Category: Stress Transformation

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A Mind of Ease Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope Presence and being present Stress Transformation

Mindfully getting outside of your comfort zone

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“Often, discovering the best that is possible for us in life involves deliberately, soulfully and mindfully getting out of our comfort zone! What can you start with today?”
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Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores the relationship between comfort and discomfort, and how to create a complementary relationship between the two. You can also watch my video on the subject: Getting mindfully comfortable in order to get out of your comfort zone.In the spirit of getting comfortable with the uncomfortable,

Toby

Mindfully getting outside of your comfort zone

The ‘improvements’ of contemporary life
If you look at the way in which our life has gotten better as a result of technology, a lot of it has to do with comfort. You can get your favourite restaurant food ordered to your door, you can find information about whatever you want on Google, you can communicate with everyone thru your phone without having to leave your chair. The thing to notice about this is that comfort is not the same thing as greater fulfillment, happiness or well-being. Indeed, many forms of fulfillment and reward in life require and initial risk, or getting out of our comfort zone in order to receive the genuine reward of improved quality of life.
If we don’t watch out, we can get trapped in a subtle addiction to pursuing comfort in the false expectation that it can give us fulfillment on a deeper level, which of course it can’t.

So then, one really useful mindful question to ask ourselves is: “What can I do today to get out of my comfort zone and move towards deeper fulfillment?”
The purpose of this question is to ensure that we don’t get trapped in our comfort zone in a way that denies us the possibility a truly fulfilling, exciting and dynamic life.

Getting physically out of your comfort zone
An obvious and basic place to start is the physical level. Getting out of your comfort zone physically enables us to get fit, build physical skills and abilities, and avoid the consequences of an overly sedentary life.

Getting out of your emotional, mental and relational comfort zone
For many people getting out of their psychological and social comfort zone represents a bigger risk than just getting out of their physical one. Expanding your emotional range, spending time with people that are outside of your normal social circle all requires effort and discomfort. However, the consequent reward, fulfilment, and expansion of possibilities for us often rewards the effort many times over.

Combining genuine comfort and ease with engaging discomfort
Of course this isn’t saying that we shouldn’t  Have good quality periods of ease and restorative comfort in our life. Indeed, I’m writing this on my way back from a deeply enjoyable and ease inducing holiday! The practice here is to dance each day between healthy comfort and healthy discomfort, the goal in mind being to act In a way that brings us as much genuine fulfillment as possible.
Often, discovering the best that is possible for us in life involves deliberately, soulfully and mindfully getting out of our comfort zone! What can you start with today?

Watch Toby’s video on getting mindfully out of your comfort zone here: 

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020.

The Life-fullness Life Coaching Program with Toby

Life-fullness coaching is a unique integration of mindfulness and life-coaching that is designed to help you lead a progressively more awakened life. The essence of the Life-fullness approach is to integrate the different parts of who we are into complementary strengths so that we can really experience ourselves living our life to its fullest…

Watch Toby talking about the  Life-fullness Program:

All upcoming classes and workshops for January 2020

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Starts Monday January 13th, 6.30-8pm – The Men’s group, the path of conscious manhood

The Integral Mindfulness & Meditation Online Program, January-July 2020

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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A Mind of Ease Energy Meditation Life-fullness Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Breathing Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present Stress Transformation

Sinking your centre of gravity

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“If you observe your body during the day, you may notice is that, if there are a number of things that trigger your stress levels in succession, then your centre of gravity rises higher. If you consciously lower your centre of gravity, this can help build greater resilience to that stress.”
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Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores somatic awareness and how it can help you deal better with stress.  Enjoy!

In the spirit of  balance,

Toby

 

 

 

 

Bringing your centre of gravity down

If you observe your body during the day, you may notice is that, if there are a number of things that trigger your stress levels in succession, then your centre of gravity rises higher.
For example, if during breakfast you are reminded of a project at work that is stuck, that thought causes your centre to rise a bit from your lower belly up into your stomach.
Then your partner reminds you that you haven’t started to organise for the party on the weekend, so your centre rises up into your chest. This is accompanied by shallower breathing, from the mid and upper lungs, you are no longer using the lower lung.
Then you go to work and 3-4 people are trying to get your attention. You can’t settle into a task, and even more stress is triggered. By now your stress levels are forcing your energy into your upper chest and shoulders. Your shoulders rise towards your ears, you are breathing from the top of your lungs, and your getting brain cramp behind your eyes as you try and ‘think’ your way out of all the uncomfortable feelings you are having!

Sinking your centre of gravity
One simple way to reduce your stress level then is to simply notice when your centre of gravity rises in your body, and spend a few moments bringing it down. here is one simple method that you can use:

  • Notice the height of your centre of gravity in your torso. For example, it may be in your upper chest or clavicles. Place your hand/palm on that level, and breathe, being aware of it.
  • Then place your hand mid-way between your current centre of gravity, and your lower belly area. As you breathe the next few breaths, ‘sink’ your centre of gravity down to this level, taking slightly deeper breaths than usual.
  •  Now place your hand over your lower belly area, just beneath the belly button. Over the next few breaths sink your centre of gravity down from your mid-level down into the belly. This makes your centre of gravity low, with your upper body relaxed. Feel your torso becoming ‘broad’ at the base (hips and belly) and ’narrow’ at the top (head and shoulders), like a mountain or pyramid.

Keeping your centre of gravity low in your body like this helps to release stress as it arises, and decompress stress that has been building up over time. Try doing the exercise three times a day, for just a minute each time, and observe the effect that it has on you.

 

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday November 16th, 11.30am-1pm – Get your meditation pratice started now – The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday November 23rd, 10am-1pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing

Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Tues  10th & Weds 11th December –  Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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creative imagery Inner vision Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership One Minute Mindfulness Stress Transformation

Finding ledges on the steep climb

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“During the day I practice ‘returning to a ledge’ several times, creating a safe, appreciative space where I can look after myself and also feel that the steep climb of my life is do-able, and that it is all worth it!”
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Dear Toby,
This weeks article describes an image that I have been using for a while to enjoy and appreciate my life, even when it feels like ‘the pressure is on’! I sometimes offer it as a pratice to my coaching clients when they are going through times of stress. I hope you enjoy it.This weekend has the beginners meditation workshop on Saturday morning for those interested.In the spirit of ledges,

Toby

Finding ledges on the steep climb

I sometimes think about my life as a climb up a cliff face. Particularly when times are stressful, seemingly relentless and demanding I imagine myself climbing a steep cliff, with the destination a long way above and out of site. For most of the climb it is simply about looking around and reaching up for the next hand of foot hold, one after the next. Without a break, this would seem intimidating, so I imagine that on this climb there are small ledges that are just big enough for me to climb on and sit down. Here I can relax, regenerate and take temporary refuge. In my minds eye during the day I imagine I have reached one of these ledges. I sit and:

  • Look down of the most recent part of my climb and appreciate myself for having made the progress.
  • I imagine there is a light breeze and perhaps some sunlight. I look at the view of the landscape I have around me
  • Perhaps there are one or two rock flowers on the ledge, that help me to connect to the beauty in my life, and to know that my life is good, even amidst the pressure.
  • I breathe and take in the fresh air, I allow myself to pause and feel safe for this moment in my journey
  • I gather my strength and heart, and when I am ready I turn around and set of up the next section of my climb, renewed and more clear headed

During the day I practice ‘returning to a ledge’ several times, creating a safe, appreciative space where I can look after myself and also feel that the steep climb of my life is do-able, and that it is all worth it!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday November 16th, 11.30am-1pm – Get your meditation pratice started now – The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday November 23rd, 10am-1pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing

Starts Sunday November 3rd – A six week mindfulness course for adults with ADHD

Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Stress Transformation

Choosing to be on Your Own Side

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‘Are you for yourself or against yourself?’ 
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Dear Integral Meditators,

Of the articles I have written, this is one of  my favorites.

In the spirit of being on our own sides,

Toby

Choosing to be on Your Own Side

When you take a creative chance in your business and it does not come out ideally, do you berate yourself for being stupid, or do you congratulate yourself for your creative courage and learn from what you did and what happened?

When you are experiencing a difficult emotional state, do you take the time to express support and warmth to yourself or do you just try and bury the emotion and distract yourself from what you are feeling because of the discomfort?

When you are tired do you let the physical fatigue turn into a series of negative thoughts about yourself, your life and those around you, or do you consciously extend support to your tired body and make the effort to create a positive inner dialogue to help cope with the fatigue until you can get some rest?

When you ask someone you fancy out for a date and they say no, do you make a point of feeling good that you had the emotional courage to ask, or do you cringe with self-embarrassment and wallow in self loathing?

Are you for yourself or against yourself? 
This is one of the most productive mindfulness questions to ask yourself, every day. Each day in many ways, in thought and deed, in subtle and not so subtle actions, we are either expressing warmth, support and friendship to ourself, or we are expressing the opposite; coldness, judgment, self-loathing, self-sabotaging, self-isolating and so on.

To be for yourself is not negatively selfish, it is simply to recognize the your most important intimate relationship is ultimately with yourself; you are the one you have to spend 24 hours a day with, if you get your relationship to yourself right you are setting the stage for success in your life on multiple levels.

No one else can make your relationship to yourself right for you, you have to tread the journey to being truly for yourself alone. You can receive help and advice of course (this article pointing the way for example), but the moment to moment effort to be on your own side can only be exerted by you for you.

Today are you going to be the one supporting and encouraging yourself to the next level of creative expression in your life, or are you going to be the main thing that is holding you back, keeping you scared?

Be on your own side, be for yourself, not against youself. You do have a choice, it is up to you.

Related Article: Life-fullness

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday October 19th, 4-5.30pm – Get your meditation pratice started now – The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Weds 30th Oct & Friday 1st Nov, 7.30-8.30pm – Samhain Meditation – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Starts Sunday November 3rd – A six week mindfulness course for adults with ADHD

Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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creative imagery Energy Meditation Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Motivation and scope Stress Transformation

Mindful of your inner and outer wealth – Six practices

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Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article outline six mindfulness practices for creating a feeling of being both inwardly and outwardly wealthy in your life.

We will be doing a meditation on these practice at the Tuesday and Wednesday meditation classes this week.

Finally, a reminder of this weekends workshop: Saturday 11th May, 1:00pm – 4:00pm – Mindful self confidence – Developing your self-confidence, self-belief and self-trust

In the spirit of richness,

Toby

Mindful of your inner and outer wealth – Six practices

In this article I want to outline five simple, enjoyable mindfulness practices for creating the feeling of being both inwardly and outwardly wealthy, and then doing something today to manifest a sense of the richness of your life.

Wealth as friends and your support network – Bring to mind the wealth you have in your life in terms of friends, family and support network. Take some time to appreciate both the people themselves, and yourself for having built these good relationships into your life. Focus on the feeling created in the body, mind and heart that comes from knowing you are wealthy in terms of your relationships.

Wealth as values and purpose – Think of the core values that motivate you, and the goals that you have in your life motivated by these values. It could be as simple as the love with which you raise your child or the drive to change the industry in which you work for the better. Centre your attention upon these values, and the goals they motivate you towards. Feel the richness of your life in terms of value and meaning.

Material wealth – Bring to mind the wealth and resources that you have. Allow yourself to feel grateful and enthusiastic for what you have, rather than what you haven’t got in terms of material possessions!

Your health – Bring to mind the health that you have in your body. Look for and dwell upon a feeling of appreciation for the health and wellbeing that you posess.

Wealth as competency – Think about the skills that you have, the competencies that you can use to create value and wealth, both inner and outer in your life. Dwell upon the feeling of being wealthy in the sense of having skills. Then ask yourself the question: ‘How can I use my skills today to create greater wealth, both inner and outer in my life?’ Let the answer come back to you. Then decide on one thing that you can do today to increase your experience of wealth and richness!

Article © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia 

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Monday 6.30-7.20 & Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, May 11th & 18th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday 11th May, 1:00pm – 4:00pm – Mindful self confidence – Developing your self-confidence, self-belief and self-trust

Tuesday 14th & Wednesday 15th May – Wesak meditation on compassion

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 18th May, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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A Mind of Ease Life-fullness Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership One Minute Mindfulness Presence and being present Stress Transformation Uncategorized

Mindful ergonomics – Making the most of your energy

“Energy saved is energy you can be using elsewhere in your life to find fulfilment and wellbeing. How can you be more mindfully ergonomic with your energy today?” 

Dear Integral Meditators,

What if you were able to create 10% more energy in your life today, through mindfulness? The article below explores simple ways to start!

In the spirit of energy,

Toby

Mindful ergonomics – Making the most of your energy

When I was in my last year of college, I found myself suffering from chronically low levels of energy. This was quite an issue because my degree was a specialization in sculpture, and I was doing a lot of heavy lifting in the daytime. So in addition to the intellectual and creative demands, there was also the physicality of the work too. One of the ways in which I got through this successfully was by paying attention to the Qi gong principle of not using any more muscle effort than was necessary for any given movement. For example:

  • When I was lifting a heavy bag of clay or plaster I would only use the muscles I needed; grip strength, shoulders, lower back, glutes and thighs. The rest of my body I kept as relaxed as possible
  • When I was walking I walked using only the leg muscles and the ‘swing rhythm’ of the arm movement. I relaxed the body as much as I could when walking

After a short while of doing this I realized how much unnecessary effort I had been putting into my physical actions, and how much physical energy I could save through this simple mindfulness practice.
Nowadays, this isn’t a practice that I limit to the physical world. I continually notice that there are ways in which I can get ‘less for more’ in the positive sense of the word. for example:

  • This afternoon I was having trouble organizing my education program for next month. I could notice my instinctive response to ‘try harder’ to fix the schedule in my diary. I consciously relaxed, took the intensity of my energy down a little, and worked patiently, step by step. The problem was then resolved without much energy or emotional friction
  • I notice I can’t choose the emotions that I’m having in the moment, but I can choose how much energy I give them. Anxiety that I am unconsciously feeding and investing energy in is far more draining than anxiety I hold lightly and choose not to give too much energy to

Energy saved is energy you can be using elsewhere in your life to find fulfilment and wellbeing. How can you be more mindfully ergonomic with your energy today?

Article © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia 

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Monday 6.30-7.20 & Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, May 11th & 18th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday 4th May, 10am-4.30pm – An introduction to meditation from the perspective of Shamanism

Tues 7th & Wednesday 8th May – Monthly Astrological meditation: Taurus – I have: Being mindful of your relationship to manifestation, wealth and possessions

Saturday 11th May, 1:00pm – 4:00pm – Mindful self confidence – Developing your self-confidence, self-belief and self-trust

Tuesday 14th & Wednesday 15th May – Wesak meditation on compassion

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 18th May, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight Inner vision Integral Awareness Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present Stress Transformation

Trusting Yourself (Your first Guardian Angel)

Dear  Integral Meditators,

This Sunday I will be doing a workshop on your meditation with your Guardian Angels. Before you start thinking about how you relate to ‘spiritual guardians’, its really important to realize that your first personal guardian is yourself, your mind and your ‘inner signals’.
The article below explores in a practical way how you can build trust in yourself and your inner signals.
Those interested in the workshop, just click on the link below. You can also see my previous article on Understanding and working with your Guardian Angel.

In the spirit of trusting your inner signals,

Toby

This Sunday 27th January, 2-5pm – Meditations for connecting to and working with your Guardian Angel

In a sentence: Learn how you can use meditation as a practical way of connecting to and communicating with your guardian angel.
All of the great wisdom traditions speak of speak of spiritual guardians who can offer us support, guidance and protection on our journey through life. This workshop focuses specifically on the tradition of the personal guardian angel. In the session you will learn what is mean by an ‘angel’ or angelic being, and what is the nature and function of our own guardian angel….click here for full details.

Trusting Yourself (Your first Guardian Angel)

Mindfulness and meditation can give us temporary calm and relief from the continuous activity of our thinking mind, but if we are tempted to use it as a way of escaping from our mind then we should be wary.
Ideally mindfulness should be a way of gaining confidence and trust in our mind and ourself so that gradually our relationship to our thinking mind becomes more and more harmonious and mutually supportive; our thoughts support a healthy experience of self, and our sense of self encourages a reliable approach to thinking about our life experience.
Nathaniel Branden has in interesting definition of self-confidence, he says “Self confidence is confidence in the reliability of our mind as a tool of cognition…it is the conviction that we are genuinely committed to perceiving and honouring reality to the fullest extent of our volitional power.”
So, the long and the short of this is that in order to be genuinely and deeply self-confident, you need to learn to trust your mind, and use it as well as you are able within the limits of your ability.

Pseudo-self confidence
Quite a few people exert a lot of effort building pseudo self-confidence in order to disguise their fundamental lack of trust in their own mind and judgment. We might become very physically fit, or very wealthy, or have read all the right books about being a parent, have gained many educational certificates and degrees, or even become an expert meditator (and other examples ad infinitum) all as a way of building a buffer between ourself and our actual moment to moment experience of reality and life. Fundamentally we don’t trust our mind to be able to deal with it effectively; deep down we lack self-confidence, so we build buffers and things to hide behind.

Three mindful questions for building self-confidence and trust in your mind.
Take a situation in your life, perhaps something that you have experienced today. Ask yourself three questions in turn:
“What am I seeing and experiencing here”
“What are my mind, emotions and senses signalling to me about what I am seeing and experiencing?”
“Am I honouring my own experience and mind here or am I turning away from it?”The answer to the third question will tell you whether you are using this activity and experience to build your self-confidence and trust in your own mind, or whether you are subverting it. As the old saying goes “Many drops of water slowly dripping into a pot will eventually make it full”; in our day by day journey to self-confidence, or to a lack of it, this saying rubs both ways.Generally the challenge here is not that we don’t know enough, but that we know more than we would like, and would rather avoid the responsibility of that knowledge.

© Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com 

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation AsiaOngoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

January 29/30th, 7.30-8.30pm – Lunar new year meditation 2019: Being benevolent and big-hearted in the year of the Pig

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am :16th & 23rd February  – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturdays , 4-5.30pm – Mindfulness group coaching sessions with Toby

Saturday 26th January, 1-4pm – Growing your mindful freedom meditation workshop

Sunday 27th January, 2-5pm – Meditations for connecting to and working with your Guardian Angel

FEBRUARY

Saturday 9th February, 9.30-12.30 – Going from overwhelmed to overwell meditation workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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creative imagery Enlightened Flow Inner vision Insight Meditation meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Stress Transformation

Baseballs or confetti?

Dear Integral Meditators,

If you were to learn to deal with your suffering in life, what might start to happen to your access to rapture and joy? The article below explores this question in a practical way…

In the spirit of baseballs and confetti,

Toby
​Baseballs of confetti? 
The truth of suffering
One of the big gifts of my time as a Buddhist monk and studying Buddhism was its orientation around looking squarely at pain and suffering. Of course, Buddhas first noble noble truth is the ‘truth of suffering’; in our life it is absolutely certain that we will meet various forms of pain. The brief summary of Buddhas seven unavoidable sufferings would be: birth, ageing, sickness, death, parting from what we like, encountering things we don’t like, and uncertainty. So, the basic ‘mindful injunction’ here is ‘be ready’ because in multiple ways small and great you are going to suffer. The good news is that, if you are ready for the pain, then you can reduce the amount of pain you experience, and you can also use it to become wiser, happier and more capable in your life. Put another way, your suffering becomes useful to you.What are you expecting, a baseball or confetti?
Whether our suffering is useful to us or not depends alot upon our expectation. If you are standing there expecting life to throw confetti at you, then when a ‘baseball’ of suffering gets thrown your way, then you are going to be completely unprepared, and the likelihood is that it’s going to hit you flush in the face, and cause a lot of pain. If your ‘ready’ for the suffering, or ‘expecting the baseball to come at you’ then when it does, you can basically ‘catch’ it, without it really doing to much damage. For example:

  • If I am wrestling with uncertainties in important areas of my life, if I have a sense that this is a ‘normal’ part of everyone’s life which I expect then I’ll be ‘ready’ to have to deal with it.
  • If I expect my body to give rise to a certain amount of pain, to age and so forth, then chances are I’ll be able to work with pain when it occurs and relax more gracefully into the ageing process (and perhaps as a result staying ‘beautiful’ longer?)
  • If when I engage in a romantic relationship I expect to have my emotional triggers and vulnerabilities pressed, then there is a much better chance I’ll be able to work with them, and preserve the beauty of the love in the relationship for longer, perhaps indefinitely….

The bottom line here is, if you are ready for it, then the capacity of suffering to cause painis much reduced, and the reduction comes in large part from your expectations…

The truth of rapture
Another truth that I think is equally important to grasp, but that isn’t explicitly in Buddhas four truths (but may be implicit?), is what I call the truth of rapture. This truth is really that life contains within it inherent forms of rapture, beauty and bliss. This rapture is available to all of us, but it exists amongst the suffering, messiness, uncertainty and difficulties of our life. The big payoff of opening to the truth of suffering well and courageously is that you them start to open up spaces in your life that contain wonder, beauty and amazement. Sometimes these experiences are quiet and unobtrusive, and sometimes they come to us in waves, loudly and in technicolour. If you take care of your suffering well then there is more and more room for genuine and sustainable rapture. For example:

  • If you are prepared to meet the ‘pain’ of intimacy in a romantic relationship and deal with it mindfully, then the stage is set for a long term and sustainable experience of rapture
  • If you are prepared to accept and deal with the pain of working hard to build a business well and with integrity, then the stage is set for the long-term pleasure and joy of having done so. You can enjoy the joy of both the process and the result!
  • If you are not pre-occupied with, trying to avoid or being consumed by your suffering, then you can find quiet moments of rapture during the day, in the beauty of a view, the presence of a loved one, the passing of time and so forth…

When you know how to catch the baseballs of suffering that come your way, you may find life spontaneously and as if by accident starts to throw a lot of confetti your way!

Related article: Practical Rapture (On rapture, beauty and mindfulness)

​© Toby Ouvry 2018, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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Awareness and insight creative imagery Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindfulness Presence and being present Stress Transformation

Making your body your castle (And watch Toby’s Mindfulness TedX Talk!)

Dear  Integral Meditators,

This weeks article gives some simple mindful suggestions for bringing real stability to your life, literally, and even when under pressure!
Also, I recently discovered that a TedX talk I gave on mindfulness is up on the web. Its a pretty decent 15min primer on the vision of engaged and integral mindfulness, do have a view!

In the spirit of castle-like awareness!

Toby

1:1 Coaching offer until the end of August
On a personal level, if you are looking to meet the rest of the year with a renewed strategy for developing your work-life balance, and for dealing with your stress more effectively, until the end of August I am offering a 15% price reduction in myHandle stress and have peace of mind 1:1 coaching sessions.

Making your body your castle

Your body and your senses are your most basic, simple and stable objects of mindful awareness. They are basic and simple because they are non-conceptual, solid experiences that we encounter when we observe the physical dimension of our present moment awareness. When your mind is focused on your body and senses quite naturally it starts to feel more stable, because our body is generally much less changeable, quick and unpredictable than our thoughts and emotions.

Your body and senses are the easiest objects to train in mindfulness to begin with. This is because they are obvious and easy to find, even if we are not familiar with mindfulness practice. Everyone can become aware and focus on their body, or the sounds around them without too much trouble. Because of this they are an obvious place to begin building mindful concentration and focus. Once you are familiar with focusing on the body and senses, you can then go onto focus on thoughts, feelings and mental images as objects of mindfulness with much greater ease and success.

Solid mastery of mindfulness of the body and senses will give you tremendous stability under mental and emotional pressure. This is because they give your mind a stable anchor in the moment. Rather than feeling like you are drowning in an uncontrollable mass of thoughts and feelings, you will gradually start to feel more and more comfortable under pressure, because your attention to your body gives you a deeper sense of presence in the moment that enables calm.

Make your body like your castle 
There is an old saying that goes something like “An Englishman’s home is his (or her) castle”. The gist of this is that our physical home is a refuge where we can retreat from the world, gather our strength, heal our wounds and feel safe. If we have a physical space to retreat to it is of great value to us in terms of our peace and wellbeing. I often think about my own body as being like my ‘castle’ as I go around my day facing various challenges. As long as a part of my attention is centered in my body I have a place where I can feel strong, relaxed and solid, even if there are difficult emotions, uncertainties or negative thoughts going on.
If you like you can bear this image in mind as you cultivate your own mindful attention of your body and senses. Practice making them ‘castle-like’; solid, immense and stable amidst the whirlwind of your emotions, thoughts and activities. If you are a visually minded person, when you are sitting in meditation you might even like to imagine yourself in your very own castle, safe and calm within its strong walls. You can them bring that feeling into your body in the present moment and cultivate that feeling of physical strength and solidity.

Enhancing your bodily comfort and wellbeing
As you cultivate your awareness in this way, you will also start to notice tension, fatigue or discomfort in the body. As a result, you will naturally start to let go of that tension and look after your body better. So not only will you find more mental stability, but you will also enhance your wellbeing on a physical level!

​© Toby Ouvry 2018, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation AsiaOngoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Begins 14/15th September – Effortless effort – Insight meditation for self-healing and transformation – a five week course

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday 8th September & 29th September 9-10.15am – Qi Gong workout and meditation class
Tues 18th & Weds 18th September, 7.30-8.30pm – Autumn equinox balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday 22nd September, 10.30am-5pm – Shamanic Mandala Meditation and Art Workshop

Saturday 29th September, 2-5pm – OneHeart Open Day ‘Activating your journey of healing and empowerment’.

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Energy Meditation Meditation techniques Mindful Breathing Mindfulness Qi gong Stress Transformation

Hands on the belly to relax the brain (a short cut to sleeping at night?)

Dear  Integral Meditators,

Greetings from Berlin where I’m traveling right now! Before I left for the holidays, I facilitated a Qi gong workshop, which then led me to start having a look at some old qi gong meditation articles that I had written out a decade or so ago. The method below is one that you can use to help you fall asleep at night, and to relax your nervous system whenever you want to dial down and get out of your thinking mind for a while for a while. Enjoy!

In the spirit of conscious relaxation,

Toby

Hands on the belly to relax the brain (a short cut to sleeping at night?)

This is a very simple technique that I use often in order to calm and reduce conceptual activity and center myself fully in my body. I use it most frequently when my mind is whizzing when I lie down to go to sleep at night, or if I want to take a quick nap during the day and want to move into a state of relaxed non-conceptuality relatively fast. It can be done sitting, standing or lying down:
Simply place your hands one on top of the other on your belly, just beneath your belly button. Close your eyes, relax the brain and simply focus on the feeling of warmth that the resting hands create on the lower belly. If you like you can imagine that the lower belly area is like a magnet, and that energy from the brain is gently being attracted down into the torso by the pull of this magnet. However, to be honest I find that this is not necessary, the natural sensation of the hand on the belly does the work for you, without you having to do a lot else!
Related articles: Basic Qi Gong Belly Breathing
Meditation Technique For Brain Relaxation, Non-Conceptuality and Falling Asleep at Night.

​© Toby Ouvry 2018, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation AsiaOngoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

August program coming soon!

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology