques for Bringing Awareness, Appreciation and Enjoyment to the Experience of Parenting

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags Concentration, focus, integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindful concentration, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation

A Mind of Ease Awareness and insight Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership

Resilience thru acceptance – matching your expectation with your reality

Post author By Toby
Post date April 12, 2021

“The tension between our expectation and our reality, unless addressed continuously wears down our energy and resilience in a way that is absolutely avoidable”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks Tuesday and Wednesday classes will be meditations on resilience. In the article below I give some practical pointers for developing resilience by learning to match your expectations with your reality.

A reminder of this Saturday’s meditation mini-retreat; Mindfulness meditation for mastering & stilling the mind on Saturday. If you are really master your ability to still your mind, then this is the session to go for!

In the spirit of resilience,

Toby

Resilience thru acceptance – matching your expectation with your reality

The gap that wears you down continuously
The gap I am pointing to here is the gap between how you want things to be and how things are. This tension between expectation and reality, unless addressed continuously wears down our energy and resilience in a way that is avoidable.
Here are three simple examples of how we can close this gap using acceptance.

How the night will go
Over the last 10 months i have been living with interrupted sleep due to my baby daughter. If I have a few nights where she sleeps quite well, then I start to have the expectation that this coming night will go a certain way. Of course, my baby’s sleep pattern changes. If it changes for the worse, and I go into the night expecting an easy night, then when I have a more interrupted night I will naturally become irritated. This is because my expectation (“I should be getting this much sleep”) no longer matches the reality. Much of the friction and frustration I experience now comes from the ‘gap’ between my expectation and reality. So, the movement here is to recognize and accept that the pattern has changed, and that things wont be so easy for tonight. If I can do this, my expectation and reality now match, and I can simply focus on dealing with what IS!

How the business should be going
If I go on a good run in my coaching business, accumulating clients and gigs with little effort, then I can start to have the expectation that this will be how things are permanently. If for whatever reason this changes, then a gap can appear between my expectation and reality. “It should be easy to get clients and gigs, I shouldn’t be having to try so hard!” (Notice when the experience/reality gap appears, we start to use the words should and shouldn’t a lot!). If I can accept that the landscape has changed, and that I need to come up with new strategies, then the expectation vs reality gap disappears, and I can simply focus on what needs to be done.

Acceptance leads to harmony and energy saving
Form the above examples I hope you can start to see that mindful acceptance leads to a harmonization of ourself with our reality, where we are no longer wasting energy resisting what is.

Acceptance leads to empowered action
when we are no longer resisting what is, then our energy and intelligence is then free to spring into action to be constructive and pro-active about the presenting challenge. We can create and innovate in the face of impermanence and change, and enjoy the good feeling that comes from being more adaptable and effective.
From this I hope you can begin to see how acceptance leads to resilience and winning the long game. Then the question is, what are the domains in your life where there is a expectation/reality gap? If you can identify two or three of these, and start working with mindful acceptance in them, you can start to make a noticeable difference on your own resilience focusing in these domains.

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Overview: Would you like to:

Develop ways of working with your mind that will enable it and you to thrive?
Learn how you can connect to an inner stillness that is able to withstand the stresses and strains of your daily life, helping you stop feeling mentally & emotionally overwhelmed?
Feel as if you are in control of your mind, rather than it controlling you?

Read full write up…

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday/Wednesday evening February 23rd/24th – Meditations for thriving and energy creation amidst Covid – A seven week course

Saturday 17^th April, 2.15-5.15pm – Mindfulness meditation for mastering & stilling the mind – Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags meditation, meditation in singapore, mindful resilience, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, resilience

Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope Presence and being present Uncategorized

Big-hearted, luminous kindness

Post author By Toby
Post date April 5, 2021

“Extending kindness to yourself has a healing effect on your body, heart and mind. Extending it to others creates positive connection on all sorts of levels. Going deeper into meditation with kindness enables us to contact a luminous dimension of our consciousness that is one half of the enlightened state.”

Dear Integral Mindfulness,

This weeks Tuesday and Wednesday classes will be meditations on kindness. In the article below I give some practical pointers to develop a robust kindness that can be relied upon to keep us energized and centred under stress….

If you missed it, then do check out last weeks article on the Re-discovering joy in your thinking – Five aspects of mindful mental mastery. If you enjoy it, I’ll be Mindfulness meditation for mastering & stilling the mind – Masterclass & Mini-retreat on Saturday 17th April, and the Meditation for beginners workshop on the 10th April. Both cover practices related to mental mastery that you can start to use right away!

In the spirit of kindness,

Toby

Big-hearted, luminous kindness

Making kindness a basic state that you work with consciously everyday has many benefits. Extending it to yourself has a healing effect on your body, heart and mind. Extending it to others creates positive connection on all sorts of levels, and going deeper into meditation with kindness enables us to contact a luminous dimension of our consciousness that is one half of the enlightened state.

Big-hearted, luminous kindness
Kindness is really an extension of awareness. Whenever we pay attention to something or someone with caring awareness, we are practicing kindness. Kindness is a pleasant state in and of itself, but it also invokes a dynamism that encourages us to act and speak kindly. If you pay attention to yourself and others with kindness, you will quickly start to connect to the pleasure of it, and the healing qualities that it contains.

Big-hearted kindness means empowered kindness
When we practice kindness, ideally behind it should be the sense that our heart contains enough strength and power to be benevolent. We are being kind because we can, because we wish to, because we see the benefits, and because we wish to be a cause of the good in our life and in the life of others. When we meditate on kindness we are looking to find this type of kindness, that comes from a space of freedom, empowerment and choice. We should have a sense that it comes from a part of our creative nature, and a part of the art of the way we live. Sometimes this is not easy, so it is very much a discipline as well as an art!

Kindness to be liked and not dis-approved of
Sometimes we can find ourselves being ‘kind’ not because we feel benevolent or strong, but because we feel obliged, or we don’t want to be dis-approved of. If we notice this is the case, then we need to be a little bit careful. This is kindness essentially based around fear and a need for approval. Rather than being big-hearted, this type of kindness can be a type of weakness, and can lead to certain types of wishy-washy-ness and a weakening of our sense of inner strength and empowerment.

Reciprocal kindness
Of course when we are being kind to others, we find they return the favor. In this way we set up loops of kindness where everyone benefits and ‘wins’. Something to watch out for here is that, sometimes we can act kindly with an ulterior motive, which can become a kind of cynical or in-authentic kindness.

Luminous kindness
In meditation terms, the unitive or non-dual energy of spirit can be separated into two parts. These may be thought of of as bliss and emptiness or, conceived another way as a kind of primal luminosity flowing within the space of infinity. The psychological state of kindness corresponds in some essential ways to the luminosity, or bliss. So, if you first generate kindness on the level of human energy and emotion, and then stop thinking and relax into the inner spaciousness of your consciousness, you can start to get a feeling of this primal bliss or luminosity gently radiating out through the inner, infinite space of your consciousness.

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

In case you missed it, last weeks article: Re-discovering joy in your thinking – Five aspects of mindful mental mastery

Human beings are the mental Ferrari’s of the biological world. Our brains and minds are an incredibly powerful and creative instruments, which have enabled us to do incredible things. However, for many people this amazing capacity for thinking and conceptualizing is working against them. Most of us often feel:

That we cannot control the quantity or pace of our thoughts
That the content of our thoughts is often stressful or negative
We find ourself thinking about our problems in a way that makes them worse
Thinking feels exhaustive and addictive, we feel mentally overwhelmed and cognitively overloaded
The joy in our thinking is absent

Mental mastery, or mastery of the mind involves :

Exercising benevolent control over the quality and quantity of our thoughts
Turning useless, stressful ways of thinking into appropriately critical, useful ways of thinking
Avoiding cognitive overload and mental exhaustion
Learning to re-discover joy and enthusiasm in our thinking

Read full article…

Saturday 10th April, 3-4.30pm – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now (Live & Online) – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Once sentence summary: Learn the practical fundamentals of how to meditate and begin your own meditation practice in this short 90minute workshop
You may have heard how meditation can increase:

Your quality of life
Your sense of inner security and well-being
Your ability to love and be loved
Your concentration
Your ability to access inner peace

Read about the workshop

Saturday 17^th April 11.30am-1.30pm & 2.15-5.15pm – Mindfulness meditation for mastering & stilling the mind – Masterclass & Mini-retreat
In a sentence: Develop the mindful skills that will enable your mental health and wellbeing to thrive, and how to still and focus our mind. Make your mind a source of quiet confidence & cease feeling overwhelmed by mental over-activity and busyness.

Overview: Would you like to:

Develop ways of working with your mind that will enable it and you to thrive?
Learn how you can connect to an inner stillness that is able to withstand the stresses and strains of your daily life, helping you stop feeling mentally & emotionally overwhelmed?
Feel as if you are in control of your mind, rather than it controlling you?

Read full write up…

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday/Wednesday evening February 23rd/24th – Meditations for thriving and energy creation amidst Covid – A seven week course

Saturday 10th April, 3-4.30pm – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now (Live & Online) – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Saturday 17^th April 11.30am-1.30pm & 2.15-5.15pm – Mindfulness meditation for mastering & stilling the mind – Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags kindness meditation, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindful kindness, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation

A Mind of Ease Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope

Mental mastery – Re-discovering joy in your thinking

Post author By Toby
Post date March 29, 2021

Dear Integral Meditators,

Everyone deserves the ability to take joy in and feel enthusiasm around their mind and thinking, but its a treasure that we have to hunt for and cultivate, not something we are handed on a plate. This weeks article gives a range of practical pointers to build a greater degree of mental mastery in your life.

If you enjoy it, then do check out the Mindfulness meditation for mastering & stilling the mind – Masterclass & Mini-retreat on Saturday 17th April, and the Meditation for beginners workshop on the 10th April. Both cover practices related to mental mastery that you can start to use right away!

As for this week, we have the Full moon manifestation meditation on Tuesday and Wednesday.

In the spirit of joy in thining,

Toby

Re-discovering joy in your thinking – Five aspects of mindful mental mastery

That we cannot control the quantity or pace of our thoughts
That the content of our thoughts is often stressful or negative
We find ourself thinking about our problems in a way that makes them worse
Thinking feels exhaustive and addictive, we feel mentally overwhelmed and cognitively overloaded
The joy in our thinking is absent

Mental mastery, or mastery of the mind involves :

Exercising benevolent control over the quality and quantity of our thoughts
Turning useless, stressful ways of thinking into appropriately critical, useful ways of thinking
Avoiding cognitive overload and mental exhaustion
Learning to re-discover joy and enthusiasm in our thinking

Here are five fundamental mindfulness practices that can help you use your mind masterfully. Each can be found in different forms in different mindful traditions, eastern and western, ancient and modern. You might think of them as perennial, or fundamental practices:

Emphasize quality over quantity
Think less and slower. If you were to reduce the quantity of your thinking by say 10%, and increase the quality of your thinking by the same percentile, then you wold find that your mental environment will change substantially. More room, more positivity, less stress!

Think from appreciation and abundance
Daily, deliberate reflection on what has caused you joy, what makes your life rich, and what has happened that invites appreciation and gratitude. Practicing this as a discipline changes radically the inner context from which you see your life.

Observation and objectivity
Watching the content of your consciousness as an observer frees us from the bondage of over-identifying with our thoughts and thinking. ‘Stability comes from holding the position of the observer’ is a truth that means this type of mindful observation has been recommended by multiple meditation traditions, eastern and western for thousands of years.

Think critically
Thinking critically means making objective assessments according to the facts available to us. If we can reduce our negative critical thinking, particularly around ourselves, then we can start to use our critical thinking as a weapon for positive change in our life.

Don’t think
For many people this might seem like an ‘advanced’ skill that is out of their reach. However, for example if you were to commit to stopping your thoughts for 5mins, 4-5times a week (see my old article on meditating cold turkey) you’d be surprised at how competent you could be at it.

Everyone deserves the ability to take joy in and feel enthusiasm around our mind and thinking, but its a treasure that we have to hunt for and cultivate, not something we are handed on a plate. Happy mindful hunting!

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 10th April, 3-4.30pm – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now (Live & Online) – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Once sentence summary: Learn the practical fundamentals of how to meditate and begin your own meditation practice in this short 90minute workshop
You may have heard how meditation can increase:

Your quality of life
Your sense of inner security and well-being
Your ability to love and be loved
Your concentration
Your ability to access inner peace

Read about the workshop

Tues 30th & Weds 31st March – Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation SessionThis meditation, done on or around the full moon capitalizes on the heightened lunar energies at this time of the month to:

Bring energy and health to our physical body
Increase benevolent, life affirming emotions such as appreciation, joy and gratitude
Release patterns of energy, thinking and feeling that are no longer serving us
Focus on clarifying our intentions and manifesting our current life-goals

Read full details

Overview: Would you like to:

Develop ways of working with your mind that will enable it and you to thrive?
Learn how you can connect to an inner stillness that is able to withstand the stresses and strains of your daily life, helping you stop feeling mentally & emotionally overwhelmed?
Feel as if you are in control of your mind, rather than it controlling you?

Read full write up…

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday/Wednesday evening February 23rd/24th – Meditations for thriving and energy creation amidst Covid – A seven week course

Saturday 27th March, 10.30-12.30 & 2-5pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence Master class & retreat

Tues 23rd & Weds 24th March – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Tues 30th & Weds 31st March – Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Saturday 10th April, 3-4.30pm – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now (Live & Online) – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Saturday 17^th April 11.30am-1.30pm & 2.15-5.15pm – Mindfulness meditation for mastering & stilling the mind – Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Tags integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mental mastery, mindfulness, mindfulness and the mind, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation

Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

Representing your values – Mindful self-trust

Post author By Toby
Post date March 13, 2021

“The more we are able to access the innate feeling of trusting ourself, the more relaxed and confident we will then tend to feel about our ability to represent our values consistently and capably; we feel we are in integrity with ourself.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article looks at self-trust as a quality we can develop through mindfulness. If you enjoy it, we will be meditating on it in the Tuesday and Wednesday meditation class this week.

Beneath the main article you can also find another one on overcoming passivity, in case you missed it!
In the spirit of self-trust,

Toby

Representing your values – Mindful self-trust

One fundamental way to build your own self-esteem and trust is to act with integrity, which is to say in accordance with your own values. If you are consistently speaking acting and being in a way that you are representing yourself appropriately, then you are going to feel secure within yourself, and that you are in the presence of someone trustworthy.
Here is a simple three stage cycle that you can use to build trust in yourself and your integrity.

Intention – “How can I act with integrity in this situation, what are my values here?” Firstly, in any given situation you need to turn up with the intention to represent your own values.
Consistency and reliability – “Am I consistently following through with my values?” Secondly, you need to be consistent about it. It’s not enough to begin with the intention, but then forget it half way and end up acting in a way that doesn’t represent our values at all.
Capability – “What are the skills I need to represent myself with integrity here?” Thirdly, you need to assess your capability to act in accordance with your values. Sometimes it is not that you don’t want to, or that you aren’t consistently trying, it is just that you lack the skill and capability to act in such a way. In this case you need to learn the appropriate skill to become capable.

Doing what you say you will do
So of course, there are a huge number of ways that these three stages can play out according to circumstance, but on a simple level it’s about doing what you say (to yourself) you will do, and demonstrating to yourself on a daily basis that you are trustworthy and can be relied upon.

If you say to yourself you are going to do some research into starting a new business tomorrow, then tomorrow do the research
If you say to yourself that you are going to talk to your partner about the difficult subject you have both been avoiding, then make sure you do so!
If you are being bullied at work and say your going to learn how to handle it better, then go and find someone who can teach you or coach you. If you don’t have the capability, then learn it

The state of self-trust
The state we are aiming for here is one that, when we are in our own company, we feel as if we are with someone whom we feel comfortable trusting

We trust the power of our conscious intention
We feel we can rely on ourself and our consistency
We may not have all the skills to deal with all scenarios, but we can trust ourselves to be pro-active, and acquire the skills we lack (when we do lack them) to become capable and effective

The feeling of trust invites integrity
The more we are able to access the innate feeling of trusting ourself, the more relaxed and confident we will then tend to feel about our ability to represent ourself and our values consistently and capably; we feel we are in integrity with ourself. It becomes a mutually enhancing circle of integrity and trust that we can use to feel energised and enthusiastic about our life, even and particularly when we are under pressure or navigating uncertainty.

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

In case you missed this article: Overcoming passivity (Centered, responsive, creative)

Part of the benefit of an engaged mindfulness practice is that, because we are more centered, we tend to feel less intimidated by our challenges, and by the anxiety that they stimulate within us. As a result, it is easier for us to turn toward our challenges, to face them directly, and respond consciously, creatively and dynamically to them. This in turn increases our sense of positive participation in and enjoyment of life. It becomes a playground for us to learn, develop and get stuck into, rather than a frightening, intimidating trap waiting to get us!
Read full article

Watch Toby’s 45 Second mindfulness video – Overcoming passivity:

Saturday 27th March, 10.30-12.30 & 2-5pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence Master class & retreat

In a sentence: Learn how you can effectively defend yourself from negative people, energies and places outside of yourself, as well as the fears and problematic emotions that you feel present within yourself using simple & specific mindfulness & meditation techniques.

Overview:

How can I keep myself strong, directed & happy when other people around me are negative, unhappy or even consciously or unconsciously verbally/psychologically attacking me?
When I am under stress and can feel my own negativity, anxiety, depression, anger & so on surfacing, how can I defend myself effectively?

Read full details

It is also good time to attune the life-force in the earth and creative energies within ourselves. We will be taking the time to get in touch with the new ideas, energies and creativity within ourselves as they emerge like new plants and flowers in spring…read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday/Wednesday evening February 23rd/24th – Meditations for thriving and energy creation amidst Covid – A seven week course

Saturday 27th March, 10.30-12.30 & 2-5pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence Master class & retreat

Tues 23rd & Weds 24th March – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Tues 23rd & Weds 24th March – Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindful trust, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, self trust

Energy Meditation Enlightened Flow Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation Recordings mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present Uncategorized

Overcoming passivity

Post author By Toby
Post date March 12, 2021

“Part of the benefit of an engaged mindfulness practice is that, because we are more centered, we tend to feel less intimidated by our challenges, and by the anxiety that they stimulate within us.”

Dear Toby,

Mindfulness, well practiced should make us calmer, but not more passive. In the article below I explore a bit of the process whereby we can become more dynamically engaged in our life by being more mindful.

Quick practical note, the timings for the Psychic Self-Defence Masterclass and Mini-retreat have now been adjusted to be both on Saturday 27th March, from 10.30-12.30, and then 1.15-4.15.

In the spirit of pro-activity,

Toby

Overcoming passivity (Centered, responsive, creative)

Uncentered, anxious, passive
When we feel off balance mentally and emotionally, we naturally become more vulnerable to anxiety. When we are anxious, the tendency to avoid problems, challenges and stress instinctively causes us to avoid thinking about them, or to think fearfully. When we do this we become passive, non-creative and procrastinate. We then only act when we have to, as a reaction at the last minute, that we may not have thought through.

Centering yourself
One simple way to mindfully center yourself is as follows:

Sitting of standing comfortably, locate the approximate center of your torso, somewhere between the heart and the solar plexus, mid-way between the front and back, left and right halves of the body. Don’t worry to much about exactness, just find the approximate literal physical center of your body.
As you breathe in, breathe your body energy into your center, feel your life-force and energy gathering there. As you breathe out, relax from this central point, feeling your life-force flowing from the centre of your body to the periphery.
Take a few breaths like this to physically, psychologically and energetically center. Relax into the solidity of this feeling

Turning and facing
From this position of centre, being to mind a challenge that you are facing, one that might normally cause you to move into a state of avoidance, anxiety and passivity. Turn and face this issue, being mindful to stay centered, even as different emotions come up. Be curious, caring and courageous, what do you notice as you then amd face?

Responding pro-actively
Think to yourself ‘How can I engage in this challenge benevolently, creatively and pro-actively? What can I try? What can I offer?’
Your answers to these questions is your invitation to overcome your passivity, and get stuck in!

Watch Toby’s 45 Second mindfulness video – Overcoming passivity:

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

In case you missed this article: Mindful Optimism

Finding optimism
What is the state of optimism like? Here are a few characteristics that occur to me:

Joyful-ness, enthusiasm
A sense of being supported by tangible and intangible forces in the world
The feeling of a bright and possibly exciting future ahead
The reasonable expectation good things are going to happen to you, both now and in the future
An expansive, bright and comfortable feeling in the body, as if you belong in the world, and you can operate there with ease
Read full article

Saturday 27th March, 10.30-12.30 & 2-5pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence Master class & retreatIn a sentence: Learn how you can effectively defend yourself from negative people, energies and places outside of yourself, as well as the fears and problematic emotions that you feel present within yourself using simple & specific mindfulness & meditation techniques.Overview:

How can I keep myself strong, directed & happy when other people around me are negative, unhappy or even consciously or unconsciously verbally/psychologically attacking me?
When I am under stress and can feel my own negativity, anxiety, depression, anger & so on surfacing, how can I defend myself effectively?

Read full details

Tues 23rd & Weds 24th March – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditationThe Spring Equinox in the northern hemisphere marks the mid-point between the cooler, darker seasons of the year and the lighter, warmer ones. The forces of day and night, light and dark are of equal strength. As such it represents time to emphasize balance and harmony, both in our life and meditation practice.It is also good time to attune the life-force in the earth and creative energies within ourselves. We will be taking the time to get in touch with the new ideas, energies and creativity within ourselves as they emerge like new plants and flowers in spring…read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday/Wednesday evening February 23rd/24th – Meditations for thriving and energy creation amidst Covid – A seven week course

Saturday 27th March, 10.30-12.30 & 2-5pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence Master class & retreat

Tues 23rd & Weds 24th March – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Tues 23rd & Weds 24th March – Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology