Category: Presence and being present

The mind waving at itself & the Ocean-ness of consciousness

Post author By Toby
Post date February 9, 2026

“Observing mind-waves helps us to relate to thoughts in a different, free-er way than our normal, or conditioned perception allows”

Dear Integral Meditators,

All day your mind is waving at you, what does this mean? Find out in the article below! If you enjoy it, we will be exploring these methods in both the weekday (Weds eve) and Saturday sessions this week. You are invited!

If you are interested in Qi gong, do check out the Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels & for Self-Healing that I will be facilitating on the 28th Feb.

In the spirit of mind-waves,

Toby

The mind waving at itself & the Ocean-ness of consciousness

The ocean waves, the mind thinks

In Zen there is an expression; ‘the mind-waves’. Mind-waves is a term that helps us to relate to thoughts in a different way than we usually do. Our normal, or conditioned way of relating to thoughts is something like:

I am having thoughts – the thoughts are inside me; I am the possessor of the thoughts, the thoughts are the possessed object
I am identified with the thoughts – my identity has fused with the thoughts, to the extent that my sense of self has been reduced in the moment to this current train of thought

In meditation we can think of the mind, or consciousness as an ocean. The ocean is a vast body whose nature is water. Our mind is a vast containing space whose nature is awareness. The ocean ‘waves’, the currents and the wind produce waves on the surface of the water. The ocean and the waves are not two separate things; its is the nature of the ocean to ‘wave’ and the waves all have the nature of ‘ocean’.
Similarly, the currents in our mind and consciousness produce ‘thoughts’. It is the nature of the mind to ‘thought’ and the thoughts have the nature of the mind.

Practising: The mind waving to itself

Armed with our image then, we can start to watch our mind where we watch the mind ‘waving’ to itself. We notice that in the ‘ocean-field’ of our consciousness, there are thoughts coming and going. To get an initial feel for it you can use this method from my previous article:

“Use the body and breathing as an anchor for your attention. If you think about your attention as like a boat, and your thoughts and feelings as being like the waves, wind and other moving conditions around the boat. Your body and senses then become like the anchor that keeps the boat in one place. You don’t even need to try too hard still your mind and feelings. Just keep coming back to the anchor of your body, and you’ll find this gives you the basic ‘weight’ and stability for a sense of calm to start to come into your mind”

Once you feel relatively stable using this method, you can then simply practice watching the thoughts arising from your mind, like waves arising from the sea. You watch the mind ‘waving’ to itself, recognising the thoughts are a particular expression of the unlimited, oceanic nature of your own mind, or root-consciousness

Mind-waving and zones of the body

It can be interesting and informative to watch the waves of your mind whilst anchoring your attention at different levels of your physical body:

If you watch centered in your head, you will notice the mind-waves are more cognitive in nature
If you watch centered in your heart-centre, you will notice the mind-waves are more emotive in nature
If you watch centered in your belly, you will notice the mind-waves are more instinctual in nature

Watching from any of these levels, the watching of the waves should then lead to a capacity to relax into the nature of the mind itself; our formless timeless ‘Ocean-of-consciousness’. This is great for relaxation of you are a recreational meditator. If you are a professional, or more serious meditator then wave-watching is a great way to relate and connect to your already-awakened nature, and experience yourself as that.

Related reading:
Effortless wholeness – The ocean & it’s wave; not one, not two
Riding the Waves of the Mind
The sea snakes of the mind
A bag of rats & a big meadow (tactics or strategy?)

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Tues 13^th, Weds 14^th January, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body – a 10-week integral meditation course

Starts Saturday 17^th January, 5.30-6.15pm, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body deep-dive: An 11 -session practice series

Saturday 28th February, 9am-1pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels & for Self-Healing

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, Zen meditation

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A bag of rats & a big meadow (tactics or strategy?)

Post author By Toby
Post date February 3, 2026

“When you practice the ‘sheep in the meadow’ form of awareness, you can keep your attention on your ‘bigger Why’s,’ accepting the small obstacles that you encounter on the way toward your larger goals”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week I outline two images to help you refine and develop your awareness in a way that can significantly transform your daily experience. If you enjoy it, we will be exploring these methods in both the weekday (Tues&Weds) and Saturday sessions this week. You are invited!

If you are interested in Qi gong, do check out the Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels & for Self-Healing that I will be facilitating on the 28th Feb.

In the spirit of the meadow mind,

Toby

A bag of rats & a big meadow (tactics or strategy?)

This article explains what is essentially a perspective shift that changes your relationship to your thoughts, and how you experience them. It looks at how we can create an inner space for ourselves that contains a lot more acceptance and allowing. We will then look at some other applications of this principle in daily life.

The bag of rats – Your everyday ‘small’ mind

Imagine you are a rat in a dark sack. There are several other rats inside. It is dark, hot, and claustrophobic. You feel agitated by the rats around you, they in turn feel agitated by you. You have a very limited sense of where you are and what is happening to you, it is all close-up, friction-loaded and conducive to irritation, even paranoia.
In everyday life our mind can feel a bit like this bag of rats. It feels trapped inside our body. Often, we feel trapped in an even smaller space, the one between our ears, inside our skull! There are many thoughts about many things in this small space, bumping into each other, creating friction as they rub-up against the thoughts next to them. A lot of feelings and emotions are created from this rubbing. It is difficult to know which feelings come from which thoughts, and what emotional state came from where. It’s difficult not to get confused, to difficult to see our life clearly.
When your mind is like a bag of rats, life naturally feels a bit tough and contentious. States like acceptance, flow, curiosity come at a premium and are difficult to maintain.

The open meadow – Making your mind bigger

“To give your sheep or cow a large, spacious meadow is the way to control him” – Shunryu Suzuki

The quote from Suzuki above refers both to the method to control one’s mind, but also an approach to working with other people, and with experiences in our life. In terms of mind-training and meditation, this instruction stands in contrast to the ‘rats in the bag’ image from the first section. When sitting with the thoughts in your mind, rather than trying to control them, stop them or ‘fix’ them, you simply make your mind and awareness bigger, like a large open meadow. Rather than having your thoughts ‘in your head’ like rats in a bag, you make your mind big, with the thoughts like sheep in a big, spacious meadow. In such an environment an animal will tend to simply wonder off, find its place in the field and be content. So, when you make your awareness big, you can sit there watching the thoughts without being so bothered by them, and they in turn tend to gradually return to equilibrium, without you having to work that hard to control or fix them.

The movement from tactics, and making room for your ‘Big Why’

When your experience of your mind is of the ‘rats in the bag’ type, it is difficult to keep perspective. Everything that you are doing tends to be tactical, small picture, just dealing with what is right in front of you. When you practice the ‘sheep in the meadow’ form of awareness, you can keep things more in perspective. You can ‘choose your battles’. You can keep your attention on your ‘bigger Why’s’, accepting the small obstacles that you encounter on the way toward your broader goals.

Enjoy the meadow!

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindful resilience, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, Zen

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The swinging door – when the breathing does itself

Post author By Toby
Post date January 27, 2026

“Rather than trying to focus on your breathing, simply try & experience the breathing doing itself, just BE the breathing. This often results in better focus, without having to try so hard.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

How much will power do you need to exert in meditation, and in life? This week’s article explores what happens when you take your ‘I’ out of your efforts to meditate, and instead let it ‘do itself’.

If you enjoy the article, we will be exploring these subjects in both the weekday (Tues&Weds) and Saturday sessions this week.

In the spirit of the singing door,

Toby

The swinging door – when the breathing does itself

“What we call ‘I’ is just a swinging door that moves when we inhale and when we exhale” – Shunryu Suzuki, from Zen Mind, Beginners Mind

Making your meditation focus more ergonomic

When we try and focus in meditation, or in a daily task, often we try in a particular way, where the feeling is ‘I’ am trying to focus on ‘it’. So as the ‘I’ in meditation we exert effort to focus on the breathing and cut out distractions as an act of will.
You can try an interesting experiment; rather than trying to focus on your breathing, simply try and experience the breathing doing itself, just BE the breathing. You can be the breathing doing itself, or, alternatively ‘do’ the breathing doing itself. The proposition here is that our ‘I’ or the idea of our I is actually surplus to requirements, unnecessary. A side effect of this is that you may find that your attention to the breathing starts to become free-er, more relaxed, effortless. You find your focus becomes better quality, but you don’t have to try so hard.

The breathing as a swinging door

In Zen meditation the image of a swinging door is used; you focus on your breathing in the throat as if it were a swinging door; swinging in as you inhale, out as you exhale. With the technique of the breathing doing itself, you simply watch that swing in and swing out, attuning to the rhythm and as far as feels possible leaving your I out of the equation. Put another way you could relate to your ‘I’ as being nothing more than the swing-door of the breath.

Bringing your inner and outer worlds together

Continuing with the Zen image, you can then imagine the breath flowing from your outer world to your inner world as you breathe in, and from your inner world to your outer world as you breathe out. You can then develop this in the way described by Shunryu Suzuki in the same passage as the first quote at the top of the article:

“The inner world is limitless, and the outer world is also limitless. We say “inner world” and outer world,” but in reality there is just one whole world, our throat is like a swinging door. The air comes in and goes out like someone passing through a swinging door. If you think “I breathe,” the I is extra.”

Using the breathing in this way we can go from the breath moving from our “inner” to out “outer” world and back again, to simply the movement of the breath to and from a single world, a unified world. It is just the movement of the breath in a unified world, in a state of one-ness with the world, with no “I” necessary.

A heart union

I also like to do this practice down at the heart level. At the heart level we connect with our feeling nature, so the meditation takes on a more emotive dimension when I go down there. As I breathe in, I feel a soft light and energy expanding out into the world, as I breathe in I feel the light and life from the outer world flowing back into my heart. This then simply becomes the one-world, the one being expanding and contacting as I breathe. You can try it and see if you like it, or work with the traditional Zen techniques outlined above.

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Tags beginners mind, inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

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Foundational beginners mind/energy resilience practice with guided meditation

Post author By Toby
Post date January 12, 2026

Dear Integral Meditators,

The Beginners mind, resilient body integral meditation courses start this week!

The article below outlines the basic practices, and links to two guided meditations that you can have a listen to. I’ve been enjoying my own practice preparing for these sessions, you might find participating is just the thing to get your 2026 going from good to great!

In the spirit of new beginnings,

Toby

Foundational beginners mind/energy resilience practice with guided meditation

This article outlines the basic forms of two meditations:

The beginners mind meditation,
and the microcosmic orbit meditation.

These are the two meditations that we will be exploring in the ‘Beginners mind, resilient body’ meditation programs’. There are then two short, 10minute meditations that you can use to get some experience of both practices.

Here are two quotes that communicate something of the essential meaning and benefit of each meditation style.

Beginners mind: “If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything. In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few.” – Shunryu Suzuki from the book ‘Zen mind, beginner’s mind.’

Microcosmic orbit: “When we do not know how to conserve, recycle and transform our internal force, our energy consumption becomes as inefficient as a car that only goes at 5miles per gallon…. By practicing the M-O meditation, we can get in touch with our energy-flow and locate weak spots in its path, so that we can correct them. This helps us to use our life-force more efficiently and achieve better internal ‘milage’.” – Mantak Chia, from the book ‘Awaken healing light.’

Basic descriptions, & guided meditations

With the both basic descriptions, you can see links to more detailed articles embedded. The recording links are at the end of each description.

Beginners mind basic ‘mindful positions:

Position 1: Establishing stable meditation posture & breath, sitting between the two trees, being present, not lost in thought, not falling asleep.
Position 2: Meditating on the two Soto Zen principles:

Sitting meditation and awakening are not two different things
One must not wait for awakening

Position 3: Recognizing each moment as a new beginning

Practice the 10minute beginners mind meditation with the recording

Microcosmic orbit basic mindful positions

Position 1: Connecting to our light body, or energy body,
Position 2: Visualizing the microcosmic orbit within our energy body
Position 3: Practicing circulating energy within the M-O, up the back & down the front of the body. Noticing areas of the orbit that feel open and areas that feel closed
Position 4: Pausing the flow of the MO, letting the energy go to an area of our body that needs healing or energizing

Practice the 12miute basic microcosmic orbit meditation with the recording.

Initially, you can practice them individually to get a feel for the process. What I like to do, and what I teach in the Beginners mind, resilient body programs, is to then combine them together. So, you can listen to the beginner’s mind first, and then do the microcosmic orbit practice after. You’ll find that:

With a relaxed, open beginners mind, you can open to the energy flow in your body, when you do the microcosmic orbit practice.
When you do the microcosmic orbit practice, this helps to feel alert and balanced which makes your beginners mind more accessible.

You can also put them together in different ways, for example you might do the beginners mind in the morning, and the microcosmic orbit in the evening; not all at once, but doing both in the same day. It’s up to you to find a combination that works for you and your schedule.

An integration recording

Once you have some familiarity with the ten-minute guided meditations above, you can try this:

Beginners mind + Microcosmic orbit 10minute integration form

Enjoy!

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Tues 13^th, Weds 14^th January, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body – a 10-week integral meditation course

Starts Saturday 17^th January, 5.30-6.15pm, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body deep-dive: An 11 -session practice series

Saturday 24th January, 9.00am-12.30pm – Meditation and Mindfulness for Self-Healing and Creating High Levels of Energy

Tags beginners mind, inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, microcosmic orbit meditation, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, resilience meditation

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Your inner voice & tone of presence

Post author By Toby
Post date January 5, 2026

“We often talk to ourself too much, sometimes unskilfully, but it is also possible to talk to little, when we could really do with a voice of support from within”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article is a complementary to my one from a few weeks ago on Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself. Both articles point to some psycho-dynamic mindfulness practices that can have a dramatic empowering effect on your experience!

Before the article are details of the main courses and workshops for January, your welcome to come on the journey of any or all of them!

In the spirit of mindful inner chatter,

Toby

Starts Tues 13^th, Weds 14^th January, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body – a 10-week integral meditation course

Starts Saturday 17^th January, 5.30-6.15pm, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body deep-dive: An 11 -session practice series

In a sentence: Combine the mental agility, flexibility & wisdom of a beginner’s mind with resilient energy levels with these ‘integral cross-training’ meditation course!

Saturday 24th January, 9.00am-12.30pm – Meditation and Mindfulness for Self-Healing and Creating High Levels of Energy

Learn how you can use meditation and mindfulness order to accelerate the healing of a physical health condition, create higher levels of energy in your body and/or break through difficult energy patterns in your physical body that are affecting your mental and emotional wellbeing…read full details

Article: Your inner voice & tone of presence, overactive or not active enough?

This is a complementary article to my one from a few weeks ago on Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself.
Our inner voice accompanies much of our experience, narrating, judging and commenting on our experience, creating and adding to our perception of what we think we are going through…
As well as our tone of voice, there is also what I would call our ‘tone of presence’. This is the mood, atmosphere, and way of being present to ourself as we go through the day. It is distinct from our inner voice in the sense that it is not a voice, but a presence, an energy.

Our inner voice and tone of presence play off each other. A harsh judgment from our inner voice can lead to a sense of energetic or emotional presence that feels oppressive and stifling. Contrastingly, a gentle mood and energy of presence can lead to the expression of an accepting, loving inner voice.

If you reflect on how these two have been interacting within you today, what do you notice or observe?

Ideally, we want a tone of presence and inner voice that are mutually aware and re-enforce each other in ways that are constructive and balanced, promoting a sense of inner wholeness and integrity. However, it is all too easy for them to becoming mutually antagonistic, dividing us against ourselves, and setting up spirals of imbalance and conflict.
Here are some overactive and under active expressions of our voice and tone of presence, as well as their higher and lower expressions.

Overactive inner voice, oppressive tone of presence

In this scenario, we are taking and narrating to ourselves a lot, in a neurotic manner. It’s like sitting next to someone on an aeroplane who just won’t shut up. The underlying tone of presence is accordingly anxious, and characterised by emotions such as fear, anger, blame, regret and so on. This almost always makes what we are going through more difficult. I’m sure you can think of examples from your own experience of this.
When we notice ourself becoming triggered in this way, the direction we want to emphasise is:

A slower, gentler, more compassionate inner voice
A warmer, more inwardly supportive tone of presence

Under active inner voice, absence rather than presence

An under active inner voice is when we could be, should be talking ourself through something in a pro-active, supportive manner. But instead we just ‘go silent’ or ‘freeze’ like a rabbit in the headlights. Our inner voice is absent where it should be talking pro-activelly!
In terms of our tone of presence, this can manifest as a kind of absence, or non-presence. We are trying to escape the discomfort of where we are by being absent energetically, rather than present! Again, you will find it quite easy to find examples from your own experience of this.
Corrections for under activity include:

Waking up and being pro-active with our inner voice, encouraging ourself skilfully and appropriately
Bringing supportive, attentive presence to the situation, being alert to possibilities

Practice points for growing à balanced inner voice, harmonised
presence include:

Get used to watching and being aware of your inner voice and tone of presence
Reducing/recalibrating their impulsiveness, speed and energy where appropriate
Increasing presence and supportive inner chatter where it is needed

What situation in your life can you start practicing around this today?

Related article: Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Tues 13^th, Weds 14^th January, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body – a 10-week integral meditation course

Tags inner conversation, inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, presence, self-talk

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Brightening your brain using your vital energy – Microcosmic orbit meditation

Post author By Toby
Post date December 27, 2025

“Linking your vital energy to your brain function is one of the most effective ways to improve your cognitive function and your overall energy resilience”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores a fundamental ‘energy resilience ‘ practice that I highly recommend becoming familiar with!

In the spirit of resilience,

Toby

Article: Brightening your brain using your vital energy – Microcosmic orbit meditation

Microcosmic orbit meditation is an ‘energy meditation’ that I’ve been using for thirty years or so. It is very simple in essence. In this article I am going to:

Explain a simple microcosmic orbit technique you can get started with
Give examples of how I have been using it to help with my health, mental clarity and energy levels

Your vital or generative energy

Microcosmic orbit meditation uses as its base the sexual, generative, or vital energy that we carry in our lower belly, hips and generative organs. It raises this energy up the back of the body into the brain, enhancing our brain energy, but simultaneously raising the vibration of the vital force. You start then by focusing awareness down to your hips and loins, bringing some warm, friendly, nurturing attention to this area of your body. This can be done over the course of a few breaths, being nurturingly present to your vital energy.

The basic circuit

If you then imagine that there is a loop or circuit of energy, made up of two channels. The first runs from the perineum, to your crown, up the spine into the brain. The second runs down the front of your body. You can imagine it as:

A point of energy in the perineum
The back channel as a tube made of light rising from perineum to the coccyx, up the spine to the base of the skull, then up the back of the head to the crown, down to the third eye between the eyebrows, and down to the upper lip
The frontal channel runs from the lower lip down the front of the chin, neck, chest belly, then down thru the sexual organs back down to the perineum

A simple practicum

So, then a twelve-breath practice that I like to do is as follows:

Three breaths smiling gently and sending friendly awareness to my vital energy down in my lower belly and generative organs
Six breaths where I am focusing on feeling the energy rising up the back of my body as I inhale and exhale, rising into the brain, flowing up to the crown and down to the third eye
Three breaths focusing on the energy flowing down the front channel from my third eye and lips down to my sexual organs again, completing the circuit
Pausing and feeling the flow continue organically

Repeat 1-3 times as a little ‘set’ of microcosmic orbit practice. Part of the point of this practice is to:

Use your vital energy to being energy and clarity to your brain and mind-function
Circulate your vital energy thru-out the whole body to promote overall health and wellbeing
Promote a sense of balance and increased capacity for presence

Examples of when I use this practice during the day include:

As a part of my daily sitting practice, to bring clarity and energy to my meditation
As a short work break to re-set my energy
If I cannot sleep at night as a way of balancing the energy of my body and making it easier to relax

You can see a slightly more detailed description of the meditation technique here:
Meditation on the microcosmic orbit
It’s the sort of practice that builds not just over one or two repetitions, but over extended periods of short, consistent practice. We will be using a number of variations and types of this meditation in the upcoming Wednesday & Saturday series on ‘Beginners mind, resilient body’, as it forms the ‘resilient body’ half of the program.

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Ongoing on Wednesday, 7.30-8.30pm – Going beyond your limitations, tapping into your hidden strengths – Meditating with your bright shadow, a 6-week course

Tuesday 30th December, 7.30-8.30pm, SG time – 2026 New year ‘Beginners mind’ meditation (Free, online only)

Tues 13^th, Weds 14^th January, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body – a 10-week integral meditation course

Tags energy meditation, inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

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Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself

Post author By Toby
Post date December 15, 2025

“The most important conversations you are having are the inner ones that you are having with yourself. Has what you have been saying today inwardly helped or hindered you?”

Dear Toby,

This week’s article looks at the inner conversation that we all have with ourselves, and how to start working with it mindfully…

A couple of free seasonal meditations coming up, the Winter solstice & new year online sessions, you are all invited!

In the spirit of self-talk,

Toby

Article: Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself

Most of the time you are talking to yourself

For almost all people, there is an internal conversation we are having with ourself all the time. It is probably the most important conversation you are having because:

As mentioned, it is going on almost all the time, whether someone else is around or not
If it is working for you, it can be an almost constant source of support, encouragement, and resilience
If it is working against you, it is an almost constant source of discouragement, conflict, and weakness
You can’t escape it by running away. Unlike other people, the voice follows you wherever you go!

Noticing the conversation & making adjustments

Step one then could be to recognize the inner conversation and acknowledge its importance. This can then be a motivator to start working with it. To start working with it, we need to start to watch it and notice what’s going on as we talk to ourselves!
As in all mindfulness practice just becoming aware of it, and starting to study it as an object of consciousness can be profoundly transformative. Based on your observation, you can then practice making small, skilful interventions in the conversation that make it more balanced and useful for you. For example, there is a tremendous difference between
“You’ve just wasted half an hour procrastinating, you idiot, why do you always do that”
And:
“Its normal for me to take half an hour or so to settle into my work, lets see if I can make it just twenty minutes today!”
It’s not rocket science, but it can make a big impact, particularly if we do it regularly, and start to get the compound effect going!

Learning to suspend the conversation

Part of the joy of meditation of course, is to learn that you can actually switch the conversation off, what a relief! Ways to begin the conversation suspension include:

Watching the spaces between the words in your inner conversation, dropping into them and gradually extending them
Placing short pauses between your inbreath and out breath, practising suspending the conversation just for those pauses

Exercises such as there help to build familiarity with the state of silence, even when our mind is still quite active

Being pro-active about the conversation

A final method that I can’t recommend highly enough is to activate your ‘inner life-coach’. This means you are taking charge of your inner conversation and saying things to yourself that are encouraging, supportive, balanced, and wise as you go through your day. Being pro-active about this conversation when I play sport is the single best and most consistent tool I have found to bring my best performance out. But, and more importantly, if life is the sport, and today, right now is ‘game day,’ then the time to activate this capacity within yourself is now!
Sometimes it may feel like being pro-active like this takes a lot of work. But then its a lot more work living with a miserable, oppressive inner voice. So you may as well engage in the inner work that is taking you somewhere, rather than just being miserable and running round in circles!

Practicum

Set aside time to watch your inner conversation with a degree of curious objectivity
Practice making small skilful interventions
Practice ceasing the conversation for short periods
Cultivate your ‘inner life-coach’!

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindful self-talk, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

A Mind of Ease Concentration creative imagery Energy Meditation meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

Squares & triangles – Mindful strengths building

Post author By Toby
Post date November 22, 2025

“Once you know how to breathe in squares and triangles, you can create your own mindful flow practices to build the qualities & capacities that you wish”

Dear Toby,

This week’s article looks at a practice I have evolved over the years, designed to enable creativity within a basic, consistent structure. Enjoy!

Last call for this Saturday 22nd Nov, 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

In the spirit of building strength,

Toby

Squares and triangles – Mindful strengths building

Square and triangular breathing, the basic concepts

Square and triangular breathing are methods where you combine your inhalation and exhalation with short pauses. The practice of pausing your breath in itself offers benefits such as:

calming the nervous system, improving focus, and enhancing emotional regulation
increasing the amount of carbon dioxide in the blood, which reduces the excitability of the amygdala (the brain’s fear center) and promotes a sense of calm
greater control over the breathing process, which can lead to increased mental clarity, resilience, and better decision-making

Square breathing is where we place a short pause both at the top and the bottom of the breath. A well-known form of this is called box-breathing where you breathe in, pause, breathe out and pause at the bottom of the exhalation, each for a count of four, hence ‘breathing in a box’, or square.

With triangular breathing there is just one pause, at the bottom of the breath, hence three stages or ‘sides’ like a triangle.

To use these breathing forms for strengths building, we simply combine the breathing with qualities, or states of mind to build them as we breathe. For example in my Wednesday class last week we began by practising breathing in a square in the following manner to cultivate mindful flow and presence:

Breathing in, gathering and focusing our energy in our body
Pause, being focused and present
Breathing out, relaxing our body, relaxing into the present moment
Pause, holding a state of relaxed presence

We practiced with sets of three square breaths like this, with pauses in between just to enjoy the sense of being in state of focused, relaxed presence. Focused, relaxed presence are foundational strengths for building competence in meditation and mindfulness. In this practice we used square breathing to build these strengths systematically.

In the Saturday class last week, we opened with a triangular breathing form, where:

As we breathed in, we opened to a state of adventurousness
Breathing out, dropping into a state of calm
Pausing at the bottom of the breath, relaxing in a state of calm adventurousness

Adventurousness and calm are qualities we can use to meet our challenges and opportunities in such a way that we enjoy them where possible, and also navigate them with calm strength. The triangular breathing provides a structure to cultivate these qualities deliberately in a structured way.

Once you know how to breathe in squares and triangles, you can create your own mindful flow practices to build the qualities and capacities that you wish to develop in our life and work. I like to combine qualities together into polarities that balance and complement each other. From the above examples you can see:

Relaxed and focused
Adventurous calm

There are many, many variations that I have used over the years:

Engaged detachment
Humble self-assertion
Gentle courage
Serious lightness

And so on…

The great thing about meditating with squares and triangles is that you have one technique, with many variations. So, you can create variety and stimulation in your practice, whilst at the same time keeping it basically consistent and ‘the same’.

Related reading:
Using mindful flow to train in strengths-building
Adventuring with attention (What is a Meditator?)
Meditation wings – Five foundational meditation polarities

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Starts Tuesday 11^th & 12^th November, 7.30-8.30pm – Going beyond your limitations, tapping into your hidden strengths – Meditating with your bright shadow, a 6-week course

Starts Saturday 15th November, 5.30-6.15pm SG time – Bright shadow meditation Deep-dive – A 5 session practice series

21 Nov & 28th Nov, 8am-12pm – The wisdom of Zen meditation practice retreat & course, levels 1&2

Saturday 22nd November, 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Saturday 29th November, 7-9pm – Living Life From Your Inner Center – Meditations for Going With the Flow of the Present Moment

Saturday 13th December, 9am-12.30pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence half day workshop

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindful strengths building, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Awareness Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Presence and being present Shadow meditation Stress Transformation

Change your idea, change yourself – Working creatively with your self-concept

Post author By Toby
Post date November 5, 2025

“We can learn to relate creatively to our self-concept in a way that opens doors, rather than closes them. The older we get, the more important this creative capacity becomes”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article explores a creative & psycho-dynamic meditation form. The stages of it form the basis of my upcoming weekday & Saturday series on ‘how to work with your bright shadow’. If you enjoy the article, then do consider attending one program, or even both of them!

In the spirit of opening to possibilities,

Toby

Change your idea, change yourself – (Five stages to) Working creatively with your self-concept

By the time you get to adulthood, your dominant sense of self, at least for most people, is an idea. This idea is called your ‘self-concept.’ It is a dynamic collection of conditioned beliefs, assimilated past experiences, habitual emotional states, absorbed philosophies, learned behaviour and so on that you identify as ‘me’.

“I am an extrovert”/introvert
“I am an Asian/European/African and therefore I can/can’t….”
“I’m an optimist/pessimist”
“I am good at/not good at…”

You get the idea. Your self-concept is just an idea of who you are, but it is an idea that you are completely or at least very closely identified with. It defines most of how you turn up, how you behave and what you feel yourself to be capable of.
Furthermore, your self-concept has two parts, conscious and unconscious. The conscious part of yourself concept is your self-image. The unconscious part is the part that is not acceptable to your self-image, and that you repress and reject. Any part of your self-concept that you don’t like or feel threatened by, you can push into your unconscious, where it becomes a part of your shadow, or dis-owned self.

What I outline below is a way of working creatively with your self-concept, to open possibilities, rather than close them. By doing so it becomes possible to relate to our idea of ourself in a way that opens doors, rather than closes them particularly, but not only as we find ourselves getting older.

For this work, it is a good idea to take a specific area of your life and self-concept, bearing it in mind as you work your way though the five stages below…

Step one, observing – noticing the narrative, conceptual and non-conceptual

Firstly, take the position of the observer in your field of awareness, and practice, observing, listening to and accepting this part of your self-concept, and your close identification with it. For example, if you are taking your idea of self-as-parent:

Notice the commentary within you about what a parent should or shouldn’t be, and how you are measuring up
Observe the emotional range coming up within you, and your judgements about those emotions
Accept whatever arises as fully as you can

At this stage I find working on accepting and observing with the qualities of curiosity, courage and care to be particularly useful.

Step two, dis-identifying – dropping the labels, badges, and roles

Secondly, practice putting down, or dis-identifying with all the labels, roles and badges that are involved in this part or aspect of your self-concept. Practice becoming a man or woman. A person of no-rank, no position in life. Practice just being a being, and enjoying the freedom of that space.

Step three, imagining – exploring new ideas of self-in-role

From your position as a person of no-rank, explore new ideas, and possibilities of yourself in the role you are working on (parenting, romantic partner, professional, etc…). Connect to new ideas and possibilities that you might integrate into this area of yourself in this role.

Step four encountering – meeting and communicating with your new self

Visualize the self that you have imagined in step three as a person in front of you. S/he looks very much like you, but embodies the qualities that you have been imagining. As you see this person in front of you, invite a communication. Ask them a question such as:

What are you asking of me right now?
How can I integrate you more fully into my daily life?
What is your perspective on this situation/problem that I am facing right now??

Have a chat and see what transpires!

Step five role-playing – developing yourself in your new role

Imagine the ‘self’ in front of you steps toward you. Imagine you step toward them. Another step and you step into each other, and merge. Experience yourself AS this newly imagined self, BE them.

Once you have finished the meditation, work on role-playing this new self into your daily life. Meet your challenges AS them, particularly with regard to the specific roles you identified in step 2 above.

Related articles: Why we may repress our strengths – six reasons
The bright shadow, the one who can do what you cannot do

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing Tuesday & Weds September, 7.30-8.30pm, – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Ongoing Saturdays 5.30-6.15pm – Zen meditation Deep-dive – A 10 session practice series

Saturday 25th October, 9am-12.30pm – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self

Starts Tuesday 11^th & 12^th November, 7.30-8.30pm – Going beyond your limitations, tapping into your hidden strengths – Meditating with your bright shadow, a 6-week course

Starts Saturday 5.30-6.15pm SG time – Bright shadow meditation Deep-dive – A 5 session practice series

21 Nov & 28th Nov, 8am-12pm – The wisdom of Zen meditation practice retreat & course, levels 1&2

Saturday 22nd November, 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Saturday 29th November, 7-9pm – Living Life From Your Inner Center – Meditations for Going With the Flow of the Present Moment

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, self-concept, shadow meditation

A Mind of Ease Awareness and insight Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present Zen Meditation

Finding inner space within your mind by focusing on outer spaces

Post author By Toby
Post date October 13, 2025

“Normally, when we walk into a room, it is the objects in the room that we notice, when by far the biggest element in the room is the space, and the light or darkness in it”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s newsletter features an article I wrote originally all the way back in 2010 which I have updated. If you enjoy it, it will be a part of the focus for this week’s Tues/Weds or Saturday Zen meditations.

In the spirit of inner space,

Toby

PS: Final shout out of this Friday morning’s The wisdom of Zen meditation practice retreat & course

Finding inner space within your mind by focusing on outer spaces

An ongoing motivation for both beginners’ starting meditation and those who are more experienced practitioners is the need to create and preserve a sense of space within our mind which we can relax into and use to keep the rest of our busy lives in perspective.
One technique I use regularly that I find creates a sense of inner space very quickly is to focus on an awareness of the outer spaces that exist in our physical environment. The mind basically becomes like what it focuses upon, so when you focus on an outer physical space, this in turn quite naturally starts to give rise to a sense of an inner space within our mind. Here is one example of a way in which you can do this:

Making your mind BIG

We have been using this technique recently in the class I facilitate. Once you have sat down in a comfortable posture, become aware of the sky and stars up above you and the earth beneath you, allow your awareness to become big and open like the sky above you, and vast solid and stable like the Earth beneath you.
After you have done this, extend your mind horizontally around you, out to the horizon of the land, to the north, east, south and west. Extend your awareness as far out as you can to feel the curve of the Earth’s surface all about you. Now you have a sense of your mind as being BIG, and spacious, taking in the vast physical spaces all around you.
Stay with this feeling for as long as you like, let yourself relax as much as possible into your sense of the big space all around you; above, below, and extending out into the for directions of the horizontal/horizonal plane.
If you do this for a while, you will find quite quickly that a sense of inner space and calm arises within your mind. By focusing on the big space outside, you start to feel the big space inside!

Smaller space focus

You can also do the above exercise in a similar way but with a much smaller space, such as the room that you might be sitting in. Normally, when we walk into a room, it is the objects in the room that we notice, when by far the biggest element in the room is the space in the room, and the light or darkness in it. We can make our mind much more spacious in a short period of time by relaxing into an awareness of the outer space of the room, and let it create a corresponding sense of inner space within us.

A final point here is that I have found that this meditation helps ANY problem that I may be facing and that I am concerned about. When your mind feels big, then problems seem much more manageable. In a small mind consumed by itself and its own challenges, even small issues can take on a distorted life of their own!

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com