Category: Mindful Self-Leadership

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A Mind of Ease Inner vision Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Controlling the future

W

“On a practical level I find that if I am being effective in the moment, then what I do tends to set up ‘waves’ of energy where a good, successful and/or unexpectedly pleasurable future emerges alive and well from the here and now”

Dear Integral Meditators,

The unpredictability of the future is a big thing right now, in the article below I outline a few mindful positions will help you set up a way of working with the future that is both sustainable, enjoyable and effective!

The Men’s Group starts again on the 27th April, online of course, as is this Saturdays Livestream Beginners meditation workshop.

In the spirit if the present dancing into the future,

Toby

Controlling the future

Mindfulness is not just about being ‘in the present moment’, it’s also about developing a conscious relationship to how we approach and think about the past and future.
If you look at the source if much of your anxiety and fear, much will be about the future. Because the future is by definition uncertain, a certain degree of anxiety and concern is natural. However, if we respond to this anxiety by obsessively trying to control and predict the future, then that won’t help us too much. Reasons for this include:

  • We aren’t very good about trying to predict the future. What actually happens in the future often defies and contradicts our best predictions
  • Trying to hard to control the future leads to mental rigidity, where we close ourself off to options arising in the present moment that could give rise to a better future than the one we are trying so hard to create through control

Having said this, General Eisenhower also said:
“No battle was ever won according to plan, but no battle was ever won without one…plans are useless but planning is indispensable”

For me this captures very well the dilemma about how to approach the future. You have to think ahead and plan, but you also have to let go and meet the future as it arises in this moment, and be prepared to dance and improvise!
With this in mind, here is a simple mindful pattern or process that you can establish in order to work effectively with the future:

  1. For a short period of time in your day, bring your attention to your future. With all your mindful wisdom and intelligence, plan, strategize and set up tasks for the next 24 hours or so that you think gives you the best chance of getting you to your best future.
  2. Then, stop dwelling on the future! Focus on relaxing into the present moment, keeping your attention on what you are doing. Avoid rumination, unnecessary anxiety, and trying to predict or trying control the future.
  3. Set aside a ‘next time’ when you are going to think about the future. Before that time, if you notice yourself dwelling anxiously on uncertainty, or trying to predict or control, let go of it and come back to the present moment, Just stop! Focus on relaxing, and on the execution of your chosen tasks.

This practice enables you to set up a positive polarity between:

  • Effective, conscious thinking regarding the future, and
  • Enjoyment of the present moment, and the effective execution of your activities in that moment

The funny thing is, on a practical level I find that if I am being effective in the moment, then what I do tends to set up ‘waves’ of energy where a good, successful and/or unexpectedly pleasurable future emerges alive and well from the here and now.
Enjoy dancing from the present into the future!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Starts April 27th 7-8.15pm – The Men’s Group Online – The path of conscious manhood

How can you move from coping to thriving in your life as a man?

Much is asked of men in their traditional roles as fathers and sons, partners and husbands, students and teachers, employees and employers….read full details

Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now Online – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

This practical and super short (90min) workshop teaches you:

  • What meditation is and how it works
  • How to start your own effective daily meditation practice with just a five minute a day commitment
  • Provides you not only with the workshop but also with support materials; MP3 meditation recordings (1×15 minute and 3x 5 minute), short articles and diagrams to help you keep meditating after the workshop.

Online Integral Meditation & Mindfulness classes

Build focus, beat stress, cultivate wellbeing!

Each session involves simple practices that you can apply to make a real difference to your wellbeing and effectiveness in life…full details of classes

Online Class schedule:

Sunday evening, 6-.45pm – Class link: https://zoom.us/j/675470535

Monday lunchtime, 12.30-1.15pm – Class link: https://zoom.us/j/590663680

Tuesday lunchtime, 12.30-1.15pm – Class link: https://zoom.us/j/321314189

Tuesday Evening: 7.30-8.30pm – Class link: https://zoom.us/j/555319558

Wednesday Evening: 7.30-8.30pm – Class link: https://zoom.us/j/609271461

Thursday evening, 18.30-19.15 – Class link: https://zoom.us/j/757015034

All classes in Singapore time. Not in Singapore? Check the time for your country HERE.

How to sign up: Simply message info@tobyouvry.com or +6596750279 with the time of the class that you wish to attend. The link to attend each class is next to the class. Then make payment using the methods detailed below.

Cost: SGD$30 per class, or set of 4 classes for $100

Payment can be made in Singapore using PayNow on +6596750279, Or you can use the PayPal Link HERE to pay from anywhere in the world.

To pay for a set of 4 classes on PayPal, click HERE.

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Weekly Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 25th April 10.30am-12noon – ONLINE Get your meditation practice started now – The shortest & most time effective meditation course ever

Starts April 27th 7-8.15pm – The Men’s Group Online – The path of conscious manhood

Friday, Sat, Sunday 17,18,19th April Online – The Qi Gong Foundation Program & Program for coaches and trainers 

Tues 5th & Weds May 6th – Online Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Ongoing  – The Integral Mindfulness & Meditation Online Program, January-July 2020

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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A Mind of Ease Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope Presence and being present Stress Transformation

Mindfully getting outside of your comfort zone

W
“Often, discovering the best that is possible for us in life involves deliberately, soulfully and mindfully getting out of our comfort zone! What can you start with today?”
 W
Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores the relationship between comfort and discomfort, and how to create a complementary relationship between the two. You can also watch my video on the subject: Getting mindfully comfortable in order to get out of your comfort zone.In the spirit of getting comfortable with the uncomfortable,

Toby

Mindfully getting outside of your comfort zone

The ‘improvements’ of contemporary life
If you look at the way in which our life has gotten better as a result of technology, a lot of it has to do with comfort. You can get your favourite restaurant food ordered to your door, you can find information about whatever you want on Google, you can communicate with everyone thru your phone without having to leave your chair. The thing to notice about this is that comfort is not the same thing as greater fulfillment, happiness or well-being. Indeed, many forms of fulfillment and reward in life require and initial risk, or getting out of our comfort zone in order to receive the genuine reward of improved quality of life.
If we don’t watch out, we can get trapped in a subtle addiction to pursuing comfort in the false expectation that it can give us fulfillment on a deeper level, which of course it can’t.

So then, one really useful mindful question to ask ourselves is: “What can I do today to get out of my comfort zone and move towards deeper fulfillment?”
The purpose of this question is to ensure that we don’t get trapped in our comfort zone in a way that denies us the possibility a truly fulfilling, exciting and dynamic life.

Getting physically out of your comfort zone
An obvious and basic place to start is the physical level. Getting out of your comfort zone physically enables us to get fit, build physical skills and abilities, and avoid the consequences of an overly sedentary life.

Getting out of your emotional, mental and relational comfort zone
For many people getting out of their psychological and social comfort zone represents a bigger risk than just getting out of their physical one. Expanding your emotional range, spending time with people that are outside of your normal social circle all requires effort and discomfort. However, the consequent reward, fulfilment, and expansion of possibilities for us often rewards the effort many times over.

Combining genuine comfort and ease with engaging discomfort
Of course this isn’t saying that we shouldn’t  Have good quality periods of ease and restorative comfort in our life. Indeed, I’m writing this on my way back from a deeply enjoyable and ease inducing holiday! The practice here is to dance each day between healthy comfort and healthy discomfort, the goal in mind being to act In a way that brings us as much genuine fulfillment as possible.
Often, discovering the best that is possible for us in life involves deliberately, soulfully and mindfully getting out of our comfort zone! What can you start with today?

Watch Toby’s video on getting mindfully out of your comfort zone here: 

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020.

The Life-fullness Life Coaching Program with Toby

Life-fullness coaching is a unique integration of mindfulness and life-coaching that is designed to help you lead a progressively more awakened life. The essence of the Life-fullness approach is to integrate the different parts of who we are into complementary strengths so that we can really experience ourselves living our life to its fullest…

Watch Toby talking about the  Life-fullness Program:

All upcoming classes and workshops for January 2020

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Starts Monday January 13th, 6.30-8pm – The Men’s group, the path of conscious manhood

The Integral Mindfulness & Meditation Online Program, January-July 2020

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight creative imagery Inner vision Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Art meditation and creativity Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

Mindful of your inner artist (Being solar not lunar) article & video

W
“The ‘mindful artist’ first of all notices that their thoughts, actions and interactions are creative, fundamentally. The next position they take is to choose to direct that creativity in a deliberate way so that s/he ‘creating’ the best things that they can in your life”
W
Dear Integral Meditators,

What does it mean to become the ‘artist of your life?’ In the article below I offer a few thoughts on this!New year is also a good time to think about new personal directions and growth, I’ve created a new video for my Life-fullness Life coaching program, that you can view below the article.

In the spirit of mindful creativity,

Toby

Mindful of your inner artist (Being solar not lunar)

‘Everyone is an artist’
Yesterday I watched the new Joseph Beuys documentary “Beuys on Beuys”. Beuys was one of the biggest influences on me when I was at art school. His idea that ‘Everyone is an artist’ was one that decisively transitioned me from being an outer artist, or object maker to being an ‘inner artist’ or a meditator. By a meditator here I mean working primarily with mind, thoughts, attention and states of being as a way of influencing, contributing to and changing the world.
Beuys’s essential point was that since we all think, act and interact in the world, we are all creative beings, beings who affect change. By becoming conscious, deliberate and mindful about this, we can direct our creative energy deliberately toward our life and society in order to effect positive, creative change.

Mindful of your inner artist
So the object of mindfulness here is to first of all notice that your thoughts, actions and interactions are creative, fundamentally. The next position to take is to choose to direct your creativity in a deliberate way so that you are ‘creating’ the best things that you can in your life. For example:

  • If you come back tired from work in the evening, rather than just being passive and reactive with your family/friends you are thinking ‘How can I create an enjoyable atmosphere here?’ This is even (and especially) if you are a bit tense or moody
  • As you are hanging out the laundry you are aware of what you are thinking, and gently directing your attention and awareness toward beautiful and constructive patterns of thinking and feeling. You are looking to use your imagination and attention in active generative ways.
  • When you are having a meeting, you are actively looking to create connection, empathy and meaning with the people that you are with. You are looking to inspire good energy in a way that will help the group become a force of the good in some way.

Becoming Solar, rather than Lunar
One way in which I often explain becoming a mindful artist is that you are becoming solar rather than lunar in nature. The moon relies upon the reflected light of the sun for its light, it has no light of its own. This is like many people, they are reactive, they rely on the power of others for their own power. For example, they have power because of the position they hold in a company, but if you separate them from that position or label, they have very little sense of their own power. Their power is reflected, lunar. A mindful artist however is a source of power and energy. S/he is a generative person. You can rely on such a person to create goodwill, inspiration, direction. If there is a situation where there is a challenge, they can be relied upon to be actively working something out.
If you meet a person who is solar in nature, who is a mindful artist, this tends to be felt and experienced by their presence. It is something that they embody, it is in their physical and somatic being, not just their mind and intellect.
What can you start with today in order to become the mindful artist that you are, and express your solar nature?

Watch Toby on Becoming the artist of your life:

Related articles: Mindfulness – Becoming the sculptor of your reality
Moving from being a consumer to being a producer

The Life-fullness Life Coaching Program with Toby

Life-fullness coaching is a unique integration of mindfulness and life-coaching that is designed to help you lead a progressively more awakened life. The essence of the Life-fullness approach is to integrate the different parts of who we are into complementary strengths so that we can really experience ourselves living our life to its fullest…

Watch Toby talking about the  Life-fullness Program:

 

All upcoming classes and workshops for January 2020

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Starts Monday January 13th, 6.30-8pm – The Men’s group, the path of conscious manhood

Starts Friday 17th January – The Integral Mindfulness & Meditation Online Program, January-July 2020

Friday, Sat, Sunday 7,8,9th February & Friday, Sat, Sunday 21,22,23rd February – The Qi Gong Foundation Program & Program for coaches and trainers 

Sunday 9th February, 7.30-8.30pm – Lunar New Year Meditation 2020: Developing your inner-resourcefulness & practical wisdom in the year of the Rat

Integral Meditation AsiaOnline Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Combining your Beginners Mind & your Wise Mind

W

“There is an art to combining your beginners and experienced mind that will enable you to be successful in your chosen endeavors, as well as derive more pleasure and enjoyment from them”

 W

Dear Integral Meditators,

As we sit in between the Western new year and the Chinese Lunar year, it can be an interesting time to cultivate our beginners mind, in balance with our experienced mind. The article below offers a few practical ways to start!
The Wednesday classes this week will be on the subject of the article, and the next Beginners Meditation Workshop is on Saturday the 18th.

In the spirit of the journey,

Toby

Songs of Innocence and Experience – Combining your beginners mind with your wise mind

Your beginners mind (BM) is your ability to come to a task or experience with curiosity, as if for the first time.  It may be an experience that you have had many times before, or you may literally be doing it for the first time. Either way your beginners mind is a learning mindset. It watches closely, absorbing as much information as it can. Think of a child intensely interested and involved in trying to ride a bike for the first time, and you get the idea. Your BM is happy to try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, until it succeeds.
Your beginners mind helps you to keep on learning as you get older, keep your enthusiasm for life, keep you positively humble. Your BM helps you learn new things faster, and prevents you taking familiar good things in your life for granted. Mentally it keeps you young, flexible and joyful.
The beginners mind should not be confused with simply being naïve, childish, or getting bored easily and so giving up on tasks before they are done or mastered!

Your experienced mind (EM) is the sum total of all your life experience up to this point. It knows a lot of things that are very useful in helping you navigate all the situations and choices that you have to go through each day. You might think of it as the wise old man or woman within you that compares what is happening in the moment to the past in order to see if there are any patterns, experiences or learning’s that you already have that can help you with what you are facing right now.
Your EM helps you to leverage on what you know already in order to prevent you making mistakes. It saves you time, helps avoid pain, and enjoy greater success with regard to  what you are experiencing in the moment. It recognizes that in many situations we are not complete beginners, and that that is a very good thing!
Your experienced mind should not be confused with that part of you that becomes cynical, jaded, or that thinks it ‘knows it all’. It is intelligent, helpful and alert.

Integrating your beginners and your experienced mindsets
From an integral mindfulness point of view, we try to combine the best of our beginner’s mind and experienced mind together, so they are helping each other, and us to meet our life challenges more successfully. One simple way to start doing this is to ask two questions regarding any challenge you have, and want to extract practical learning from:

  1. If I view this situation as if for the first time, what do I see and observe?
  2. What is my past experience and learning telling me about this situation?

Sit with each question for a short while, and see what perspectives and insights come from both. You can then combine them into a wise approach to your experience that combines your ability to learn in the moment (beginners mind) with your ability to use past experience effectively (experienced mind).

A simple example
Forty minutes ago I sat down to write this article. I felt a bit nervous and unsure about the content, but my experienced mind (EM) told me that if I just started mapping it out and writing, I would find the idea translated into an article.  I then set aside my EM and brought my BM to the task, seeing the content ‘as if for the first time, paying attention to the present, being curious and enthusiastic. Now here I am, at the end of my article, my work complete. It’s a simple example. How could you combine your beginners and experienced mind today in order to be successful in your chosen endeavor?

Click here to listen to a 20 minute beginners mind meditation that I recently recorded.

Related article: Appreciating the past to liberate the present

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Strong back, soft front

W
“By practicing a physically ‘strong back, soft front’ posture, we can get a feeling of what it is like to be inwardly strong and at the same time gentle on a psychological level.”
W 

Dear Toby,

This weeks article looks considers how physical posture can invite psychological change, and how you can cultivate real inner strength.

In the spirit of  strength and gentleness,

Toby

Strong back, soft front

Traditional meditation posture involves sitting up straight, with an unsupported back. The head and neck are above the chest and shoulders, chest above the belly, belly sitting above the hips, like a stack of bricks. One reason for this is that meditation is about alertness as much as relaxation. If you lean against something, it may be relaxing, but the danger of your alertness dipping increases. So we can sit upright to cultivate this balance of relaxation and alertness upon which all effective meditation and mindfulness relies.

Soft front, strong back
As you are sitting up straight with a strong back, you can also deliberately soften the front of your body, the chest, belly and face. So you have a soft front, backed up by a strong backbone. This can be a physical posture that reminds us of how to be in life; we can present a gentle, restrained face to the world, because we know we are strong inside. Because we are inwardly strong, we are confident enough to be gentle outside (unless it is appropriate not to be so for a specific reason).

Armoring the front to hide a weak back
Often in life our position is the opposite of strong back, soft front. We feel afraid and insecure on the inside (weak back), and so to compensate we present a strong, armored, even aggressive front to the world to compensate. This affects our sense of who we are, and how other people experience us. By practicing the ‘strong back, soft front’ posture, we can get a bodily feeling of what it is like to be inwardly strong and at the same time gentle on a psychological level.

Practicum
Spend a little time each day sitting with a strong back and soft front. Let your body learn to recognize what this feels like. As you go about your daily activities, experiment with what it is like to feel strong inside and so gentle on the outside. Try talking and acting from this place in your relationships and in the way that you interact with the world. Notice how this changes how you participate in your life, and the opportunities for creative change it opens for you.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Tuesday and Wednesday 17,18 December – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight Enlightened Flow Inner vision Integral Awareness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness One Minute Mindfulness

Allowing & Participating – Rethinking ‘being in control’

W
“By mindfully combining allowing and participating we can control things better, without feeling the need to be so ‘in control”
M 

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article offers a couple of practical thoughts on how to re-frame our idea of being in control in a way that means less stress and more effectiveness. This weeks Wednesday meditation class will be focusing on how to work with these ideas!

In the spirit of participation,

Toby

Allowing & Participating – Rethinking ‘being in control’

I’ve recently been experiencing a time in my life where there are so many factors undergoing change that inevitably anxiety keeps coming up. When change occurs, especially deep and radical change, the part of us that wants to feel ´in control’ inevitably feels stressed because the situation feels ´out of control’.
I did a session with a client about the same topic. She was fighting with a similar feeling of trying to be ‘in control’ whilst feeling so many factors ‘out of control’. One of the ways in which we reframed our situation was to use the polarity of ‘accepting and participating’ rather than ‘in control or out of control’.
In control and out of control is a win-lose game; to control is to win, to be out of control is to loose. With allowing and participating:

  • We allow things to be uncertain, unfixed, to an extent beyond our control. By accepting we relax more comfortably into the situation we find ourself without unnecessary struggle
  • By participating, we look for ways to dance with and influence the situation in creative and constructive ways. Without trying to fix everything at once, we enjoy engaging and participating with our life each day through action that is as intelligent and playful as we are able.

When we practice allowing and participating, we can create a win-win experience: We can relax with things we can’t totally control, while staying active and engaged.
By mindfully combining allowing and participating we can control things better, without feeling the need to be so ‘in control’.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Tues  10th & Weds 11th December – Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Saturday 14th & 15th December, 2-5.30pm – The Mindful Heart Meditation Workshop

Tuesday and Wednesday 17,18 December – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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creative imagery Inner vision Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership One Minute Mindfulness Stress Transformation

Finding ledges on the steep climb

W
“During the day I practice ‘returning to a ledge’ several times, creating a safe, appreciative space where I can look after myself and also feel that the steep climb of my life is do-able, and that it is all worth it!”
S
Dear Toby,
This weeks article describes an image that I have been using for a while to enjoy and appreciate my life, even when it feels like ‘the pressure is on’! I sometimes offer it as a pratice to my coaching clients when they are going through times of stress. I hope you enjoy it.This weekend has the beginners meditation workshop on Saturday morning for those interested.In the spirit of ledges,

Toby

Finding ledges on the steep climb

I sometimes think about my life as a climb up a cliff face. Particularly when times are stressful, seemingly relentless and demanding I imagine myself climbing a steep cliff, with the destination a long way above and out of site. For most of the climb it is simply about looking around and reaching up for the next hand of foot hold, one after the next. Without a break, this would seem intimidating, so I imagine that on this climb there are small ledges that are just big enough for me to climb on and sit down. Here I can relax, regenerate and take temporary refuge. In my minds eye during the day I imagine I have reached one of these ledges. I sit and:

  • Look down of the most recent part of my climb and appreciate myself for having made the progress.
  • I imagine there is a light breeze and perhaps some sunlight. I look at the view of the landscape I have around me
  • Perhaps there are one or two rock flowers on the ledge, that help me to connect to the beauty in my life, and to know that my life is good, even amidst the pressure.
  • I breathe and take in the fresh air, I allow myself to pause and feel safe for this moment in my journey
  • I gather my strength and heart, and when I am ready I turn around and set of up the next section of my climb, renewed and more clear headed

During the day I practice ‘returning to a ledge’ several times, creating a safe, appreciative space where I can look after myself and also feel that the steep climb of my life is do-able, and that it is all worth it!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday November 16th, 11.30am-1pm – Get your meditation pratice started now – The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday November 23rd, 10am-1pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing

Starts Sunday November 3rd – A six week mindfulness course for adults with ADHD

Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Enlightened love and loving Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present Primal Spirituality

From coping to thriving: The path of conscious manhood

W

Dear Toby,

What is it going to take for men to thrive in their maleness in toady’s world? The article below some practical reflections on this!

In the spirit of  benevolent manhood,

Toby

 

From coping to thriving: The path of conscious manhood

What (or where) is the path of men in today’s world?
We are all aware of the women’s movement, it’s called feminism. If you are a woman and want to explore ways of feeling more liberated and powerful, then its quite easy to find places, forums, reading around your female identity that can help you. If I then ask you ‘What is the men’s movement called?’ It is likely that you’d have to pause for a moment. Then you’d realize that there really isn’t a well-known ‘men’s movement’ whose purpose within culture is to support men. the reality is that the ‘men’s movement’ is about 30-40 years behind the women’s. This is important, because if you are a man it means that it is far more difficult to find places where you can explore your masculinity and struggles as a man. Whether they are aware of it or not, many men find themselves isolated in their struggles, and deeply confused about how to even talk about it, let alone handle it with confidence.

What is male liberation?
One helpful definition of feminism (following Ken Wilber) is ‘the liberation of women from unconscious roles’. Women can choose to be housewives, mothers, carer’s, but now they can choose to have careers, go boxing, be loud and assertive. They are (ideally) no longer bound unconsciously by traditional roles, and make their choices consciously.
The thing about this is that men have many unconscious roles too; the provider, the warrior, the strong stoic one, the silent type, the bad boy, the good boy, the ‘alpha’ male, the ‘beta’ male. The list goes on. The fact is that if you’re a guy it’s likely that:

  • You are trapped in a number of unconscious roles that you aren’t aware of
  • Its difficult to discover what they are because no one is talking about it much
  • You are suffering and struggling in a way that you needn’t because you are trapped in these roles unconsciously
  • Emotions such as guilt or shame are present for you, and your range of emotions that can give you real joy, pleasure and thriving are limited

So then, male liberation is quite simply ‘the liberation of men from their own traditional unconscious roles’. Like with women, this doesn’t mean that you can’t engage in traditional roles such as a provider or warrior, it just means you are doing it consciously, and integrating other non-traditional roles into your male path in a way that enables you to thrive and feel empowered alongside your female friends, lovers and colleagues as they tread their own path of liberation.

Some essential questions
These are either to ask yourself as a man (or to ask your male friends if you are a woman!):

  • What roles as a man am I currently trapped in? And what is the price I am paying?
  • What would my idea of my own path of ‘conscious manhood’ be? How can I start exploring and articulating it?
  • To whom do I (or could I) go to for support in my path of male liberation and thriving?
  • What can I do today to get on that path?

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Monday Setember 2nd, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Starting October 5th – The Integral Meditation Program for Coaches, Counsellors and Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and deep wellness

 

Integral Meditation Asia

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Awareness and insight Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Presence and being present

On appreciation, gratitude and impermanence

W
“When you truly know what you have is transient, then you can short-circuit the natural tendency that we all have to take things for granted. This in turn gives us a powerful incentive to appreciate what we have, and make the most of it today.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article is a personal reflection on impermanence, which is frankly one of the most powerful objects of mindfulness ‘in there’!

The 20% early bird offer on the Integral Mindfulness Program has now finished, but you can still get 15% off by signing up this week.
Tuesday and Wednesday meditation class this week are the first a series of six classes on the theme of Zen.
Then on Saturday we re-start the Qi gong workout and meditation session at 9am, and then the monthly Meditation workshop for beginners is at 11am.

In the spirit of  impermanence and appreciation,

Toby

On appreciation, gratitude and impermanence

Impermanence
When I first started meditating consistently in 1994, the first object of focus was on death and impermanence. I was teaching art and design at a school at the time. Every morning I would get up and meditate for twenty minutes on:

  • The certainty of my death and the uncertainty of its time
  • That at death I would travel from my body without any of the physical wealth, property and resources from this life, as well as without my loved ones that I would be leaving behind
  • From this I then focused on the resolution to make best use of the time I had today. To live fully and meaningfully according to my values and highest goals, so that when I die I do so without regrets.

I also imagined the death process, and observed how, if my breathing stopped at any moment, then my life would have about two minutes left to run. I (and you) hold onto life by a thin thread! This gave rise to a very ‘clean’ focused mind where I was able to drop many smaller concerns, and spend most of my day attending to what is important.

Bringing it home 
The purpose of meditating in this way is to bring our mind into a fuller recognition of our reality; we are living in a state of continuous impermanence, and we have limited time to achieve our potential in the world; to love, to contribute, to participate, to engage powerfully and benevolently.
Recently two people important to me died unexpectedly. A very good friend of my family, Hugh Buck died while leading a wildlife trip in Morocco. With his passing a whole section of my childhood memories in Asia moves into the context of someone who will never return (as the person he was in this life). Two weeks ago a good friend of mine and mentor in the recent phase of my own coaching development, Mark Hemstedt died suddenly and unexpectedly while leading a training program in KL.
While we would not wish these things to happen, the reality is they do sometimes, and sooner or later it will happen to us. Knowing that viscerally helps us make use of the time we have authentically.

Impermanence and gratitude
Mainstream mindfulness has almost become ubiquitous with gratitude practice. One way to really change the context and power of your gratitude is to combine it with a conscious awareness of impermanence. When you know what you have is transient, then you can short-circuit the natural tendency that we all have to take things for granted. This in turn gives us a powerful incentive to appreciate what we have, and make the most of it today.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday 10th August, 2-5.30pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 24th August, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness One Minute Mindfulness

Mindful of: Your tone of voice 

M
Dear Integral Meditators,

So much of our life is spent communicating, it’s definitely worthwhile investing out time, attention and intelligence to ´craft’ your messages and their tones wisely and benevolently. This weeks article explores some practical ways of doing this!

Final reminder of this Saturdays  Practical introduction to Qi gong workshop, 9.30am-1pm, Tuesday meditation classes re-start next week 😉

In the spirit of tone,

Toby

Mindful of: Your tone of voice 

I have recently come to the end of a three week holiday where we have been travelling in France, Spain and England. As you probably know, holidays can be fun and relaxing, but they can also be quite stressful, as the different personalities of all those traveling run up against each other!
One of the ways that I have focused on mindfulness practice as I have been traveling is to be aware of the tone of my voice as I communicate. I have found this to be a super useful way of managing my own moods, and saying what I want to say in a way that is helpful to my fellow travellers.
Speaking is not just what you say, it’s the way that you say it. Even with very basic words such as ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ here are a huge variety of tones with which you say it that completely change the message and mood.
So, as a mindfulness practice tone of voice can be thought of as consisting of two questions:

  1. ‘What do I want to say?’
  2. ´What is the best way to say what I want to say?’

The first question is about the basic message. The second is about the delivery; what is the tone of voice and way of wording your message that will maximise the chance of it being effective, and giving the best result for everyone concerned? If you spend a few moments before you speak on these two questions, then it’s surprising the changes that you can make for the better.
So much of our life is spent communicating, it’s definitely worthwhile investing out time, attention and intelligence to ´craft’ your messages and their tones wisely and benevolently.

Here are two other areas to pay attention to around tone:
Your tone tells you your mood– Quite often we are not fully aware of our mood or emotional state until we say something, and our tone tells us a lot about what we are feeling. So simply listening to your tone of voice can be a very interesting and useful thing to pay attention to.
Increase your range of positive tones -Get to know what a range of positive tones sound like and practice them. For example, an assertive tone (as opposed to aggressive), loving/caring, light (as opposed to heavy), serious, inquisitive, sincere, calm, or joyful. Try and develop the range of tones that you have available to use consciously.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday 10th August, 2-5.30pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 24th August, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology