“We can feel many different ways at any given time, & all of them can be true”
Dear Integral Meditators,
This week’s article looks at the state of being ‘saffron’ which is an idea & experience that I have been working with a lot these last couple of weeks.
This week’s Wednesday & Saturday meditation classes are on the subject of the witness self, inner agility & staying on the tail of the sharks of your mind!
In the spirit of positive paradox,
Toby
Going Saffron – being many ways at once
I met a friend whom I had not seen for a while last Thursday. She asked me how I was, to which I replied that I was feeling very ‘saffron’. She asked me what I meant by this, to which I replied that when a cloth is died with saffron (as in the Saffron the spice derived from the flower of the Crocus, used for spices, dyes ect) the saffron ‘colour’ is, in fact a number of colours at the same time. If you look at it from on angle it is yellow, from another gold, another orange, from another red. Saffron is a number of different colours ‘all at once’.
So, what I meant when I said I was feeling saffron was that I was feeling lots of different ways all at the same time:
- In some ways stressed and tired
- In some ways calm and strong
- In some ways angry and disappointed
- In some ways resolute and optimistic
- In some ways persecuted, in other ways grateful and enthusiastic
The thing about it is that ALL of the way I felt was true, and that I felt comfortable holding the paradox between them all. The totality of it then, was a rich and textured feel, like the depth of colour in saffron.
I think most people reading this will be able to relate to this in some way. Much of the time we have a number if ‘dimensions’ to how we are in the moment. We may be able to relate to some of those ways more than others. For example, you might be feeling 40% nervous, 30% excited, 20% calm, 5% catastrophizing and 5% confident (!)
Playing with what you identify with
Within all those different ways however, you will identify more strongly or weakly with the qualities that are turning up. For example, even though calm is there, your sense of identification may be with the nervousness, so it dominates. It can be really useful to understand that this sense of identity is not fixed and can be played with. You can consciously choose to notice the part of you that is calm, and bring it to the ‘front and center of your awareness, rather than off to the side somewhere. Just changing its position ‘in the field’ can make a surprising difference.
Harmonizing your colours, not clashing them
Another aspect of this is finding ways for the qualities to complement and harmonize the different qualities, rather than feeling as if they are clashing or fighting with each other. For example:
- Rather than trying to escape from the stress and make the calmness ‘win’, we can use the calmness as a way of soothing the stressed part. Perhaps the stressed part may then be able to move toward excitement, so you the get a complementary ‘calm-yet-excited state
- The optimistic part of you can help the ‘disappointed’ part of you to mellow a bit and become a little more accepting
- The grateful part of self can combine with the resolute self to create a softer, more adaptable strength
With mindful awareness, there are lots of ways in which you can start to notice and play with your saffron states, making your life and experience richer in the process.
Actually, I’ve started using this term ‘saffron’ state after reding about ‘Saffron Tara’, who is one of the twenty-one Tara’s in Tibetan Buddhism. I want to finish this article with a quote from Rachel Wooten’s book ‘Tara – the liberating power of the female Buddha’:
“Saffron Tara’s appearance – She appears in a radiant body of saffron light. The otherworldly beauty of this colour, shimmering with multiple shades simultaneously, reminds you – especially in difficult times – of the preciousness of your life, the wealth of the teachings, the “all at once” quality of limitless awakened consciousness that she embodies, and the joyful aliveness that calls to you from your depths.
Her facial expression conveys both wrathfulness and peace. Contemplate her along with her expression and imagine how this might happen. Could you feel the fierce red of anger, the luminosity of golden-yellow, and the brightness of orange all at once? Can you connect with the peace that resonates in your connection to the Source of existence and the aliveness of your body consciousness while tending to anxieties as they appear in daily life?”
Related reading: Paradox therapy & the difference between a psychological crisis and a spiritual crisis
© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com
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