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No such thing as a bad situation? – Mindful life-sculpting

“How can you create, or ‘sculpt’ your present experience into something valuable, worthwhile, fulfilling? What if it was not primarily about it, but you?”

Dear <<First Name>>, 

This week’s article looks at the theme of mindful-life sculpting, where you use your mind & attention to ‘sculpt’ your expereince. As a sculptor by training, its a perenially interesting theme for me.

A reminder of the Wednesday evening & Saturday afternoon chakra meditation & non-duality summer courses. If you are looking for methods that are both profoundly relaxing & transformative, do have a look!
Programs can be participated in live, online or via the recordngs. Click below for full details.

In the spirit of energised relaxation, 

Toby


No such thing as a bad situation? – Mindful life-sculpting
 
No such thing as a bad sculpture
 
Twice in my degree in the fine arts, specializing in sculpture, I was told by one of the art tutors who taught me “Actually, after you have been making sculptures a while, one of the things that you realize is that there is no such thing as a bad sculpture.” That they meant by this is that, after a while you realize that every object has a certain quality, and that, if you can work your way around to seeing it, you can appreciate, enjoy and even value it.
 
Your own life from this perspective
 
In your own life you may have come across many experiences and situations that look a bit like a ‘bad sculpture’. By this I mean that initially you react with a strong negative judgment about it; “This is bad because”:

  • It’s not what I wanted…
  • It’s not what I’m used to…
  • It’s not what I was expecting…
  • It gets in the way of….

The reasons can go on and on. But then perhaps you have found over time that,

  • It not what you wanted, but there are certain advantages to it, now I have been living with it for a couple of weeks…
  • It’s not what you were used to, but now you are starting to see how what you were used to was holding you back in certain ways…
  • It’s not what I was expecting, but why was I thinking that what I was expecting was going to be the best thing for me anyway?…
  • It got in the way of this goal, but now there is more room for this other possibility to manifest in my life…

No such thing as a bad situation?

So then, the extension of the ‘no bad sculptures’ idea is perhaps, that there are no bad situations? And that actually it’s more a ‘mindset limitation’ that is the issue…

  • Last week I discussed halving the work commitment I have toward an organization. In these uncertain times that might seem like a ‘bad’ thing, but actually I need to create space in my work schedule, as it is getting over crowded
  • I tried to create room for doing some physical sculpture at the end of last year, but I wasn’t able to. Maybe this is inviting me to double down in the idea of my life as my ‘sculpture’, and that I am doing great!
  • My sleep has not been fantastic over the last couple of weeks, but maybe this is helping me to see how much new capacity I have to cope and thrive in life, even when my sleep is not optimal…

What if there were no bad situations in your life?
 
What if it was more a matter of you seeing the value in what you are going through? If you are the most powerful creative force in your life, how can you create, or ‘sculpt’ your present experience into something valuable, worthwhile, fulfilling? What if it was not primarily about it, but you?
 
Related articlesUsing distractions, sculpting thoughts, softening the body
Being the center of your universe

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Starts on Wednesday June 10th, 7.30-8.30pm – Chakra meditation as a gateway to non-duality, energy & the integrated self -an 8-week course

Starts Saturday June 13th, 5.30-6.45pm – Chakra meditation as a gateway to non-duality, energy & the integrated self – an 8-session deep-dive practice series

Sat 20th, 5.30pm & Weds 24th June7.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation
 


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Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Biographical creative imagery Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindfulness

Liberation from your roles & labels – Three examples

“The essential art of mindfully liberating ourself from our roles and names is to recognizing a role, name or label that we identify with closely, Learn to “drop” or dis-identify ourself from that role and then to then pick up and play the role with freedom in a newly interpreted and useful way”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Quite a lot of the coaching and corporate work I do these days involves playing mindfully with roles, names and labels. In the article below I outline the process and give three practical examples, so you can start playing the game in your own life!
Saturday 3-5pm I’ll be facilitating the Mindfulness masterclass: Liberation & creativity through the observer self (Finding freedom in your roles) , if you enjoy the article, then do feel free to join us, either in person or online!

Last call for the annual meditation on our own inner light in the run up to Deepavali this Tuesday and Wednesday evening.
And finally, this Sunday there is the New moon health visualization and envisioning session

In the spirit if mindful creativity,

Toby


Liberation from your roles & labels – Three examples

Much of the structure of our ego and self-concept basically revolves around names, roles and labels that we have become familiar with and identify with closely

  • “I am the troubleshooter in my business team”
  • “I am the arty child in the family”
  • “I am a victim because of this or that event”
  • “My value is that I am an academically qualified doctor”

These roles and labels give us some security in the sense of having an identity, but they also limit us and prevent us from growing. The essential art of mindfully liberating ourself from our roles and names is:

  1. Recognizing a role, name or label that we identify with closely
  2. Learning to “drop” or dis-identify ourself from that role, to separate our identity from it
  3. To then pick up and play the role with freedom in a newly interpreted and useful way
  4. To try out other roles and labels that are different from or opposite from the original, and integrate them into our ‘identity repetoire’

Three examples:

The inner critic becomes the intelligent critical thinker
In a corporate training last week I led on “Aspiring to excellence whilst dancing with imperfection”, we spent some of the time recognizing the ‘negative perfectionist‘ that many high performers identify with. We put that role down, and then after a while picked it up again and re-interpreted it as the ‘good quality critical thinker‘ that is constructive and helpful with regard to producing great work. We also began to play with the role of the ‘Non-judgmental self‘ as a complementary contrast.

The invulnerable one one becomes the vulnerable one
For a long time I was quite identified with ‘the invulnerable one‘ or the one who feels no fear. In a workshop on emotions about 2 years ago I focused on putting down that label and allowing myself to feel fear and venerability. By doing so I was able to start playing with and integrating the positive expression of ‘the vulnerable self‘ into my personality and daily actions. The ‘invulnerable one’ remains available to me, but I am no longer compulsively identified with it, I can pick it up or put it down as I wish.

The messy one and the one in control
With the recent addition of my baby daughter Liv to the family, I found myself struggling as the one who wanted things to be ‘ordered and in control‘. As life is naturally quite messy when you have a baby, I practiced putting down the ‘ordered’ label and playing with an ‘I’m happy for things to be messy’ label. As a result, I was able to relax into the chaos more and enjoy the process! That doesn’t mean I no longer play the ‘ordered one’ or the ‘one in control’, it just means I play it when its useful and appropriate, not unconsciously and inappropriately.

Enjoy playing with your roles, names and labels with creativity and freedom!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com  


Saturday 14th November, 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Liberation & creativity through the observer self (Finding freedom in your roles)

Learn how you can use mindfulness to find liberation from and creative freedom within the roles, names and labels you identify with in your life
Almost all of our lives are spent playing out different roles, names and labels that we have become identified with over the course of time. These roles and labels define our sense of who we are and, to a large extent what we believe is possible for us…
Full details


 

Tues 10th, Weds 11th November, 7.30-8.30pm – Deepavali Meditation – Connecting to your inner light

In this session we will be taking some time to:

  • Connect to our own ‘inner light’ in meditation, as a way of conquering the ‘darkness’ of our own inner confusion and fear
  • Sharing our inner light with our own personal circle of influence, and with the world
  • Taking our inner world journey to meet our own inner world guides who will offer us the light of their guidance at this time in our personal journey

Full details


Sunday 15th November, 6-7pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

About the session: This class is done monthly around the turn of the new moon and enable us to open to new beginnings, new possibilities and make a fresh start, specifically with regard to physical health and psychological wellbeing
Full details

 


Saturday 21st November 2.30-5.30pm – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self

The RESULTS that you can expect to gain from engaging in this workshop are:

  • The ability to self-heal parts of your psyche that are in pain and in need care and attention
  • A greater feeling of overall wholeness and wellbeing
  • More physical, mental and spiritual energy in your daily life
  • Deeper self-understandingreduced fear and greater emotional freedom
  • Greater harmony and success inyour relationships with other people (because you no longer project your shadow onto them)
  • Full details

 


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details

 


All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in November:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tues 10th, Weds 11th November, 7.30-8.30pm – Deepavali Meditation – Connecting to your inner light

Saturday 14th November, 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Liberation & creativity through the observer self (Finding freedom in your roles)

Sunday 15th November, 6-7pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

Saturday 21st November 2.30-5.30pm – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology