Tag: integral meditation

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Is meditation difficult or easy?

Post author By Toby
Post date October 13, 2021

Dear Integral Meditators,

Should you expect meditation to be difficult or easy? In my article below I outline a away of understanding meditation why it could be considered to be both difficult and easy, and also neither. It also shows how you can make meditation something that is not separate from your daily activities and experience.
Last call for this weekends Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing. Also, heads up for next weeks Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session on Tuesday & Wednesday evenings.

In the spirit of energy,

Toby

Is meditation difficult or easy?

Meditation – the point between relaxation & focus, concepts & inertia
There are many different ways of practising meditation, what I want to explain in this article is the space that meditation occupies. If we can identify it clearly, then we can start to see the commonality of different meditation practices despite their differences. This in turn makes it easier for us to start to put together combinations of different meditations together in an integrated, complementary manner, without feeling they are contradicting each other.
Focus and relaxation – All meditation states involve a combination of focus and relaxation. In order for our attention to settle on something, we need to be relaxed enough and focused enough. Too much focus leads to the tension of over-exertion, whilst too much relaxation leads to our attention wandering away anyhow.
Conceptualization and inertia – Meditation occupies a space where we are experiencing something, and we are aware of that experience. If we start to conceptualize or think, our mind moves away from direct experiencing, getting lost in thought, and in the world of ‘past’ and future’. If we start to fall asleep (inertia), our mind also loses its grip on the awareness of its experience in the moment, and away from meditation.

Both difficult and easy?

So, from this point of view then, meditation seems simple. If I want to meditate on my body, I just need to pay attention to the sensation of my body, and be aware of that experience. If I do that, I can say I am in a state of awakened meditation in the moment. If you try that, then you also start to see that although the injunction is simple, it is not always so easy to do. Our attention keeps veering towards thinking on the one hand, and sleep on the other, toward trying too hard and over focusing, and relaxing too much. This simultaneous difficult-ness and easiness is captured quite well in the story of Layman Pang, as Zen Master living in the 8^th century, and his wife and daughter, who were also realized masters:

Laymen Pang complained: “How difficult it is! How difficult it is! My meditation is like drying the fibers of ten thousand pounds of flax by hanging them in the sun.”
His wife replied: “Easy, easy, easy. It’s like touching your feet to the ground when you get out of bed. I have found the teaching right in the tops of flowering plants.”
His daughter, Ling-chao, hearing both outbursts, showed them the truth: “My meditation is neither difficult nor easy. When I am hungry I eat. When I am tired I rest.”

You can practice meditation right now simple by pausing from what you are doing, and becoming aware of what you are experiencing in the moment. That’s meditation. If you can sustain that awareness, then to that degree you spend more and more of your time in an awakened state. But that’s not easy. But it’s not difficult either, and the next step is always the one in front of you. Hence Ling-Chao’s classic Zen quote above “When I am hungry I eat. When I am tired I rest.”

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday October 16th & 23^rd – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

In a sentence: Learn unique Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and improve your meditation.

Overview: According to the ancient Chinese view, the vital force provided by air through breathing is even more important to health and longevity than that provided by food and water through digestion. The way in which we breathe is also a direct reflection of the levels of stress that we are feeling; when we feel calm our breathing becomes deep and regular, when we feel stress our breathing becomes shallower and quicker…read full details

Tues 19th & Weds 20th October – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

About the meditation: We all live our life within an environment that consists fundamentally/experientially of the Earth, Moon, Sun and Stars. The monthly lunar cycle describes our relationship to the Moon, and the powerful influence that it has on our life. In the physical world we see this influence most obviously in the tides of the sea. In our inner life we experience it as the coming and going of energy, moods and emotions within our psyche. This meditation, done on or around the full moon capitalises on the heightened lunar energies at this time of the month to…read full details

Starts Monday October 25th – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

How can you move from coping to thriving in your life as a man?

Much is asked of men in their traditional roles as fathers and sons, partners and husbands, students and teachers, employees and employers. The men’s group is a professionally moderated and confidential forum for men. A forum is a safe place for exploring, learning and sharing the successful perspectives, skills, and strategies needed to address and manage the unique issues, problems, and triumphs in our community…read full details

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Samhain (Aka All hallows eve, or Halloween) is the time in the northern hemisphere when we enter the darker months of the year & winter. Traditionally it is said to be the time when the veil between the world of the living and the inner world of our ancestors is said to be thinnest. Consequently, it is an ideal time for us to commune with our ancestors in meditation…read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Life Coaching and Meditation coaching 3-6month packages are on a 15% offer up until Weds 20th October. If getting some coaching is an idea you have been contemplating, then this is a good opportunity to get it and save some money on the price.

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Begins Tues 14/Weds 15^th September – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

Saturday October 16th & 23^rd, 10am-4pm – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

Starts Monday October 25th – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Friday 5th November 7.30-8.30pm – Online New moon beginners mind, health visualization & envisioning session

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags awareness, integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation in singapore, meditation technique, mindfulness, presence

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Meditating with an energy ball (Drawing energy from the un-manifest)

Post author By Toby
Post date October 11, 2021

Dear integral Meditators,

If you can imagine that, level of consciousness itself there is basically a limitless reserve of energy. One question coming from this might then be “How can I tap into that level in order to experience more energy for myself on the mental and physical level?” The article below explores this question in a practical and experiential manner. If you enjoy it, the technique is one we will be using as part of this weeks Polarity meditation class.
Heads up for this weekends Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing. If you’ve been looking for a really consolidated set of breathing-for-health techniques, this is it!

My Life Coaching and Meditation coaching 3-6month packages are on a 15% offer up until Weds 20th October. If getting some coaching is an idea you have been contemplating, then this is a good opportunity to get it and save some money on the price.

In the spirit of energy,

Toby

Meditating with an energy ball (Drawing energy from the un-manifest)

In many schools of meditation, speaking in simple terms, we work with three levels of mind, consciousness and energy:

The gross physical and sensory
The subtle mental level
The very subtle level of consciousness itself

If you can imagine that, on the third level of consciousness itself there is basically a limitless reserve of energy. One question coming from this might then be “How can I tap into that level in order to experience more energy for myself on the mental and physical level?” The following meditation is one that I have been working with a long time, originally arising from the Qi gong practice that I have had since the 90’s. It’s extremely simple, just requiring a bit of focus and some familiarity. Also helpful is a playful, child-like approach to the visualization. It can be done sitting, standing or lying down.

The meditation
If you are doing this sitting upright, then you can place your hands in your lap, palms facing up, as if they were cupping a ball. You can make the ball football size, or smaller or bigger if you like according to preference. Football size is a good place to start.
Building the ball – Now you need to start to visualize a ball of light sitting in your hands. You can change it up later on, but if you start with just a simple white light, then that works well. Build the image and focus upon it, trying to ‘feel’ it as much as see it.
In the centre of the ball imagine there is a point of light. Imagine it is a point of light through which the energy of universal consciousness can flow out into this world. Imagine light and energy flowing out from this point of light and filling the ball, as if the point of light were a miniature sun.
Feel the ball of light gently pulsing with this energy, and radiate out up through the palms of your hand into your body. You can also feel it radiating out into your body directly through the surface facing your belly and legs. As it does this, you will feel it highlighting areas of your body where there may be energy blockages, heaviness, tension etc… Just let it work with your body’s energy in an organic manner, bringing balance, energy and renewal to your cellular structure.

That’s basically it! It’s a great exercise for

Practising mindfully building images and thought-form
Developing your awareness of subtle energy and how to work with it
Clearing you body of imbalanced energy, particularly anytime you feel that it is out of balance

I use this a lot after facilitating classes or if there has been a heavy day of coaching or socializing, just as a way of processing relatively easily and effortlessly the energy that has been passing though my body-mind in the course of the day’s interaction’s.
You can find a classical Qigong standing version here: Holding your buddha belly

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Last week article: Basic Deep breathing – How to & the benefits

The benefits
Basic deep breathing is a fundamental health and meditation practice, that provides many benefits, here is a little list just to get your appetite for the practice:
According to ancient Taoist view, the vital force provided by air through breathing is even more important to health and longevity than that provided by food and water through digestion. As most spiritual practitioners and meditators are aware, our breathing also links the activity of our consciousness with our body. Deep breathing is a way to…read full article

Stimulate and regulate your glands
Improve metabolism and sleep
Improve the condition of your heart and respiratory system
Promote vitality and open energy channels within your etheric body
From the mental and emotional levels, mastering one’s breathing promotes deeper relaxation, de-stresses ones over stimulated nervous system and gives much more increased mental clarity.
From the spiritual perspective, mastering one’s breathing provides a basis for developing deep concentration and a nurturing connection to one’s soul

The basic technique
Here are some basic pointers for good quality, basic deeper breathing. It may look a little complex when you first read it, but once you have tried it a few times you’ll see its quite easy.

Sitting or standing in an upright position, breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth, or in thru the nose out through the nose
Aim to breathe 5-10% deeper and longer, or 65-70% of your lung capacity
Make the length or inhalation and exhalation either roughly equal, or slightly longer on the exhalation
Start your inhalation by sending the air down to the bottom of your lungs, filling them from the bottom up. Notice movement of the belly when you do this.
Once you have a sense of the start, then focus on expanding the mid-lung/ribcage in the middle part of the inhalation, and notice the slight rising of the collar bone as you fill the clavicles, or top part of the lungs
Make the pace of the inhale and exhale smoothly and even
Option to contract the pelvic floor gently to about 30% of muscle strength during the inhalation, and at the top of the inbreath. Relax pelvic floor as you exhale.
Option to pause briefly at the top of the inbreath, and/or bottom of outbreath. Do not pause so long as you find yourself out of breath!
If you want to emphasize oxygenating the body and building energy, do the breathing a little more strongly. If you want to emphasize the breathing to calm your mind and move toward a meditative state, do it in a quieter, gentler manner.
You can start with short periods of time, such as 3 minutes a day, and build up to longer, though longer does not need to be more than 10mins at a time
You can breathe in ‘sets’ of say six breaths at a time, with short pauses in-between to relax and get a sense of the enjoyable effects of the practice.

Wishing you well in your breathing!

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday October 16th & 23^rd – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

In a sentence: Learn unique Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and improve your meditation.

Starts Monday October 25th – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

How can you move from coping to thriving in your life as a man?

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Begins Tues 14/Weds 15^th September – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

Tues 19th & Weds 20th October – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Saturday October 23^rd, 10am-4pm – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

Starts Monday October 25th – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Friday 5th November 7.30-8.30pm – Online New moon beginners mind, health visualization & envisioning session

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags energy meditation, integral meditation, integral mindfulness, mindfulness, stress transformation

Energy Meditation Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Breathing

Basic Deep breathing – How to & the benefits

Post author By Toby
Post date October 7, 2021

Dear Integral Meditators,

Back in the early 1990’s I took up Taoist deep breathing in response to a crisis of health and energy that I was having in my final year of University. I found it of tremendous benefit in navigating my way out of that crisis without taking a break from my finals, or needing to take time out after graduating. I’ve been using it for both support and enjoyment ever since. The article below explains the benefits and how to get started.

In the spirit of health,

Toby

Basic Deep breathing – How to & the benefits

Stimulate and regulate your glands
Improve metabolism and sleep
Improve the condition of your heart and respiratory system
Promote vitality and open energy channels within your etheric body
From the mental and emotional levels, mastering one’s breathing promotes deeper relaxation, de-stresses ones over stimulated nervous system and gives much more increased mental clarity.
From the spiritual perspective, mastering one’s breathing provides a basis for developing deep concentration and a nurturing connection to one’s soul

Sitting or standing in an upright position, breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth, or in thru the nose out through the nose
Aim to breathe 5-10% deeper and longer, or 65-70% of your lung capacity
Make the length or inhalation and exhalation either roughly equal, or slightly longer on the exhalation
Start your inhalation by sending the air down to the bottom of your lungs, filling them from the bottom up. Notice movement of the belly when you do this.
Once you have a sense of the start, then focus on expanding the mid-lung/ribcage in the middle part of the inhalation, and notice the slight rising of the collar bone as you fill the clavicles, or top part of the lungs
Make the pace of the inhale and exhale smoothly and even
Option to contract the pelvic floor gently to about 30% of muscle strength during the inhalation, and at the top of the inbreath. Relax pelvic floor as you exhale.
Option to pause briefly at the top of the inbreath, and/or bottom of outbreath. Do not pause so long as you find yourself out of breath!
If you want to emphasize oxygenating the body and building energy, do the breathing a little more strongly. If you want to emphasize the breathing to calm your mind and move toward a meditative state, do it in a quieter, gentler manner.
You can start with short periods of time, such as 3 minutes a day, and build up to longer, though longer does not need to be more than 10mins at a time
You can breathe in ‘sets’ of say six breaths at a time, with short pauses in-between to relax and get a sense of the enjoyable effects of the practice.

Wishing you well in your breathing!

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday October 16th & 23^rd – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

In a sentence: Learn unique Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and improve your meditation.

Starts Monday October 25th – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

How can you move from coping to thriving in your life as a man?

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Begins Tues 14/Weds 15^th September – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

Saturday October 23^rd, 10am-4pm – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

Starts Monday October 25th – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags breathing meditation, breathwork, integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore

Awareness and insight creative imagery Integral Awareness Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present

Mastering the cycle of thoughts & emotions

Post author By Toby
Post date September 26, 2021

‘Everyday, for most of the day, your thoughts and emotions are interacting with each other. Your basic sense of wellness or not on the psychological level depends in large part on how you are managing this dependent relationship’

Dear Integral Meditators,

The article below looks at mastery of thoughts and emotions, and how we can start to master the dynamic between them using mindfulness.
If you enjoy the article, them this weeks Tuesday and Wednesday polarity meditation classes will be focused on this subject!
Live attendance is limited to 10pax per class, so advanced booking is necessary if you want to coe live, rather than online.

In the spirit of inner balance,

Toby

Mastering the cycle of thoughts & emotions

Thoughts and emotions – Our basic everyday psychological dynamic
Everyday, for most of the day, your thoughts and emotions are interacting with each other. Your basic sense of wellness or not on the psychological level depends in large part on how you are managing this dependent relationship. So, to begin, start to watch and notice the dependent relationship between thoughts and emotions in your daily life. Also notice that in this cycle are actions and reactions. We think, then we feel, then we do, we experience a reaction to what we do, which creates feeling, that creates thoughts, that creates actions and so on….

Noticing the influence of the body and environment
If you start to watch, you will also notice feeling and instincts from the body affecting this cycle; a balanced body makes it easier to think and emote well, an imbalanced one makes it more difficult. You will also notice that the inverse is also true; you can to a large degree create wellness in the body by thinking and feeling in a balanced way.
Your environment and outer interactions stimulate a lot of thinking and feeling. Again, notice the dependent relationship; you can create outer wellness by balancing your thinking and feeling, or your thinking and feeling can create outer chaos for you!

‘Not letting difficult feelings become negative emotions and thoughts’
This is a principle that I’ve been using a lot recently. You can substantially break the cycle of negative thinking and emoting by accepting, owning and looking after difficult feelings, not letting them provoke further reactions. Yesterday afternoon I was feeling fairly low and despondent, by accepting and looking after the feeling, and focusing on some good thoughts and experiences, I was feeling back to balance and wellness by the early evening. It could have spiralled, but it didn’t because I held to the principle.

Being guided by the higher mind and intentions
Another super practical principal I find works well is to allow my thinking to be guided by higher philosophical principles. For example, if I can hold to and align my thinking around the Platonic principles of the good, the beautiful and the true (another triad is justice, compassion and harmony), then I find my thinking tends to help me navigate out of a bunch or situations that would otherwise create a lot of negativity emotions wise.

The wheel of fortune
Imagine your everyday thinking and feeling as like a wheel spinning around you. You are sitting in the ‘hub’ of the wheel, watching it spin. As you watch, you can choose to occasionally intervene in the dynamic; introducing thoughts and emotions, or letting go of them. As you relax into the process notice how you can:

Maintain balance by simply watching and holding that observational position
Affect the balance by intervening strategically

This is a simple image that can take you a long way in meditation, and bring you experiential mastery of the polarity between your thoughts and feelings.

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Ongoing weekly sessions – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

In a sentence: Learn how to integrate different aspects of yourself and your world into complementary polarities in order to increase your internal harmony, strength and wellbeing

Overview: Polarity meditation is a tradition of meditation that has its precedent in both eastern and western forms of meditation. In the east it is found in Taoist meditation with yin & yang, and in the west within the Tree of Life & Qabalah. In this series we will be focusing on polarities
Read full details…

Saturday October 16th & 23^rd – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

In a sentence: Learn unique Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and improve your meditation.

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Begins Tues 14/Weds 15^th September – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

Saturday 25th September – Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Saturday October 23^rd, 10am-4pm – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags body-mind connection, emotional intelligence, integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, wellness

Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Presence and being present Zen Meditation

Awakening to where you are (Polarity meditation & sitting)

Post author By Toby
Post date September 13, 2021

“Polarity meditation gives us access to immediate, simple states of awakening, whilst at the same time allowing us to work with a wide variety of opposing forces in our life, creating a state of balanced harmony, between them, rather than imbalance and conflict”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Awakening in meditation is very simple, but it s also very complex. This article explores how to connect to a state of immanent simplicity and perfection though meditation.

In the spirit of awakening,

Toby

Awakening to where you are (Polarity meditation & sitting)

Awakening in meditation
To awaken in meditation, certainly from the perspective of Zen meditation, but also implicitly in other forms, involves experiencing what is present for us in the moment, and becoming aware of that experience. I’ll use a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh in his book ‘Zen Keys’ to clarify this:
“Sitting meditation is not to think, reflect or loose ourselves in concepts or discriminations. It is also not to remain immobile, like a stone or the trunk of a tree”
How can we avoid two extremes of conceptualization and inertia? By dwelling in the present moment, right in the midst of our experience, under the lamp of mindfulness. Direct experience and awareness of direct experience are the ways to avoid these extremes. These words may seem complicated, but the experience itself is quite straightforward”
According to this understanding of meditation, to become awakened, or to awaken to our own Buddha nature in the moment is not something that we need to wait for. Rather it is something that we just need to recognize, and then rest in that recognition. Again from the book ‘Zen Keys’, the five principles of Soto Zen sitting meditation can help elaborate on this point:

The five meditation principles of Soto Zen ((Ts’ao T’ung Zen sect)

Sitting meditation, even without a subject of meditation, is enough
Sitting meditation and awakening are not two different things
One must not wait for awakening
There is no awakening to attain
The mind and body are one

Different types of awakening, and awakening in the place you are
So, from one point of view, all forms of awakening are the same in the sense that they are awakening to the experience of the moment. But from another point of view, there are many different kinds of awakening according to the context. In polarity meditation the awakening occurs the point of balance, or harmony between two poles or opposites. Since there are many different types of polarized energy in our life, there are many different points of balance that we can awaken within. Here is one example to help illustrate this based on our physical body’s polarities:

Awakening to your body’s vertical centre: Sitting up, imagine your body’s vertical centre as a line of light/energy going from the crown of your head down to your perineum.

With small movements, rock your body from side to side, feeling the left and right halves of your body coming into balance either side of your bodies vertical core
Then rock your body forward and back with small movements. Feel the front and back halves of your body coming into balance around your vertical core
Then sit quietly and be aware of the sense of balance arising from the left and right, front and back halves of you body coming into balance with each other
Staying with this experience, simple move into a state of awakened presence around the feeling of balance in your body

This is one simple fundamental polarity meditation form that you can go deeply into.

There are a huge number of different ‘balance points’ that we can explore and awaken to for example:

Between our experience of calmness and excitement
Between resilience and vulnerability
Between seriousness and playfulness
Between our inner and outer life
Between ambition and humility

Polarity meditation gives us access to immediate, simple states of awakening, whilst at the same time allowing us to work with a wide variety of opposing forces in our life, creating a state of balanced harmony, between them, rather than imbalance and conflict.

There are a thousand ways to wake up in meditation, all of them are different, and all of them are the same!

Watch Toby talking about Integral Polarity Meditation:

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Begins Tues 14/Weds 15^th September – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

In a sentence: Learn how to integrate different aspects of yourself and your world into complementary polarities in order to increase your internal harmony, strength and wellbeing

Tues & Weds 21st & 22nd September – Autumn equinox balancing & renewing meditation (Live & online)
The Autumn Equinox in the northern hemisphere marks the mid-point between the warmer, lighter seasons of the year and the cooler, darker ones. The forces of day and night, light and dark are of equal strength. As such it is a great time to emphasize balance and harmony, both in our life and meditation practice….read full details

Saturday 25th September – Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Masterclass & Mini-retreat
One sentence summary: Learn how to understand, re-direct and make use of stress, anxiety and difficult emotions through mindfulness and meditation
Overview: Stress, anxiety, fear, anger, attachment – Ordinarily we see these states of mind and emotion as negative; things that get in the way of our happiness and wellbeing, and prevent us from achieving the goals and quality of life that we would like.
But what if there was a way in which we could learn to work with these negative and difficult energies in such a way that we could transform and redirect them, making them sources of positive and empowering energy?…Read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Tues 14/Weds 15^th September – Introduction to Integral Polarity Meditation – The Path of the Middle Way

Begins Tues 14/Weds 15^th September – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

Tues & Weds 21st & 22nd September – Autumn equinox balancing & renewing meditation (Live & online)

Saturday 25th September – Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, Zen meditation

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Dynamic Calm – Working with koans

Post author By Toby
Post date August 30, 2021

“The main point about a koan is that it is a dynamic and experiential way to break through you overactive, anxious conceptual mind into a direct, non-thinking experience of awareness itself.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

My Tuesday & Wednesday classes this week explore the Zen koan. If you enjoy the article below, then feel free to join us, live or online!

In the spirit of dynamic peace,

Toby

Dynamic peace – The Zen Koan

Defining the Koan

The Zen koan is a device traditionally employed by a Zen Master in order to help the disciple let go of his or her over dependence upon their conceptual mind, and to help them to engage with their reality in a direct and non-conceptual manner. It also serves to awaken the disciple to their intuitive, creative and/or awakened mind. The koan can take the form of a saying, a story, a conversation or an action.

Three examples of Zen Koans

Firstly, here is one of the most famous:
‘What is the expression of your face before you were born’
Koans are not designed to be explored like a crossword puzzle, and there is no neat and tidy conceptual answer to them. There are however meanings that we can see within them that could be expressed in a conceptual manner. For example, ‘Your face before you were born’ encourages us to look deeply at what we really consider to be our true face, is it this physical form? Is it our psychological profile or personality? Or is our original face the radiance of our consciousness that lies prior to thought, feeling or physical form?

Second example, the story of Bodhidharma, the founder of Chan and Zen Buddhism’s journey from India to China, and his meeting of the Chinese Emperor:
“Upon seeing the greeting party that had been arranged for him, and hearing the Chinese Emperor begin to engage in a long and somewhat pompous speech, Bodhidharma took of one of his shoes, and placed it upon his head!”
As the emperor engages in his speech, Bodhidharma does something to short-circuit the flow of conceptual activity, and bring us right back into the moment through his unconventional activity. Perhaps something you can try with one of your more boring and pompous uncles or Aunts at Christmas, New Year or Deepavali(!)

Another favorite of mine is taken from a Zen Poem by a musician called Deuter (originally attributed to Ikku):
‘The body cannot become the Buddha, the mind cannot become the Buddha, only what cannot become the Buddha can become the Buddha.’

Two creative examples
Recently, I created two Koan-like images for my Zen class students, the image of a broken-arrow as a koan for aimlessness, and a sign with nothing on it for the meditation practice of signlessness.

A path to dynamic peace
The main point about a koan is that it is a dynamic and experiential way to break through you overactive, anxious conceptual mind into a direct, non-thinking experience of awareness itself. Within this direct awareness we find peace, calm, and a doorway to the awakened state, not sometime in the future, but right here and now.

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Integral Mindfulness & Meditation Online Program with Toby September ’21-March ’22

Start date: Wednesday 8^th September

Early Bird offer until Thursday 2^nd September, $50 off (see pricing below)

This is a 24week, online integral mindfulness and meditation program. Each week a 45minute class and mindfulness session recording will be sent to you. You can then listen to it in at a time that is convenient for you. The recording will be accompanied by reading material and short articles.

In the sessions you will learn a multitude of practical mindfulness skills and capabilities that you can integrate into your daily life and personal practice. Included are breathing techniques, flow methods, ways of developing your emotional and cognitive intelligence, building concentration and focus and many more. You can see a complete list of the subjects covered below.

Listen to Toby introducing the Program:

Complete list of course sessions:

How to build mindful flow
Integrating mindfulness of the body and breathing (Integral body-mind scanning)
How to practice unstructured mindfulness – Turning and facing
Building concentration in an age of distraction
Building benevolence and goodwill toward yourself and others
On Compassion, and how to create your own meditation objects
On non-judgmental Awareness, and making better judgments
Overcoming distractions, and even using them as aids to meditation
Natural breathing and wave breathing forms
On bare attention and witnessing
Letting come letting go, going with the flow
Resting in safety and thriving wisely on risk
Meditation as a positive mindfulness game
On being mindful of emotions
How to balance thinking with feeling
How to think less and think well (Think better or don’t think)
Finding the hub of the wheel of your mind
Connecting to natural happiness
Mindfulness of the present and non-present moment
How to transform frustrations into motivation
Becoming a man or woman of no rank
The Yin and yang of mindful thinking
Choiceless awareness and making conscious choices
Balancing knowledge with wisdom (Balancing accumulating and letting go)

The cost of the program: Early-Bird up until Thursday 2^nd September, save $50! SGD$470 (Price goes up to $520 after that).

To make payment: If in Singapore you can use PayNow on +65 96750279, or if you are abroad you can use the Paypal link HERE.

The Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program

This is eight-month coaching program with Toby is designed to facilitate your own personal mindful self-discovery process. It focuses on:

Awareness of how your past experience has influenced who and how you are today
Confidence in approaching your present experience with playful fullness and enthusiasm
Giving you the inner tools to face your choices and your future in an empowered, dynamic, and authentic manner. Read full details

Watch Toby’s video on the Program

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Starts 6th&7th July – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Starts Wednesday September 8th – The Integral Mindfulness & Meditation Online Program with Toby September ’21-March ’22

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, Zen koan

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Zen Mountains, Zen Doorways

Post author By Toby
Post date July 27, 2021

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article outlines two simple meditation techniques. ‘Zen mountain’ is a sitting form that I have been using in the recent Zen series as a basic practice.

In the spirit of mountains and doorways,

Toby

Zen mountains, Zen doorways

This article outlines two simple meditation techniques. ‘Zen mountain’ is a sitting form that I have been using in the recent Zen series as a basic practice. ‘Zen doorways’ is a method to use in daily life to increase your sense of presence, and appreciation for what is available to you in each moment.

Sitting like a mountain
Sink your centre or gravity down into the belly & hips – Sitting comfortably with a straight back, as you breathe in, be aware of any tension in the upper body; head, face, neck, shoulders. As you breathe out, release the tension down into your belly and hips, so that you are lowering the centre of gravity in your torso down into your belly.

Breathe from the bottom of your lungs, focus on your belly – As you begin your inhalation, send the air down into the bottom of the lungs, so that you are filling them from the bottom up. If you do this you will notice the belly moving out a centimeter or two as you inhale, and moving back to resting position as you exhale.

Imagine your body like a mountain, broad at the hips and narrow at the top – Feel your torso to be tremendously stable and solid. If you like you can even imagine your body as a mountain that you know, so that you really get a feeling of it being like a mountain. If you want to take the image a stage further, imagine your belly as a cave in the heart of the mountain as you feel it moving.
Let your mind gradually settle as you focus your attention on your belly-breathing and mountain-like body.

Zen doorways
Each time you walk through a doorway, take breath, and breathe yourself into the present moment, with an appreciation of what the present moment is offering you at that particular time.
Another nice variation on this is, each time you pass through a doorway, imagine that you are in your Zen retreat, say, passing under the branch of a tree, stepping on pine needles, or through the temple doorway. This way every time you go thru a door, you take yourself back to the Spirit of Zen using your creative imagination.

Related article: Body-Mountain, Cloud-Thought, Sky-Mind

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

August 5th, 6th, 7th, 2-4pm – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three day course

These sessions are specifically designed to help teens develop their real inner skills that help them be:

More effective at achieving their chosen goals
Build confidence,
Build resilience around stress and
Increase their capacity for fun and enjoyment as they learn.

Read full details…

The new Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program

This is eight-month coaching program with Toby is designed to facilitate your own personal mindful self-discovery process. It focuses on:

Awareness of how your past experience has influenced who and how you are today
Confidence in approaching your present experience with playful fullness and enthusiasm
Giving you the inner tools to face your choices and your future in an empowered, dynamic, and authentic manner

Read full details

Watch Toby’s video on the Program

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Starts 6th&7th July – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Saturday 17th, 24th, 31st July, 2-4pm – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three week course

August details coming soon!

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation class, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness class, mindfulness in Singapore, Zen, Zen meditation

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Four Types of Present Moment

Post author By Toby
Post date July 21, 2021

“Drop your sense of time temporarily, become like a tree or a rock or a baby, with awareness that has forgotten all sense of time and abides in the peaceful space of the pre-present”

Dear Integral Meditators,

What if I told you there were four types of present moment, not just one? This weeks article explores four aspects of the present moment, each of which has its own value.

In the spirit of the journey,

Toby

Four Types of Present Moment

Normally when we think or talk about meditating “in the present moment” the assumption is that there is only one type of present moment. Actually, there are many types of present moment experience we can tap into. Here are four. With each one I detail what it is, how it helps us, and how to do a simple meditation upon it.

The Primal Pre-Present

The pre-present is essentially the “present moment” before we had any idea of time. We could also think about it as being the “pre-conceptual present”. Babies are always in the pre-present moment, because their minds have not developed the power of conceptuality, they have no idea of what the past or future is. Their mind remains placed firmly in the here and now, before time existed!

Likewise, animals live in the pre-present because they have non-conceptual minds. Trees and rocks also abide in the pre-present, the time before concepts and before the past and future.

Meditating on the pre-present enables us to relax, return to a state of innocent awareness, and tap into a state of deep regeneration and re-energization.

You can meditate on the pre-present simply by deeply observing a (peaceful) baby, or an animal, or sitting quietly in a landscape. Just drop your sense of time temporarily, become like a tree or a rock or a baby, with awareness that has forgotten all sense of time and abides in the peaceful space of the pre-present.

The Present Moment in Time

This is the type of present moment that we most often think of as the present moment. Our experience that is in the here and now, accompanied by the feeling of there being a past from which we have come, and a future toward which we are going. We cultivate this type of present moment experience by paying close attention to what is going on right now, on the immediate task at hand. Cultivating this form of present moment awareness helps us to be more grounded, to manage stress more effectively, and appreciate all that is good in our life.

You cultivate this form of present moment awareness by spending specific periods of time in our daily routine where trying to do just one thing, and whilst doing it, training our mind to be fully present to the task at hand, not wondering anxiously about the future or re-living the past.

The Timeless Present

The timeless present is the space of awareness beyond time. Once we have become conceptually mature as adults, that is learned to operate within the space of past, present and future, the assumption can be that time is something “out there”. In reality time as we understand it conceptually is an invention of the human mind. To meditate on the eternal present is to recognize that the entire realm of past present and future are all contained within the context of the timeless, and that this eternal, timeless present is always present, right here, right now.

The timeless present in many ways resembles the primal pre-present, but to be able to appreciate and value the timeless present we have to have gone into conceptual time, understood and lived within it, and then see through its illusion. So you could say that the timeless present is the post-transient present!

Meditating on the Timeless Present gives us maturity of vision, depth of perception, a sense of everything possessing its own natural perfection, and opens us up to our first classical “enlightenment experiences”.

We can meditate on the timeless present by recognizing that every aspect of our experience right here right now is contained within the embrace of the timeless present, and learn to relax our awareness into that ever present, eternal space.

The Intuitive Present

The intuitive present is when we have gained substantial experience of the timeless present, and have developed the capacity to function in conventional time whilst at the same time remaining connected to timelessness. As Ajahn-Chah says, it is the meditative experience of our mind being like “still water that moves, and moving water that it still”. From a present moment perspective, it is as if time and eternity now fit together in our experience like a hand in a glove. Conventional time is like the glove, the timeless present is like the hand within.

The intuitive present is not the same as our intuition in general, which can come in many forms such as our instinctive or emotional intuition.

Accessing the intuitive present signals the development of our capacity to engage fully in worldly life and spiritual life side by side, to live in the world whilst not being of the world so to speak. Our experience of the intuitive present gives us a powerful tool to see everything that we experience within the context of our unfolding path to greater awakening.

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 24th July, 9.30-11.30am – Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass

In a sentence: Learn how you can use mindfulness to develop your emotional range and skills

Much of our quality of life depends not so much on what we are experiencing, but the way in which we experience it. Our moods and emotional states to a large degree define the quality of our life experience, at work, in our relationships and in our leisure activities. This masterclass will lead you on an experiential journey
Read full details…

August 5th, 6th, 7th, 2-4pm – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three day course

These sessions are specifically designed to help teens develop their real inner skills that help them be:

More effective at achieving their chosen goals
Build confidence,
Build resilience around stress and
Increase their capacity for fun and enjoyment as they learn.

Read full details…

The new Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program

This is eight-month coaching program with Toby is designed to facilitate your own personal mindful self-discovery process. It focuses on:

Awareness of how your past experience has influenced who and how you are today
Confidence in approaching your present experience with playful fullness and enthusiasm
Giving you the inner tools to face your choices and your future in an empowered, dynamic, and authentic manner

Read full details

Watch Toby’s video on the Program

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Starts 6th&7th July – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Saturday 17th, 24th, 31st July, 2-4pm – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three week course

Saturday 24th July, 9.30-11.30am – Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation, mindfulness, mindfulness meditation, presence, present moment, Zen meditation

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What’s keeping me from relaxing in the present moment?

Post author By Toby
Post date July 12, 2021

“If meditation is keeping our mind in the present moment, then a useful question to ask ourselves each day is: What is it within my experience of the present moment right now that I am resisting?”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article continues the Zen theme, exploring a counter-intuitive way of moving more deeply into the present, but noticing what is getting in the way.

In the spirit of presence,

Toby

What’s keeping me from relaxing in the present moment?

If meditation is keeping our mind in the present moment (which is one major foundational understanding of it), then a useful question to ask ourselves each day is “What is it within my experience of the present moment right now that I am resisting?” On one level it seems as if the present moment should be the simplest and most natural space to enter into, and yet we resist.

Rather than giving you the answer to this question in an abstract or philosophical manner, I’ll just outline my experience of this over the last weekend, and then offer some conclusions based around this.

Last weekend (it is now Monday) I noticed an uneasy feeling that was preventing me from feeling comfortable with myself and with my circumstances. It seemed as if my mind was on a hair trigger. As soon as I sat down to try and relax, all sorts of reasons to feel dissatisfied or uneasy would start forming in my mind. Recognizing that I had something of a challenge on my hands, I asked myself the question “What is it that is causing me to feel uneasy in the present moment and unable to relax?” I just sat and breathed with this question for a while, looking into my body and mind for an answer. Rationally I discovered no real reason for the unease; life is going quite well, no big crisis, nothing REALLY to feel bad about. However, when I looked in my body, on the energy level I found that there was what I would describe as a nervous “tick” in the centre of my chest. This is to say that there was a very uncomfortable energy in the centre of my chest that was creating a natural feeling of discomfort and dis-ease within my mind and body.

I could not shift this feeling straight away, and so I made a decision “If I cannot shift this uncomfortable feeling, then I am just going to have to ‘be’ with it, and make sure that I don’t allow it to affect my thinking, feeling and behavior in any kind of negative way”.

Having made this decision, my main task over the next 36 or so hours that it took for this heart energy to clear was simply to “be” with this uncomfortable energy, to accept it.

The act of choosing to be with the uncomfortable feeling, and not allow it to cause a problem is an example of when we need to make an extra effort to be present, even if there is a certain amount of willpower and effort involved.

Key points:

Asking yourself the question “What is it that is keeping me from entering into the present moment” is a very useful way of bringing yourself back to the present moment, even if you can feel resistance to it.
Asking the question regularly enables you to get to know the reasons you personally avoid being in the present moment much more intimately.
Sometimes being in the present moment means exerting your willpower and courage, and being compassionately honest with yourself.
Learning to be aware and take care of your mind and body when they are unhappy and uncomfortable is just as important, maybe more so than being present when things are going well.

If you ask this question, you will discover your own reasons for resisting the present moment, and uncover strategies for being able to relax and be present to whatever IS in your life, in a compassionate, attentive manner.

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Ongoing – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

In a sentence: De-clutter your mind, develop concentration and create focused calm in your life by learning Zen meditation

Overview: The Zen School of Meditation arose from a combination of the teachings of the Buddha with the teachings of Taoism in China during the 6^th century AD, where it became known as Chan meditation (‘Chan’ meaning ‘quietude’, or ‘meditation’). Later it was adopted by the Japanese, and it is they that called it Zen.

Zen is a particularly appropriate form of meditation for today’s hyper busy and challenging world because…Read full course details

Saturday 17th, 24th, 31st July, 2-4pm – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three week course

These sessions are specifically designed to help teens develop their real inner skills that help them be:

More effective at achieving their chosen goals
Build confidence,
Build resilience around stress and
Increase their capacity for fun and enjoyment as they learn.

Read full details…

Saturday 24th July, 9.30-11.30am – Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass

In a sentence: Learn how you can use mindfulness to develop your emotional range and skills

The new Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program

This is eight-month coaching program with Toby is designed to facilitate your own personal mindful self-discovery process. It focuses on:

Awareness of how your past experience has influenced who and how you are today
Confidence in approaching your present experience with playful fullness and enthusiasm
Giving you the inner tools to face your choices and your future in an empowered, dynamic, and authentic manner

Read full details

Watch Toby’s video on the Program

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Starts 6th&7th July – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Saturday 17th, 24th, 31st July, 2-4pm – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three week course

Saturday 24th July, 9.30-11.30am – Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindful presence, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, presence, present moment

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Meditating with your parental self

Post author By Toby
Post date June 16, 2021

“If we are already, or have aspirations to be an outer parent, needless to say the better our relationship to inner parenting we have, the more equipped we are to be a competent outer parent”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on how to start working with the psychological sub-personality known as the ‘inner parent’. Its something that we focus on quite extensively in my Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program.

In the spirit of inner parenting,

Toby

Meditating with your parental self

Who is your parental self?
The mature adult or parental-self (for this article let’s consider them the same, although they can be distinguished) is that part of your psyche that embodies the mature ego. It is able to bear responsibilities in life, knows how to plan for the future, and to nurture and protect the lower levels of self (child and youth), ideally with a balance of firmness and love

Why is it important to get to know this part of yourself?
From the above definition we can see that our parental self is vital for living a fulfilling, healthy life. We need it to navigate problems, set goals (and stick to them), interact with others successfully, and look after other aspects of our inner psyche, principally our inner child.
If we are already or have aspirations to be an outer parent, needless to say the better our relationship to inner parenting we have, the more equipped we are to be a competent outer parent!

Two aspects or dimensions of our parental self
Like our outer parents, our inner parent has two dimensions, or aspects; the mother and father. Here is a bit more detail on them (Definitions taken from Nathaniel Branden, the Six Pillars of Self Esteem, page 265ff):
The mother-self is the component of the psyche containing an internalization of the personality, perspective, and values of an individual’s mother (or older female “mother figures” who had an influence and impact during childhood. We are dealing with the individual and historical, not the generic or universal “Mother”. (This is very different from Transactional Analysis’s generic “parent ego-state. Mother and Father are both parents, but they are very different and should not be treated as a psychological unit; they often send very different messages and have very different attitudes and values.)
The father-self is the component of the psyche containing an internalization of the personality, perspective, and values of an individual’s father (or older male “father figures” who had an influence and impact during childhood.)
Our parental selves are a psychic reality, that we are interacting with all the time, it’s just a matter of whether we are doing it consciously or unconsciously. The exercises below offer a few pointers for getting started.

Free association on your parental selves.
Bring to mind the words ‘my mother self’ or ‘my father self’ (choose one or other at a time initially). Holding it within your awareness allow your mind to start to free –associate feelings, images, memories, thoughts, desires and actions/activities with your mother or father-self. At this stage the main thing is to focus on being curious as to what sort of memories, feelings and so on arise when you contemplate the idea of your mother or father self. Whether these feelings and memories are pleasant or unpleasant is secondary, the main thing is simply to see what comes up without editing any of the content.
After a while ask yourself the question “What does my mother or father-self look like?” Allow your mind to build an image of your mother and father-self; s/he may simply be an image of yourself as a mature adult of a certain age, but equally s/he may be different from your literal, historical mature adult-self in some way; for example, s/he may resemble one of your parents or other adult role models that you have had.

Asking opinions and perspectives
Once you have a visual on both your inner parents, you can start getting to know them; their opinions, perspectives and how they function. You can start to discern which parts of them are working well and are healthy, and which parts are dysfunctional and in need of healing. Together with them you can create an inner parental self that is consistent, can be relied upon and is both firm and loving to your child self.

Related article: Meditating with your inner child

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

This masterclass teaches six complementary breathing techniques that will help you:

Connect to your body’s natural intelligence and capacity to move towards balance and harmony
Release stress and tension on progressively deeper levels
Combine relaxation with sustainably higher energy levels
Make your life and activities into a ‘flow’ state
Develop systematically deeper states of physical, psychological and spiritual concentration
Reduce over active thinking and cultivate stillness
Cultivate breathing patterns that are conducive to physical health and well-being

R ead full details…

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation
The Summer Solstice (Called by the Celts ‘Alban Hefin’, or ‘the Light of Summer’) is the high point of summer in the northern hemisphere, the point of the Suns maximum power in the year, & the longest day. It is a good time to attune the life-force in the earth & creative energies within ourselves. We will be taking the time to get in touch with our own inner power, solar confidence & expressive self.

At the summer solstice, we can think about the autumn & winter periods that lie ahead of us, what our goals & expectations are, & sow the seeds on an inner level of the things that we wish to manifest over the next few months.
Full details…

Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

In a sentence: Learn how to work creatively with uncertainty, imperfection and life’s inherent messiness to realize your leadership and self-leadership potential. Manage stress and anxiety better using mindfulness in combination with the practical philosophy of Wabi-Sabi.
Principle aspects of Wabi-Sabi include:

An appreciation of the beauty of the impermanent, the imperfect and incomplete
A recognition of the value of humility
A willingness to engage with the unconventional

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Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

10% early bird offer: Up until the 22nd June SGD$765 (Course price $850)

Overview: This is a weekend, three-session dynamic mindfulness program designed for:

Those looking for an engaged, practical mindfulness course designed to build resilience, effectiveness and wellness in the face of work and life challenges
Trainers, coaches and therapists looking to integrate mindfulness into their own professional practice with clients
People who have been through basic conventional mindfulness training programs and are looking for the next level of practice and performance

The essential content of the course is ten separate but interlinked mindfulness meditation practices…
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The new Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program

This is eight-month coaching program with Toby is designed to facilitate your own personal mindful self-discovery process. It focuses on:

Awareness of how your past experience has influenced who and how you are today
Confidence in approaching your present experience with playful fullness and enthusiasm
Giving you the inner tools to face your choices and your future in an empowered, dynamic, and authentic manner

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Watch Toby’s video on the Program:

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Ongoing Tues/Wednesday – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week course

Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology