Category: A Mind of Ease

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Mindfully unhooking your mind

Dear Integral Meditators,
Why not take a bit of time each day to ‘mindfully unhook’ yourself from the repeating thoughts and feelings that are tearing you up, and return your body, mind and heart to health and balance…the article below explains one way you can do this!
A quick reminder of the  Stress-transformation coaching offer details below, and the Stress transformation workshop this Saturday…In the spirit of unhooking,Toby

Special offer on Stress-Transformation coaching
Stress transformation coaching with Toby helps you to transform your present overwhelm, stress, anxiety and other difficult emotions into forces for the good in your life. The coaching focuses upon thriving in situations and circumstances that would previously make you unhappy, fearful, inhibited and so on…See full details here.

Get 15% off the usual cost, offer ends on Tuesday 16th April 

Unhooking your mind

A few days ago, I was feeling over-tired, over-stretched and over-whelmed. When I’m in this state I know that its very easy for challenging thoughts and emotions in my mind to become a lot more dramatic/catastrophic than my life is, in reality.
I knew from past experience that, in this situation, what I need to do is just stop for a while and gather myself.
So, I sat down to do a bit of meditation. As I began to calm down and breathe, I saw an image of myself underwater, with many little fishhooks in me. I was struggling around, and this was causing the hooks to tear my flesh even more. I saw myself in the image stop struggling, becoming still and relaxing. As I relaxed, I could feel the pain in my mind becoming less, and I could see the hooks stop tearing at my flesh in the image. I started to feel comfortable, gradually I could see the hooks in my body gradually dissolving away, and my flesh healing. As the image changed I could feel the energy in my body, mind and heart calming and regenerating. I became comfortable.
By the time I had finished sitting, I felt centred and recharged. My challenges had not gone away, but they felt different. I felt stronger, and able to take courage and continue moving toward the best that my life has to offer, and to continue to express myself according the values that mean the most to me.

This is a simple imaginative technique that you can use yourself anytime to ‘mindfully unhook’ yourself from the repeating thoughts and feelings that are tearing you up, and return your body, mind and heart to health and balance.

Related articles: When you are trapped in a thornbush
Big Enough, Specific Enough (Dealing with spiky minds)

Article © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia 

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, April 20th & 27th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Tues & Weds 2nd/3rd April – Monthly astrological meditation – Aries – I Am: Developing confidence in yourself and your identity in the world

Saturday 13th April 9.30am-12.30pm – Meditations for transforming negativity and stress into positivity and enlightenment

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 27th April, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Integral Meditation Asia

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Mindful sitting – Three centring positions

“The way you sit and stand are psychological positions as well as a physical ones. Its worth doing them consciously.”

Here are three simple ways to centre yourself while sitting. You can practise them individually or together, one after the other. Each of them has a slightly different effect and benefit, all of them are simple and easy to do once you have tried them a few times. They are designed to encourage a feeling in the body that is helpful both to our physical health and energy levels as well as our psychological wellbeing. They can be done standing as well as sitting.

Position 1 – Sitting like a puppet: Sit upright in a chair, imagine that you have a piece of string attached to the crown of your head. Feel it pulling your head neck and torso up a couple of centimetres, so that your posture is upright and vertical. Now imagine you are hanging from the string. Relax all the muscles in the body as much as you can, so that the only muscle work that your body is doing is to keep itself upright. For example, your face does not need to hold any tension for the body to be upright. Progressively go through all the main areas of your body, relaxing them as much as possible. Then simply notice what this feels like, focusing your attention on it for a while.

Often when we are sitting or standing we are holding a lot of unnecessary tension in our body, the idea here is to create a habitual way of sitting that is ergonomic as well as relaxing.

Position 2 – The half-smile: Become aware of the expression on your face. Spend a few moments relaxing the muscles in the face and bringing it into a neutral expression. Then raise the corners of your mouth a few millimetres so that your expression describes a warm half-smile. As you breathe in, focus on the feeling of the expression, as you breathe out, extend the feeling of the expression to the rest of your body, and if you like to any moods, emotions or thoughts in your mind. Centre yourself around your facial expression for a short while, being curious about the effect that it has on you.

Its very easy to spend long periods of the day with holding tension and emotion in our expression that are not helping us. The half-smile helps us to counter this tendency.

Position 3 – Sitting with confidence: The half-smile expression already invites a feeling of gentle self-confidence. Becoming more aware of the body, make small adjustments that help you connect to a feeling of confidence. Even if you don’t feel immediately confident, adopt a posture that helps you start to move that way; shoulders and chest open and relaxed, hands and limbs relaxed. Like the other two positions, practice the posture so that the body becomes familiar with it, and it becomes a habitual, default body posture for you, even when you are under pressure.

So, there you go, three body positions to practice centring yourself mindfully around anytime!

Article and picture © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com 

Shadow Coaching with Toby February Special Offer

Special offer of 15% off Toby’s shadow coaching 3 session package up to end Thursday 14th February. for full details click HERE!
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” – Carl Jung

All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia for February

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, 16th & 23rd February – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Tues & Weds February 12/13th – Monthly astrological meditation – Aquarius: Developing your inner knowing and self-knowledge

Saturday 23rd February 11-12.30pm –   Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday 23rd February, 3.30-5.30pm – Developing Your Self-Confidence Through Mindfulness Workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

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Nine different forms of mindful centring

Dear  Integral Meditators,

The world  you inhabit and experience is very different when you view it from your inner centre. This weeks article looks at nine different ways in which you can practice mindful centring. Different ways of enjoying your life more in an empowered way by standing in the middle of it.
If you are a complete beginner to meditation, then I’ll be doing a 90minute ‘Get your practice started Now!‘ session this Saturday afternoon, which is an ideal starting point!

In the spirit of the centre,

Toby

Nine different forms of mindful centring

Mindfulness is by its nature a centring activity, so on one level you might say that any form of mindfulness done well is a form of centring practice. What I’ve done below is to compile a list of practices that help you find your centre in different ways. You can then try them out and see which one or combination works best for you. You’ll see I’ve also linked the sections to further articles that explain the technique in some detail.

Body, senses, breathing – Whenever you bring your attention mindfully to any of these three, then by implication you start to bring yourself back to your center, both in terms of physical location, and the present moment. A few moments being aware of your breathing, or one of your senses, or the weight of your body are all ways of establishing a very basic experience of centre.

Curiosity and questioning – From a position of light observational curiosity, try asking a simple question such as ‘How am I feeling today?’, or ‘What do I notice about my surroundings right now?’ Questioning with curiosity focuses attention and encourages your mind toward a point of centre and focus.

Awareness of your non-centre – If you are feeling off-centre and it’s difficult to settle, then using observation and curiosity ask yourself ‘What is preventing me from feeling centred and present?’ Observing your resistance to the present and your centre will, paradoxically, help you find your centre!

The hub of the wheel – Imagine all the motion and commotion; physical, emotional, mental, in your life as being like the circular motion of a wheel. Imagine yourself at the hub of the wheel. All the energy-in-motion is just the spinning of the wheel around you, you are safe, still and centred in the hub.

The eye of the storm – This is like the hub of the wheel, but a different image and metaphor. All the commotion is like a swirling storm around you. You are in the eye of the storm, a still point of calm and ease right in the centre!

Your vertical core – Imagine a line of light going down from the crown of your head to your perineum (point between the middle of your legs). This is your physical body’s vertical centre, or core. Sitting or standing, rock your body from side to side, and then from front to back whilst focusing on your vertical core. Then take a few breaths centring on your vertical centre, connecting to the feeling of balance that comes from it.

Centres along your vertical core – Once you have your vertical core, you can then centre at specific levels of it. For example, you can centre on it at the level of the belly(lower dan-tien), or the heart, or in the head, in the centre of the brain area. With practice you can learn to centre yourself more and more effectively using these particular physical points in the body.

Grounding – Focus attention on the soles of your feet, imagine yourself with heavy boots, or growing roots from your feet, really connecting to the earth. This can be a nice one to do as you walk. You can also practice feeling centring, grounding energy rising up from the earth as a way of connecting to your centre.

Non-doing – Centring through non-doing means to practice for short periods of time doing nothing, or no-thing on the physical and mental level. This helps us to gently settle and centre our mind in our own primary awareness, in the moment.

So, there you go, nine different ways of finding your mindful centre. Enjoy!

​© Toby Ouvry 2018, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation AsiaOngoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15: November 3rd,10th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday 27th October, 9:30am – 12:30pm – Meditations for creating a mind of ease, relaxed concentration and positive intention 

Saturday 27th October, 4-5.30pm – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Tues & Wednesday 30 & 31 October, 7.30-8.30pm – Samhain Meditation – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Tues 6th & Weds 7th November – Deepavali meditation – Connecting to your inner-light

Saturday 17th November 9.30am-1pm – The Six Qi Healing sounds: Qi gong For Self-Healing and Inner Balance Workshop

Saturday 24th November 9.30am-12.30pm – Finding simplicity in the complexity – Meditation from the perspective of Zen

 

Integral Meditation Asia

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Plan More, Worry Less!

Dear Integral Meditators,

Is it possible to make worry work for you, rather than against you, and if so how? The article below explores this theme, and offers some practical ideas regarding how you can start!

In the spirit of planning, not worrying,

Toby

 

Managing your survival instincts; Plan more, worry less

Planning is what you do when you have a challenge and you deliberately contemplate it in order to come up with an effective plan of action. Planning helps resolve the issues that the problem is causing. Effective planning is a necessary part of a successful life, problem management and dealing with stress.
Worrying (as defined in this article) is what you do when there is something that concerns you, and you are not sure how to resolve it. Worrying can be useful if it leads to effective planning. However, as often as not we worry without doing anything effective about the issue.

  • Worrying that lasts a short time and leads to us sitting down and making an effective battle plan regarding how to deal with a problem is useful
  • Worrying that leads to anxiety, inability to see a problem clearly and fear of acting to resolve the issue is undesirable and serves only to give rise to negative stress
  • Quite often we find ourself worrying about things that WE HAVE ALREADY MADE A BATTLE PLAN TO RESOLVE! This is just plain silly. If you have identified a challenge and made an effective battle plan to resolve it, then one of the whole points of making that battle plan is that you now know what you are going to do to try and resolve the situation. So by definition you should stop worrying about it!

If you are worried about something, then sit down and make a battle plan about how to deal with the situation. Having made your battle plan, then simply follow the plan of action that you have made and stop worrying!
If you have made an effective plan to deal with a problem, then there is no need to worry, as there is already a plan in place!
The key practice here is to be more mindful. When you are thinking of a challenge in your life ask yourself the question “Am I worrying about this, or am I planning a way to deal with it?”

  • If you discover you are worrying, then stop worrying and start planning.
  • If you have already made a plan, then you can stop worrying anyway, because you have a plan.

Know the difference between planning and worrying; Plan more worry less!

© Toby Ouvry 2018, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Starts Tuesday & Wednesday March 6-7 th – Inner Peace, Inner Power – An Introduction to Integral & Engaged Meditation Practice

Integral Meditation Asia

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A Mind of Ease creative imagery Enlightened Flow Integral Awareness Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Using the Energy of Negative Emotions

The Eye of the Storm – Finding peace in the non-peace

Dear Integral Meditators,

What would happen if in the moments when you were feeling most disturbed and out of balance you were able to find a place of peace within that same moment? The article below explores how you can begin to do so.

In the spirit of the eye of the storm,

Toby

The Eye of the Storm – Finding peace in the non-peace
 
It’s always pleasant and valuable to seek out peaceful times and places in your day where you can cultivate your inner peace mindfully, but it can also be hugely valuable to learn to notice the peace that is present in the midst of the most stressful situations that you find yourself in, for example

  • When you have multiple demands upon your time
  • When your relationships are in crisis
  • When your health is not good
  • When you face setbacks nervousness or uncertainty

If you think about any of these types of circumstances in your mind or life as being like a storm, to find the ‘peace in the non-peace’ means to go looking for the eye of the storm in that moment; to locate and hold your awareness in that center point. You don’t wait for the storm to subside or go away; you actively look for the point of stillness within it as the activity goes on around and within you.
This is a very powerful way to learn to experience peace, as it is directly contrasted with the stress, movement and turbulence of your circumstances. Cultivating peace in this way also makes you more resilient, as your capacity to endure and relax into stress increases.
So, the next time you find yourself experiencing non-peace, remember the eye of the storm and look for the still point within the turbulence, placing your attention and awareness in that place. Find the peace within the non-peace.

© Toby Ouvry 2018, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Integral Meditation Asia

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Combating Your Addiction to stimulation (& New Meditation Sleep Technology)

Dear Integral Meditators,

In this age of mental over stimulation, how can we find and enhance our peace of mind? The article below considers this question in the context of three qualities, permission, seduction and courage!

Beneath the article you’ll see I’ve placed some info about a product from I-Awake called ‘Sound Asleep‘. If you are looking for a drug-free way of improving your sleep, this is one alternative. I have been using it myself since it has come out, and getting some good results.

Live in Singapore this week: The Tuesday & Wednesday evening meditation classes will be on ‘Leaping like a Tiger – How to be Positively Mindful of your Self-Concept’ . And on Saturday we have the Deep dive meditation & Mindful Walking retreat.

In the spirit of permission, seduction and courage,

Toby

Combating Your Addiction to stimulation (Permission, Seduction, Courage)

If you ask anyone, “Would you like more calm and peace in your life?” the vast majority of us would say “Yes, or course!” With that in mind, what is the mindful gateway that can take us to that greater calm? One answer to this is boredom.
What do I mean by this? Well, in the information age our mind is mostly over stimulated. We are trying to digest too much information at any given time. Whenever our mind feels uncomfortable and insecure, the ‘go to’ activity now is to seek distraction, either on our phone, or on computers, or in the company of others. Our concentration span has become smaller, and our ability to do one thing at a time has decreased. It would be true to say that most of us are addicted to stimulation and as a result our minds are in a state of perpetual agitation. More than that we are addicted to that state of agitation and stimulation.

To move your body-mind into a state of calm, what actually needs to be done is to stop all the stimulation and ‘flipping’ of our attention, and let our mind focus on just one thing for an period of time. Peace and calm in this sense are a side effect of the act of concentrating on just one thing! Because your mind is addicted to change and stimulation, one of the big obstacles that we face to calm may be our mind complaining that it is bored. Focusing on one thing, for the first few minutes that we try to do it feels terribly boring. Our mind twitches around looking for the next thing to grab its attention and stimulate it. Only by patiently enduring, walking toward and through that sense of boredom will our mind start to settle. From this settling a sense of peace and calm will naturally start to emerge.

Walking through boredom with permission, seduction and courage
For this exercise you can take any suitable object as your object of focus. Here I’m going to suggest you take something predictable and boring like the breathing, perhaps just seeing if you can count from 1-5 breaths at a time without getting distracted, and repeating this on a loop for the duration of the meditation. Having chosen your object, I then suggest that you can use three states of mind to help you as you focus:

  1. Give yourself full permission to drop everything else and focus on your breathing (or chosen object). Make sure your mind understands that all emergencies are suspended for the duration of the session, it really can put down distractions. This way as it starts to ‘detox’ from its overstimulated state, it can relax into the boredom and discomfort, rather than turning away from it.
  2. Use seduction. Tell yourself and your mind how much you will enjoy it if you can really let go and rest at ease. Empathize with the overstimulated distraction-addict in you. Let her know that you are there to help and that beyond the boredom lies peace!
  3. Courage. As peace and calm begin to kick in, there can also be an enhanced awareness of all the fears, insecurities and anxieties that are behind your most compulsive distractions. You place courage in the center of your awareness as these fears kick in, enabling you to ‘hold your position’ long enough for the calm to emerge stably, and for your mind to settle!

So, there you go! A simple exercise for walking though the gateway of boredom to deeper peace and calm. And a way of gently combating our addiction to stimulation.
© Toby Ouvry 2018, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

SOUND ASLEEP – A deeply soothing guided meditation with embedded brainwave frequencies for restorative, sound sleep
One of the most effective things you can do to enhance your wellbeing is to improve the quality of your sleep. A good night’s sleep makes you healthier, happier, and more creative.
With Sound Asleep, I-Awake have created a sound technology tool to gently lull you into the very deepest stages of sleep.
A soothing, dream-like blend of words, ocean waves, and advanced brainwave entrainment, Sound Asleep is designed to give you more peaceful, restorative sleep, night after night.
Click on the link to find out more and listen to the free sample! 20% off until February 1st!

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Saturday February 3rd, 9.15am-12.15pm – Integral meditation & mindful walking deep dive half day retreat

February classes coming soon!

Integral Meditation Asia

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Light reborn from darkness (Winter Solstice meditation 20/21 Dec)

Dear Integral Meditators,

I hope you are enjoying the run up toward Christmas! In the article below I share a meditation practice that I use quite a lot at this time of year s a way of aligning myself with the seasonal energies, I hope you enjoy it!

In  the spirit of the solstice & the festive season,

Toby

Light reborn from darkness

One of the meditations that I use quite a lot over the Winter solstice period is something I call ‘Resting in regenerative darkness’. It’s a very cozy, ergonomic meditation form that also aligns well with the greater darkness of the season. Its use however does not have to be limited to this time of year.


To do this you can either literally place yourself in a dark or dimly lit room, or simply use your imagination. If you wish you can also have an unlit candle in front of you, ready for the second stage of the meditation, although this can be imagined if you don’t have one at hand.


Sitting or lying comfortably, take a few breaths where, as you breathe out you imagine you are moving into a sleepy, restful, dark state. You might feel you are sinking gently into the darkness of night, or the darkness of deep space. You could imagine yourself sinking into the dark soil of a forest, or sitting in cave or cavern beneath the earth. Feel your conscious mind switching almost completely off. Feel your body moving into to a deeply restful, regenerative state, surrounded by darkness. Let your mind become blank, almost like it is in hibernation. Feel like a soul that has died and is waiting quietly to be reborn.
Breathe and relax into the darkness.

The light reborn. 
After you have spent a while resting in the darkness, imagine a single light appears, like a single candle flame. If you have an actual candle flame in front of you, you can light it at this stage. Focus on the light. You might see it in the centre of your heart space –  a new light re-born from the darkness. This new light is the light of new life within you, the renewal of your spiritual being and creative potential in the world. For now, it is just a single light in the darkness; calm, bright and able to grow gently into its own power. Spend some time breathing as you focus on the light; inhale as you focus upon it, as you exhale relax into it; become the light in the darkness. Let yourself feel like a bright soul that has been re-born anew and playful in the darkness.
Finish when you are ready.

I invite you to enjoy this technique over the festive & new year season, if you want to explore it along with other seasonal meditation themes, do have a look at the winter solstice meditation below!

© Toby Ouvry 2017, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Integral Meditation Asia

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Solve no problem (& leave no problem unsolved)

Dear Integral Meditators,

How can you reduce your stress and anxiety at the same time as becoming more effective at solving your problems? The article below explores a practical mindful perspective on this…

In the spirit of treading lightly & purposefully,

Toby

Solve no problem (& leave no problem unsolved)

‘These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.’ ~ Najwa Zebian

This article explores two complementary mindful positions:

  • Firstly, how to let go of your over anxious, problem-solving mind periodically
  • Secondly, the necessity of mindfully taking responsibility for finding solutions to problems that are indeed yours to solve

Position 1: Solving no problem
The challenge: Most of us are compulsive thinkers, and we find it difficult to leave our problems and challenges alone. Instead we spend much of our time carrying our problems around like a burden. Let’s say I have a problem with a colleague at work. All I can think about is how my relationship with them is ‘not right’ and what I should do to ‘fix’ the problem, or show them what they need to do to ‘fix’ themselves and their attitude(!) Even when I am not with them I am thinking about the problems we have. It becomes a burden that I cannot put down. You can think of many other examples of this from your own life I am sure!
The practice: So, the practice with ‘solving no problem’ is to sit mindfully and simply put down all your problems and worries; learn to leave them alone! You simply sit and practice non-striving, and non-fixing. When a problem or challenge comes into your mind, you notice it but resist trying to fix it or find a solution to it. You give yourself and your mind a break from all problem-solving activities, just relax!

Position 2: Leave no problem unsolved
The challenge: Many of the very real problems that we face we avoid thinking about. This is because the very thought of these challenges makes us anxious and nervous, so when they come up we either push them away/repress them, or feel various levels of emotional panic. This panic further prevents clear thinking and effective problem solving. Let’s say I feel uncomfortable about an emotional issue with my partner. Whenever I feel the emotion coming up I feel mild panic and confusion, so I immediately shove it too the back of my mind, out of the way so I don’t have to dwell on it. However, since the problem is to do with my partner and I, at some point I have to say to myself ‘How am I going to take on and solve this problem?’ This question initiates self-responsibility, the act of choosing to take care of what is yours to take care of and resolve.
The practice: Ask yourself the question, ‘What are the most important challenges I face right now, that it is my responsibility to try and resolve?’ Let your mind follow the direction that the question points it in. From this identify one challenge that you want to focus on bringing your full attention to finding a solution to. Focus on thinking about that one thing for say five minutes. Maybe have a pen and paper at hand to write any useful conclusions down.

The result: The idea here is to develop the capacity to both:

  1. Put problems down for a while, giving yourself a mental break and tread lightly
  2. When appropriate really, focus your intelligence in on solving your problems effectively.

You are able to integrate non-solving and definite solving into a complementary, mutually enhancing pair of mindfulness practices!

Related article: Three levels of non-striving

© Toby Ouvry 2017, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Beginning 14th&15th November – Mastering your mind & thoughts through mindfulness – A five-week course

Saturday December 2nd, 9.30am-12.30pm – The Six Qi Gong Healing sounds: Qi gong For Self-Healing and Inner Balance Workshop

Saturday December 16th, 9.30am-12.30pm & 2-5pm –  Integral meditation & mindful walking deep dive half day retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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A Mind of Ease Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness

Am I happier now than when I was a Buddhist Monk? (Repetition and inner growth)

Dear Integral Meditators,

How much do you value your happiness? How much of it is in your hands, as opposed to fate? How much effort does it really take to become consistently happy in the way you ‘want’ to be? In the article below I share some of my own story and experience on this topic.

If you like the article & are in Singapore, I will be doing a session on ‘How to rest naturally in the present moment’ in tonight’s Tuesday class, as well as at the Wednesday class.

Full details for workshops for October are below the article.

In the spirit of mindful happiness,

Toby

Am I happier now than when I was a Buddhist Monk? (Repetition and inner growth)

After I graduated from University in 1994, I spent the next eight years focusing very intensively on meditation and inner growth. This included four years as a monk within the Tibetan Buddhist tradition. In 2002, I left the ordained life and founded my own mindfulness training business in Singapore, which I am still fully involved in and passionate about.

One of the questions that I am asked quite often at talks, workshops and classes that I facilitate goes something like this: “Are you happier now than you were as a Buddhist monk, leading a relatively simple, worry free life of meditation?”

To this my answer is always emphatically ‘yes!’ for the following reason: I am happier now because, since moving back into the life of a layman, I have been practising the basic happiness skills that I learned as a Buddhist monk repeatedly for many years and I have got better at them. As a result my happiness has steadily improved year in, year out over the sixteen years since I left the ordained life.  I can also say with confidence that my basic happiness levels will continue to steadily improve in the years to come. This will happen in spite of the added stresses that comes from running a business, marrying, divorcing, starting a family, being a father, a partner and all of the other aspects of ordinary life that I am now fully engaged with.

For me this really boils down to the value of consistency and repetition. Quite often when people think about inner transformation there is a gap in their mind between the amount of effort they THINK it will take to change bad habits, and the amount of effort it ACTUALLY takes. When they realize that the change that they are looking for will take longer than they thought, they get discouraged and give up.

So, what we are looking for from a ‘mental fitness’ point of view is developing the ability to practice good mental, emotional and spiritual habits slowly and steadily over a long period of time. This means becoming more like the tortoise than the hare in that traditional children’s story about the race between the hare and the tortoise. We do not want to start off with a lot of enthusiasm, only to lose it when the going gets tough and give up. Rather we need to practise gentle, sustainable effort over a long period of time, without being in too much of a hurry to see results quickly.

This can be difficult for people in this day and age as we are living in a society that has such a quick-fix mentality, where results are wanted instantly. In my experience there are no such methods for deep sustained happiness and fulfilment. Rather, this comes from repeating good happiness habits again and again until they become hard wired into our system. Once they are hard wired in this way, then happiness really does become effortless because it is just a subconscious habit, and natural way that we have of viewing and engaging our world.
In conclusion, the basic message of this article is: find out what genuine good quality happiness habits are, then repeat, repeat, repeat!

© Toby Ouvry 2017, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Starting Tues/Wed September 5th/6th – September & October Five Class Meditation Series: Cultivating Deep Experience of the Present Moment

Saturday October 21st, 10am-5pm – Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life, and growing your own personal Life Tree

Saturday 21st October, 2-5.30pm – Going From Over-whelmed to Over-well: Meditation for Quietening the Mind – a three hour workshop

Tuesday 24th & Wednesday 25th October – Meditating with your Shadow Self; Finding Freedom from What Holds You Back in Life – A 1 hour talk & introduction

Saturday November 25th 10am-4pm – Mini ME Retreat #2 : Mindful Eating + Reiki Sound Bath with Tiffany Wee & Elaine Yang

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Awareness and insight creative imagery Insight Meditation Integral Meditation meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindfulness Presence and being present

Witnessing like the Sun

Dear Integral Meditators,

Taking a position as an observer or witness is a fundamental position that we practice when being mindful, but can it make us too cold and detached? The article below explores this theme, and how to build an integrated and balanced witnessing practice.

For those in Singapore, this evening’s  Wednesday class will be on ‘Meditation & spiritual alchemy‘, all welcome!

In the spirit of inner light,

Toby

Witnessing like the Sun

Taking a position as an observer or witness is a fundamental position that we practice when being mindful:

  • We learn to watch our thoughts without interfering, repressing, denying or encouraging.
  • We observe our reactions & responses to what people say to us, noting without judging.
  • We try and hold a third person perspective when we are engaging in daily activities, noting our behaviours and the behaviours of others as consciously as possible.
  • We learn to experience emotions without being completely consumed and over-identified with them. There is a part of us that remains at the center of the experience, balanced amidst the imbalance of our feelings.

There can be an extreme of this witnessing position, whereby we become too detached, too cold, too robotic in our mindful witnessing practice. If we go to this extreme then we can find our mindfulness practice detracting from the quality of our life, as it impairs our ability to engage in experiences with passion, engagement, emotion and humanity. With integral mindfulness, we are trying to set up a complementary, supportive relationship between our emotional engagement in life, and our ability to witness, observe and detach. These two qualities should be working with each other, not against each other!

Witnessing like the Sun
One way in which we can avoid the extreme end of mindful detachment is by practising witnessing like the Sun. From one point of view the sun shines on us with total objectivity. It is so huge, and we are so insignificant and tiny (relative to it), it has no involvement or investment in our life at all. It shines upon us as if by chance, with monolithic objectivity. But, at the same time the Sun is also warm, life-giving, bright and joyful. When we see the Sun we feel enlivened, encouraged and optimistic. So, when we practice mindful witnessing, either in formal practice or informally during the day, we can practice as if we are the Sun, combining objective detachment with warmth, benevolence and joy as we watch!

When my phone content was wiped
Yesterday I traded in my old phone for a newer version. In the process of doing so the shop assistant accidentally wiped out a bunch or photos and Whatsapp messages that had a lot of sentimental value for me. After realizing what had happened, I was feeling pretty angry and upset, and a bit emotionally traumatized at the loss. Realizing I was upset I switched on my ‘mindful witness mode’, but made sure that I combined it with engagement and passion, so that I was able to experience the emotions without repressing them, say what I wanted to say to the shop assistant about the f*#ck up (possibly more polite than he deserved, but I think I got the message across), and went about seeing if I could recover the images and information from other sources. In short I tried to practice witnessing like the Sun, shining the light of my objective awareness on the experience with warmth as I experienced the emotional roller-coaster. Two hours later, with most of my emotions processed, and almost all the important info recovered, I could relax and enjoy my new phone, calmly!

© Toby Ouvry 2017, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Tuesday & Wednesday evenings – Practical meditations for spiritual awakening & enlightenment – A six week course

Saturday August 19th, 10am-5pm, & Monday August 21st,  10am-5pm –  Shamanic mandala meditation & art workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology