August 2026 – Toby Ouvry Meditation

“Is now the time to be patient and accepting, or is it time to rattle the cage, shake the tree and be positively impatient?”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article focuses on a theme that I have found very real and useful in a number of my coaching sessions with clients over the past few weeks.

Making the distinction between patience and positive impatience releases the potential for greater balance and harmony in our life, even when under duress!

The 15minutes a week Stress-Transformation online program starts next Monday!
It is available at a 50% discount if you get it with either the Wednesday class, Saturday Deep-dive or workshop versions of the stress-transfromation programs (which can be done live, online or via recording).

In the spirit of patient impatience,

Toby

Article: Patient, or positively impatient?

Patience, and patient acceptance are major life-skills that, when applied effectively give us more peace of mind, help us reduce unnecessary energy wastage, and increase our effectiveness in the face of challenges.
Patient acceptance can be contrasted with impatience, pushing too hard and at the wrong time, in a way that is often impulsive and not thought out.

However, the patience described above also has a ‘lower expression’ characterized by:

Accepting things that we should not/ don’t have to accept, for example out of fear and insecurity
Going with the flow of a situation that it may be better not to tolerate or stay in
Not recognizing that things have changed, and what was appropriate to have been accepting is now something to be appropriately intolerant to

Similarly, the imbalanced impatience described above also has a place or context where it becomes ‘positive impatience’. We can use the energy of positive impatience to change things that it is time we changed, break out of patterns that it is time we broke out of.

Micro and macro expressions of this balance

The patience/positive impatience balance can play itself out on both a larger scale and a more short-term daily/hourly manner.
On a larger time-scale for example, this year I have decided to make certain changes to my work-life where I am really trying to be intolerant to certain older patterns that served me in the past, but if they persist, they are I danger of limiting my progress. Towards these I am applying ‘positive impatience’ or ‘balanced intolerance’. At the same time, I have also noticed that I am feeling tired and impatient with certain of my work practices, but I feel the time to change these or give them up is not yet here. So, in regard to these, I am adopting an attitude of patience and acceptance, relaxing into the flow of them rather than agitating for change.

On a smaller, micro timescale, today I am mixing up family activities, work and household tasks. There are times where I am itching to get on with work, where I will need to accept that urge and then let it go, being accepting that now is not the time. At other times in the day, I may be feeling lethargic or avoidant regarding work but, because it is the right time, I need to be positively impatient and push through the resistance, utilizing my positive impatience. On a daily basis I might oscillate several times between the two, moving from acceptance to impatience as the circumstances demand, or as I see fit.

So then, a good question to ask yourself in situations that you face is:
“Is now the time to be patient and accepting, or is it time to rattle the cage, shake the tree and be positively impatient?”

Related article: Are You Going With the Flow or Just Drifting With the Current?

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Live workshops & online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

“A confident relationship to our stress sets us up for a lifetime of curiosity, wonder, excitement & adventure. An adverse relationship to it sets us up for a path of anxiety, oppression, limitation and fear”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s newsletter is on four stress-transformation ‘flips’. If you are wondering what stress-transformation looks like as a meditation you can also listen to a 15minute guided meditation on these four aspects of stress-transformation.

The 15minutes a week Stress-Transformation online program features a wide, creative range of meditations like this 15minute recording. As well as it’s buy-alone price, it is available at a 50% discouont if you get it with either the Wednesday class, Saturday Deep-dive or workshop versions of the stress-transfromation programs (which can be done live, online or via recording).

In the spirit of confidence in transformation,

Toby

Article: Four stress-transformation ‘flips’

There are many, many ways of transforming difficult, debilitating stress into positive or growth stress. Over the years I’ve developed lots of fun, creative techniques for doing so that I continue to teach in my meditation classes, and coach around in my coaching sessions. What I am going to do here is to outline four essential ‘stages’ or ‘flips’ that are foundational to all stress transformation practices. They work as individual units of practice, but I find that when they are put together and practiced sequentially in this order, they become exponentially more effective. In this context ‘flipping’ simply means flipping from debilitating stress to growth, or positive stress.

Witnessing – from fighting it to being curious about it

The first position then is witnessing. It means to step back from your stress and, rather than being caught up in, identified with or fighting it, to observe and be curious about it. Watch it and get to know it with your observational awareness, try to take it incrementally less seriously, give yourself room to play.

Flowing – from resisting emotion to feeling and releasing them

The second position is to notice your experience of emotions around the stress, if possible, naming them. Having done this, then rather than trying to get rid of them, or indulging them, or repressing them, set up a pattern of breathing whereby as you inhale you are feeling/experiencing some of that emotion, and exhaling you are relaxing into it/releasing it. An emotion is a type of feeling; feelings want to be felt. By consciously allowing yourself to feel and then release stressful emotions, they become much more workable.

Framing – from being lost in the inner conversation to creating it
Here we take position one, witnessing, and apply it specifically to noticing our inner conversation around the stress. Simply watching and dis-identifying from the self-talk can be really useful in itself. But here was are also then concerned amount making creative alterations to the narrative that ‘spin’ the conversation in a more useful direction. “I can’t do it and so I’ll never be able to do it” is a completely different conversation from “I can’t do it yet, but by trying and failing I will learn how before too long”.

Appreciating – from feeling unlucky and hard done-by to appreciating the opportunity
In all situations with stress, there is an opportunity to grow, something to be learned, something that we can put to use. Appreciating what the stress we are under can do for us gives us a way to value it, to get excited about it rather than feeling anxious or oppressed by it. It also gives us a purpose and direction to move our stress towards, something we can do with it. Rather than being in the way of our path, it can become the path itself!

Stress is so much a part of our life that our relationship to it is literally ‘life-defining’! A positive relationship with our stress sets us up for a lifetime of curiosity, wonder, excitement and adventure. An adverse relationship to it sets us up for a path of anxiety, oppression, limitation and fear . These four ‘flips’ give us a chance to make even our most difficult stress workable, and to make us confident in the face of it.

Listen to the four stress-transformation flips guided meditation by Toby

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Live workshops & online courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology